Faded
by Snowdrop.Faery
Summary: [Complete!]To heal can be a wonderous and painful process, so when it finally rolls around are the light in this war up for the challenge?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey Ladies and Gent's. _

_Disclaimer: I am no where near as talented as JK Rowling, HRH, so if you'd please acknowledge the fact that I am not her, and just playing with her wonderful imaginary world, it would be greatly appreciated. _

_Summary: Post Final Battle. Harry Potter has succeeded Voldemort, but is now trying to heal. Told from the POV of a new character, we watch as she tries to rediscover her horrific past while intertwining herself in the world of our famous trio, and survivors of the war. As the story unfolds we watch as they mend and learn together how to become a part of the peace filled life they never had._

**Chapter One**

I tried to sit up and look around. It hurt to move and the metallic taste of blood in my mouth convinced me to stay still. Voices were calling out for people—people who were still alive. I tried to make a sound but my body ignored my pleas.

Suddenly I felt cold. I was sick and tired and then cold. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. It was coming for me, the haunting face swirling round above me.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" someone yelled. The sadness was gone. But the pain wasn't, and my own screams echoed in my head while my Father's face laughed.

A couple voices met my ears. "Hello! Is anybody out there?" I moved my head towards the noise and made a groaning sound. As I opened my eyes I realized I was staring into someone else's. This person wasn't alive though. Her face was a pretty one, with freckles and long chocolate brown hair. It was matted and bloody. She had died too young, and I didn't even know her.

Footsteps echoed in my left ear. I tried my best to stick out my arm, but the mass of broken bones cracked and popped. Grass whispered as a cool breeze fell over me. Someone crouched down and I saw the knees of someone quite tall in bloody trousers.

"Hey there. It's going to be all right. I'm Remus. Can you hear me?" I nodded my head slowly, careful not to do much moving and let out a little groan.

"Don't move," the kind voice said. _Ya, like I'm going anywhere._ "I've got one!" he yelled. I closed my eyes. They found me. I wasn't going to die in this mass grave.

§

I woke up in a quiet room. My first thought was who would let me out. I hoped that someone would open the curtain. I managed to get a look of the room. From what I could see it was white; only white. I was in a hospital I assumed. My hair had been washed I was sure. I moved my left arm easily. I could move! I wasn't about to sit up however.

"Only seventeen people. I know. He's traumatized I think, but for a nineteen year old to accomplish such a feat. Merlin only knows." The voice entered the room quietly as if hoping not to wake me. There was some scuffling of boots and I assumed there were two people.

"Arthur will be fine they said. I can't believe—I'm so lucky."

"We all are Molly. We lost so many, but still. It's a miracle that you didn't lose any family… we can't figure out who this girl is though." He stopped talking and I heard his feet approach my bed. He wiped my hair off my forehead and sighed.

"She's pretty Remus. Her poor face though, but she's alive. But we should go check on Harry. I'm surprised that he's doing so well…" The woman faded off and I decided that this might be a good time to let them know I'm alive.

I groaned and opened my eyes.

"Remus!" the woman hissed. The footsteps headed back towards my bed.

"Hey there." A man with an anxious face met my vision. He looked rather old with a dark brown jacket. His eyes were kind and he appeared to be quite concerned. "You don't have to move alright. He turned his head towards the other wall, "Molly go get a nurse."

"Right, right—of course." More scuffling.

"How are you feeling?" He directed his attention back to me. "Do you want to sit up?"

I nodded my head but didn't say anything. He assisted me and slowly moved the bed to an angle.

"Can you talk?" he asked.

"Beth." I coughed. "My name is Beth." I coughed again and I couldn't stop. Blood spattered my blanket.

"Shit," muttered the man. "Don't talk, one sec. Nurse!" he called.

I gasped a breath of air and rested my head against my pillows. I closed my eyes again, falling into a deep, dark oblivion free of dreams and nightmares.

§

The next time I woke up I was alone again. It seemed that the nurse had deemed me worthy of sunlight, as the blind covering my window was now open three inches. Sunlight swept the floor of my room, highlighting it's bleach white color, and stark atmosphere. I lay there for a while not knowing what to do. I recalled my last conversation and sighed.

Footsteps approached my door. A group of three people in their late teens walked in.

"Oh!" whispered the only girl. "You're awake. Oh!" she said again. Had it been long or something?

"Erm… hi. You don't know us. We—uh this is the wing for survivors from the battle and umm we survived and so did you …" the red head said. I looked from him to the girl to the boy standing in-between them. He was being supported by the red head, and appeared to be quite pale against the richness of his blue house robe.

"One sec, Ron don't let Harry fall, I'll go fetch someone." The girl sprinted out of the room as the red head—I assumed him to be Ron, shifted his weight so that the boy with messy black hair was leaning on him a little more.

"So… I'm Ron, and this is Harry and that girl, her name is Hermione. And, erm—well. We don't really know who you are, but that's okay. Don't talk 'cause they said the last time you talked you started coughing and stuff—you do speak English don't you?" Ron stumbled over his words while managing to hold Harry up. I nodded my head and gave something resembling a grin.

"Oh good." He gave me a quirky smile. At that moment a two people dressed in Lime Green robes came bustling in. The man pushed Ron and Harry back towards the small couch opposite my bed and shuffled towards me.

"Hi Beth. My name is Healer Dave Presley. Can you hear me Beth?" I nodded my head. "Good, good. You're in St. Mungo's hospital Beth. You've been quite ill. Can you focus your eyes on the stick Beth?" He held up a popsicle stick and moved it all directions. I followed it with my eyes. "Good, good," he repeated. "Now Beth, if you don't want to, that's fine, but I need you to speak with me a little bit. Can you tell me when you were born Beth?"

I nodded my head and opened my mouth to speak. My throat was dry. "December twenty fourth." The man grinned.

"Excellent Beth! Now, is there anything you want to talk about? How about your full name Beth."

"Beth Charlotte… I don't…" I trailed off thinking hard. What the Hell was my last name? "I can't remember my last name… I'm sorry."

The healer frowned but changed it quickly into a smile. "Nothing to worry about." He wrote something down on his clipboard. "If you remember you just let me know okay? Okay. Excellent… Beth how old are you dear?"

I looked up into his plump face. His nose was round and bubbly and reminded me of a red rubber ball. "I'm sixteen."

He pondered for a minute. He looked like he wanted to say something then turned and whispered to the lady beside him. She nodded her head and gave me a kind grin. Her gray curls clung tightly to her head, and her blood red lipstick cracked.

"This is nurse Judy, Beth. She's going to help you get better when I can't be here. If you need anything, just ask her okay? Now, now, I need you to promise to stay awake for a little bit okay Beth?" I nodded again.

"Excellent, excellent." He nodded his head and turned and walked out the door, followed closely by nurse Judy.

Ron and Harry got up from the couch. While the healer had been talking to me, a few more people had entered the room. The Hermione girl was there, and so was the man—I think his name was Remus. Beside him was a woman who looked a little worse for wear. Her red hair seemed lank and stringy, and her face seemed in a permanent purse, as if she was constantly worried.

"Hey Beth. Do you remember me?" Remus asked. I nodded again. He grinned. "Good. This is Molly Weasley and that's Ron, Harry and Hermione," he said pointing to each in turn. "And if you don't remember, I'm Remus."

I smiled.

"Are you a witch Beth?" Remus asked straight out. Once again I nodded my head. He looked even more delighted. "Do you want us to try to get a hold of anyone? Your Mom or Dad maybe?" He smiled a genuine smile. I shook my head.

"My mom is dead. I don't want my Dad," was all I said. My voice cracked; he didn't question me further.

"Alright. Well Beth, we're here okay. You were quite sick, but you made it right?" He smiled again. Then, without warning, the woman named Molly came around the bed and gave me a tight squeeze.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" she whispered excitedly. I felt myself flushing. I didn't even know this woman! But we were all in the same situation weren't we? I decided it was my turn to ask questions.

"Is he dead?"

They all looked round at each other.

"Who dear?" Molly said quietly.

"You-Know-Who. Is he dead?"

"Yes."

The answer came from Harry. His head came up at the mention of You-Know-Who, and his eyes flashed a glossy green.

Molly wrung her hands together.

"Alright! You guys are probably hungry! Umm Ron, why don't you Harry and Hermione get on down to the cafeteria and then that's enough walking for you young man!" She said sternly, facing Harry. Ron let out a small laugh and the long cut on his cheek moved a little.

"Yes Mrs. Weasley," said Harry. Hermione smiled a little and gave me a small wave before cradling her arm and letting out a little hiss.

"I'll come talk to you later okay?" she said. She seemed nice enough and I smiled.

"I'd like that." I replied. She waved with her other hand as if to avoid further injury and allowed herself to be shuffled out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

_A big thanks to my one and only reviewer! _

**Chapter 2**

I asked for a mirror today. The healers wouldn't give me one. Something about shock came into play, and even nice old Nurse Judy wouldn't help me. I must be extremely ugly. I know I was hit in the face by something because that's what knocked me out, but for the life of me I couldn't let you know whether it was a spell, a person, or an inanimate object. Whatever it was, it must've been magical, because the healer's can't heal it. The left side of my face has started to regain feeling (the healer's had it numbed) and it throbs. My lip also feels much too big for my face. I've started to realize what happened and they told me I could shower myself tomorrow if I can stand.

I've regained feeling in the rest of my body too. My legs are still quite numb, but altogether whole. It was my rib cage that took a beating. I looked at it for myself today, and you would never have been able to tell that my skin was white. Three uneven slashes that were that were laid there by a death-eater remained across my ribs and stomach. Just underneath my chest there was a hole from a wand. The color of my body seemed to be the color of a violet flower, however it's neither beautiful nor attractive.

I've received visits from Hermione a few times daily. All the survivors are in the same wing of the hospital and seeing as there are so few of us, it is generally kept quiet except for friends and family.

Hermione has told me some things, like the boy I met, Harry Potter, had defeated Lord Voldemort. Now that he's dead, I've come to be able to speak his name. She's also told me that Hogwarts School, which I had heard of, had received many deaths, but most were to innocent families, and members of The Order of The Phoenix. This Order was a group who defied Voldemort and his ways, and very few remain. Albus Dumbledore, the man who started the group died a few years ago, and the Order was taken over by one Minerva McGonagall. She's dead. I've also discovered that Ron and Molly are related and he has a vast amount of brothers and one sister, and although they have all survived, two of Molly's oldest son's suffered consequences. One had been mauled by a werewolf and will never be the same, and although that happened a few years ago, he still remained a part of the order. He lost his bride of two years in battle. The other was bit by something during the combat. I think his name is Charlie. He's been asleep for three weeks now—that means I was out for two.

She's asked questions, like why was I there, and was I fighting. I could never bring myself to tell her.

I couldn't bring them to know I was a murderer either. My mother died when I was born, that they know. But I killed her. She died during childbirth. My Father is a bad man, and I won't tell them about him either. He's not a death eater, but I can't tell them that I wish he were dead.

Remus has come to talk to me often now. He's kind and gentle, and I like him. He lost a good friend in battle as well. Her name was Tonks I was told, and she was one of the funniest people they know. They said she was a privilege to have around, and I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to meet her.

Harry. I don't quite know what to say about him. I've seen him twice since I woke up. He's very quiet, and as of yesterday learned how to walk by himself again, actually, he needs a cane, but he no longer needs the support of someone living. He's not allowed to leave the hospital, and neither is Hermione. A lot of people aren't. The trauma that's been caused, and the treatments they require makes them stay in the hospital to recover. They say I might be here the longest, but Hermione has promised to visit me all the time—should they let her leave soon. She said she'll be here for Harry anyways, and the Weasley's are always here. I've met most of them, except for their youngest daughter, and the twins and the third born. He doesn't talk to his family anymore—I don't really know more than that.

I looked out the window and there was a knock on the door. Harry walked in. He was wearing jeans and a jumper with a dragon on it today. He walked with his new cane, which looked a little funny.

"Hi," he said. "Can I sit?"

"Come sit on the bed," I said inviting him over.

"How are you feeling?" he questioned.

"They still won't let me see a mirror. Am I really that hideous?" I questioned. I didn't know him well, but I felt we were all in a situation where if you didn't trust, you wouldn't receive it.

"No. You're fine." He smiled. "I can find you one, if you really want. But you have to promise that you won't kill yourself. You've lived through too much to do that." His face was grim again. It was always grim.

"If you think I might kill myself then it must be bad. My left cheek hurts a bit." I was a liar. It throbbed. The pain could possibly kill me if I hadn't felt worse.

He looked stunned at my sharp response and changed the subject. "The doctors said you couldn't remember stuff." I nodded. "They also said that there were bruises that were on your body that were there before the battle- " he coughed "older ones."

"Why were you listening in on doctors?" I questioned. He shrugged.

This time I changed the subject. "Have you seen Remus? He said he would be gone for three days." Harry looked up at me.

"Oh. He hasn't…" Harry trailed off.

"He hasn't what?" I asked my question bit sharply, but no one was answering my questions anymore. It was like they thought me to be fragile.

"He's a werewolf."

"So?" I asked. I wasn't go to begrudge Remus for something he couldn't control. It wasn't his fault, at least I hoped.

"Well it's a full moon tonight, so that's why he's gone," said Harry.

"Three Days?"

"He gets grouchy before hand, and the guy who used to make him a potion so that it was better—he's a traitor, and I think he's dead. I hope he's dead." The hatred that surged in Harry's voice overwhelmed me. My gut did a little back flip. He seemed to realize that he had frightened me and looked away.

"Sorry. The guy—Snape, he's a murderer." Harry looked up at me again.

"It's alright. I'm just a little jumpy. My Fath—" I turned away. Shouldn't have said that.

"I think I'm going to go get something to eat. Do you want anything?" He seemed genuinely concerned as he changed the subject for one of the many times that day.

"I do love the ice cream they have here."

"Me too," Harry said. "What kind?"

"Bubble gum."

"Coming right up," he said. He turned towards the door and limped out.

§

I got out of bed this morning. It has been eight days since I woke up and spit blood. I still do sometimes, but only when I'm upset. I was told I was allowed to go to the bathroom and take a shower.

As I was walked to the bathroom I realized that there would be a mirror. With a nurse on either side of me I walked about a meter. I opened the door, saw my reflection and started to cry.

I saw my face, but it wasn't mine. It was a scarred face, broken apart by bits of rubbish and bruised and bloody. My eyes stood out like a clear blue lake. I collapsed and the nurses couldn't hold me. The floor was hard, but the pain felt good. Comforting almost. The nurses rushed for help to pick me up, but as soon as they left I crawled into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

Within moments there was talk and scrambling behind the door. I leaned my back on it, my ribs throbbing. My appearance, the one that had been bruised many times prior had never ever looked anything like this. I crawled to the counter and pulled myself up with my recently healed arms. Sobbing I looked to see what had become of my face.

The right side was only a little bit yellow. It was like a bruise graveyard. My left was what horrified me. My eye was almost squinted shut, and the scar that ran from my temple down to the mid point of my cheek was scabbed and revolting. There was a purple and blue bruise that ran from the bridge of my nose down my chin and all the way to my eyebrow. It had uneven coloring, and the green and yellow bruising was starting to make itself seen on the outside. Another cut swelled on my temple, a jagged and fleshy looking cut that made my forehead seem huge. In between everything seemed pecked and scabbed. It was as if there had been things inside my face that had been removed. At last I found my eyes. While one was bloodshot, the other seemed perfectly normal and blinking back at me.

A great big teardrop rolled down my shocking face. I looked like a monster. I tore my face away from my reflection and found a hairbrush sitting on the sink waiting for me. My hair was still beautiful. It was a dirty blonde that hung past my shoulders. It waved down a little bit, but even though it was knotty, it was clearly my best feature. I picked up the brush and made my way to the toilet seat where I sat down and started to brush. I was careful to avoid brushing over the skin near my hairline, and combed it. I stopped and sighed.

Tears still pouring from my eyes, I got up and placed it back on the counter. Different things had been left there for me. A toothbrush and hair elastic, some tooth paste and Chap Stick. I tied my hair in a ponytail and brushed my teeth until the taste of foul potions was out of my mouth. All the while there had been people on the other side of my bathroom door, whispering and talking. I sat down on the floor and waited.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Beth." A voice came through the crack in the door. They unlocked it, but they couldn't move it because I was lying right in front and pushing it could have hurt me. I think I was in that room for a good two hours. People have tried to talk to me, even people I don't even know.

Hermione had sat on the other side of the thick door, whispering through the crack about acceptance. She droned on for a good thirty minutes before giving up and letting someone else try. There was a groaning noise as someone new leaned on the other side. His or her breathing was heavy.

"Beth, it's Harry. Can I come in?" I didn't respond. "Beth?"

I sat there for ten minutes, and he didn't speak. He just let me think. I don't know why I did it, but I moved out of they way. I had had people banging on that door for the last two hours. Why him? I don't know. Harry walked in, closed the door and with a little bit of difficulty, sat down beside me, our backs against it.

"I know it hurts. I know you feel… misunderstood. Can you look at me?" He sounded very much like a psychologist to me. I turned to face him.

"It'll fade," was all he said. I started to cry again and looked the other way. "It's nothing to be ashamed of." I didn't respond. "Will you come out?"

It was so funny how someone I barely knew could convince me to do something I was afraid to. "Can you make everyone leave?" I asked. "I'll come out, but everyone who is there, can you tell them to go? I promise to come out. I just— I was shocked that's all."

He patted my shoulder, pulled himself up on the doorknob, and gave me his hand. I pulled myself up, gasping as a pain shot through my ribs. I leaned against the bathroom counter.

"Beth? Are you okay?" I nodded. I really was. "I'm going to go out and tell them to leave alright, then I'll come get you." I nodded again.

He opened the door and limped out. I heard some scuffling and talking and the door opened again. I walked towards it and made my way slowly to the bed. The blinds had been pulled down to keep out the sunlight. I pulled my blue hospital gown down before I sat and then burrowed into the covers. Nobody was in the room. I heard Harry walk out, and closed my eyes.

§

"She's still fragile!"

"You are not her Guardian! And until we know that information, we as in the healers, make that call."

I opened my eyes and pushed myself up. My healer was arguing with Remus. They turned to look at me.

"Hey there Beth," said Healer Presley, "I've decided that it's time we should figure out who to contact about your mishap. Now I know you don't remember some information, which is fine, but we have special healers, who can recall that information for you." He walked towards the bed.

He had been prodding me over the last few days over my childhood, and different aspects of my life before the final battle; most of which I couldn't remember. He had sent in nurses and nice people who I had never met, and expected me to open up to them. The truth was, I didn't remember. I didn't know where I had lived or if I had any brothers or sisters; I couldn't remember life before that one day, other than basic things, like my favorite food, and spells.

"What do you mean? Like go into my head and find it?"

"Well, yes you could put it that way."

Something inside me snapped. "No freaking way!" I shouted. With the energy I had I got out of my bed and stood up, leaning against the bed stand. "You will not go into my head! No! You can't!"

"Now Beth," Remus started, "They won't do anything that you don't want—"

"No! I won't let them! WHAT IS INSIDE MY HEAD IS NONE OF THEIR BUISNESS!" I shouted. These people in the hospital in this wing had been like a family to me. That's the way life was now, and I understood that, but no one was allowed to break into my head and steal away personal things.

"Now Beth, think rationally. We can find out your last name, and who your Father is, and you remember that your Mother passed away which is good! But you are not of age. It is not right to just let you be. It's my job to contact someone. I'm a healer and can personally vouch your information will stay yours."

I looked desperately at Remus whose face was towards the ground. "I know who my freaking Father is! I mean, I don't, but I don't want him to know! He can go kill himself, I mean— I don't know! My mother is gone! I want to be alone! And I don't want people rummaging through my brain like- like some book!"

"Beth, please get back into bed."

"Leave."

"W-what?"

I stared him down. "Leave my freaking room." I felt wetness on my cheeks but ignored it. "Get out." My voice was quiet and filled with hatred. The healer nodded his head, and backed out of the room.

I burst into tears and fell into blackness.

§

I got out of my bed slowly. No one was aware I was awake yet. If I could just go for a walk; think about things. A housecoat was hanging on the hook by the couch. I stumbled over and covered myself.

Breathing heavily I leaned on the wall. My ribs throbbed but I didn't care. I would go and walk. It was dark outside and moonlight shone in a thin streak through my window across the floor.

I entered the hallway outside my door. There were roughly twenty rooms down the wing, ten doors to a side. I assumed this was the survivors' wing. My room was near the end of the stark white hallway, and the nurse's station was near the doors, opposite of me. I walked slowly towards it taking brief pauses to lean against the wall.

After three rooms I began to hear the yelling. The farther I walked, the louder it became. A door about three doorways down from me opened. Hermione's head popped out and she rubbed her eyes. Oblivious of my existence, she walked across the hallway cradling her arm and opened the door that the yells were coming from.

The yells turned into cries and screams as I progressed down the corridor. A portrait to my right was shaking his head. He disappeared and all that was left was black canvas. I turned into the room where Hermione had gone in. Ron, Molly, Remus and three other red heads were already around the bed.

I slipped through and realized that this was Harry's room. Nobody seemed aware of my night trip as I watched horrified from the back of the room a thrashing, kicking and screaming Harry. Ron stood behind Hermione, holding her waist as she cried. Remus sat on a chair in the corner of the room, his head in his hands trying to drown out the noise. Molly and who appeared to be her husband were standing at Harry's bedside. The little balding man seemed overwhelmed but unable to do anything. The other two red heads were speaking in hushed voices, each in black shiny jackets one with a "G" and the other "F" embroidered in the bottom left corner.

I stood in the back corner for what seemed like an eternity. Then it stopped. The silence was just that—silence. Nobody moved. Harry groaned and rolled over. Ron shook his head and took Hermione's hand. He whispered into her ear and she looked up and nodded her head. It was over. They turned to leave and saw me.

Ron didn't say anything, but gave me a grim smile. Hermione also said nothing and allowed Ron to lead her out and presumably to her room. The black jackets turned around. One of them gasped at the sight of me, and the other stood silent.

"Do we know you?" the one who gasped questioned. I took these two identical faces to be Ron's twin brothers; Fred and George. Thanks to them Remus, Molly and her husband turned to look.

"I'm sorry. I just—I went for a walk and heard…" I trailed off.

"It's fine Beth. He has nightmares and we-" Molly sniffed, "We can't wake him from them." She wandered away from her husbands hold and brushed Harry's damp hair off his forehead. She looked at me. "You should get back to bed dear."

"I'll take her."

Remus stood up from his chair and walked over to me. The twins didn't say anything else. Molly gave me a little wave. "Sweet dreams, dear."

"G'night," I said a little uncertainly.

Remus led the way and closed the door behind him. There was no need for an explanation. When I faltered he came back and allowed me to lean on him—not in a sick way mind you, but lovingly none-the-less. He guided me back to my room and into my bed.

"Beth, can I ask you something?"

"You just did," I said with a grin I knew was lopsided.

"Another one then."

"Sure." I could barely see his face. The side of his face opposite the windows was glazed over by moonlight, and through my door I only got the remaining light from the hallway.

"Why won't you tell us who your Father is?"

The question echoed in my mind, a painful reminder of my existence.

"I- do you know when you found me what condition I was in? Like, do you remember all the bruising and stuff?" His shadow nodded. "I don't remember how it got there. I mean, I was fighting in the war and everything, but I think—I think they were there before hand. "I paused struggling to remember. "I can't… I don't know for sure. When I was fighting, I was attacked mostly from the front, and the bruises on my back… I'm not sure how they got there. I think… I don't really know what I think, but I just don't know."

Remus didn't say anything. "You won't let them into my brain will you?" I asked. "I don't want… I mean maybe, if they have to know, but I don't turn of age for another seven months, and I just don't want people digging in my brain until I can decide for myself."

"Where will you go? When they let you leave Beth, where will you leave to?"

"I-I don't know." This question I had pondered over for a long time. Quite frankly I had no clue. I didn't have a wand, and I had no clothing or personal belongings. I was left to my own devices really. And I was sure to be let out of this place soon. I was healing wasn't I? I mean my face wasn't going to be much better shortly I knew, but it looked better than yesterday, and just because magic doesn't work quite yet on it, it doesn't mean it won't soon. And my ribs looked better. The slashes across my abdomen and upper body would never fade, they were evil magic and they were now apart of my skin, but they only hurt sometimes. And I could walk short distances. Maybe tomorrow I'll go for a longer walk.

"Well," said Remus, "if you need anything, everybody in this wing, we look out for each other." He turned to leave.

"Remus?"

"Yes."

"You never answered my question."

"You never answered mine."


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you to everyone for the wonderful reviews! My Dad is finally home after the weeklong trip from Afganistan to Alberta (Support Our Troops!), and I'm in such a good mood, here's a double posting!_

**Chapter 4**

The next day, after all the nurses had taken my temperature, and looked me over, I decided I wanted to go for a walk. I wasn't aware of what the rules were on this, but I figured I would soon find out. I walked into the bathroom first and tied my hair up in a small twist at the back of my head, a few pieces hung across my non-punctured skin on the right side of my face. I examined the scarred skin on the opposite side for a moment before applying Chap Stick and turning away.

The hallway was a little less eerie than the night before, and the wandering did me good, except for the fact that I had to stop every few paces. I hadn't slept well the night before—Harry's screaming kept ringing in my nightmares, echoing my own. I walked past his room without looking in. If he wanted to talk to me, he would find me. I left the floor I was on, and traveled to the Fifth towards the cafeteria. The hospital was quiet, and I found no complications along the way.

After getting some pumpkin juice and a small container of fruit, I sat down by myself beside a window. I was quite cozy and deep in my own thoughts when a soft tap on the shoulder withdrew me from them.

"We'd like to apologize."

"We weren't aware-"

"That you and our friend Harry had so much in common-"

"These-"

"Are for you."

As I watched this amazing turn of events, Fred and George Weasley made a quite unexpected apology, and handed me a bouquet of flowers.

"Umm, thank you. I know it must have been weird to see a," I gulped, "Deformed girl out of no where."

They looked at a loss for what to say, so they changed the subject.

"May we sit?" requested one.

"Be my guest," I replied. Each sat on one of the square seated red and white chairs.

"I forgot to introduce myself-"

"And I!"

"Fred Weasley," said the one in the green jacket.

"George Weasley," said the other (his jacket was red).

"Beth." I gave them a small smile and turned my head toward my fruit.

I had a feeling that these two boys were judging me quite closely. It was as if their eyes followed my every movement, so when I dropped my fork and one jumped to grab me another one, I was quite baffled.

"So Beth, how'd you get down here all by yourself?" asked George.

"You do not really seem in the condition for walking," said Fred.

"Well, I needed to get out of that room. It's disgustingly white, however," I motioned to the cafeteria, "I can't truly say this is much better." It was true. The cafeteria had such a combination of fifties, sixties, and seventies drab that it made my head spin.

"Can we escort you back to your room?" asked Fred. I nodded and gave a polite smile in response. As I stood up however, my ribs gave a squeak of protest.

"One moment," I said with a grimace. The pain passed altogether to slowly and I stood upright.

"A girl of your outward show should definitely not be walking unassisted," said George.

"I could not agree more!" said Fred.

Without a thought further one moved to each side sticking a hand around my waist and under my shoulders. They then proceeded to lift me to the elevator, and all the way back to the Survivors wing. As I had quit protesting five minutes in, I rather enjoyed the walk seeing as I didn't have to do any walking. Once in the hallway they placed me down at my request.

"I'd like to check in with anyone who's left around," I said. "And I did get out for a walk this morning."

"I do believe that our dear brother checked out this morning, but he is probably still hanging around somewhere."

Fred sighed and added, "The poor boy is lovesick for Hermione you see. He most likely won't leave until she does, and Hermione probably won't leave until Harry does, so they both might be here for a while."

"Hermione's parents might force her out though," added George.

"She's a tough cookie that one. Never could quite get her straight," said Fred.

"I like her," I said. "She's nice."

"Well, this is our stop." The twins pointed to the door to my left. "You could join us if you'd like. I'm sure Charlie wouldn't mind. He's still asleep you understand."

"I love to join you. Where is your other brother? I think his name is Bill?" I questioned. I understood that his bite had taken place a few years ago, and that the injuries he sustained during the fight had not been too bad.

"He checked out two weeks ago and went back to work."

"He can only work about two weeks a month, but he loves it. Poor guy. Heart broken."

I nodded my head and followed them into Charlie's room.

It was white like mine, but nowhere near as blank. Hundreds of cards were scattered about the room and I instantly felt a surge of emotion. Flowers were strewn about as well. George and Fred walked up to his bed.

"Hey Charlie old chap!" said Fred. The thin man on the bed didn't move. A small scar above his eyebrow was all that could be seen of his grievances. His red hair was clipped closely to his head and a few placed freckles were scattered across his nose, which looked like it had been broken not once but three times.

"We're back," said Fred. "And guess what Charlie, we've brought a friend. Meet Beth. She's blonde with blue eyes, and quite pretty."

I flushed at the complement even though I knew it not to be true, and stumbled around the side of the bed. "Erm, Hi Charlie. You've never met me, but I know all about you. I know you like dragons a lot, and that you're going to wake up soon… so anyways, it was nice meeting you." The body remained motionless.

"Well Fred and I are going to continue our chat with Charlie. You can stay if you want."

I shook my head. "It's a nice offer, but I think I'm going to go for a stroll. Thanks for the lift guys." I stumbled out of the room. It was kind of them to invite me, but it seemed like a personal affair to speak to one's brother who might not ever respond back. I proceeded down the hall past the nurse's station, and onto the rooms closer to mine. Hermione came out of a room and saw me walking.

"Oh! What are you doing out of bed?" she said. "Are you allowed?" She had a pink flush to her cheeks and was hastily doing up her buttons on her chocolate brown sweater.

"Who are you talking to, love?" came a voice from inside the room. Ron walked out with a suitcase in each hand. He flushed when he saw me and looked down. "Hi Beth."

"Hello. Have you been discharged as well Hermione?" I asked. My heart had dropped to the pit of my stomach when I saw those suitcases.

"Well, yes, but we'll be here everyday until Harry gets out. And you too of course!" she added hurriedly.

"That's great that you two can leave together. Erm, I'll see you later. I think I'm going to go for a nap." I turned dejectedly for my rooms.

"Bye Beth! We'll see you later."

§

The white doorway looked odd to me. It was almost as if something was wrong, and even though this wing was relatively quiet most of the time it was almost too quiet. I turned through my doorway and found my healer standing there.

"Ah Beth, just the person I've come to chat with. We need to talk about our situation I think." He smiled and patted the bed beside him.

"I'm fine here thanks. What do you need to know?" I asked politely. He seemed oddly happy.

"Well, nothing in particular. You see, I really need to contact your guardians to let them know you are well."

I looked at him and frowned. "I remembered yesterday, they're both dead. Sorry." I was lying of course, but maybe he would leave me alone if I did. I stood quite guarded and placed my hand on the wall.

"Ah, well you see Beth, you must have a guardian out there somewhere, and so I need to let them know. It's part of the job you understand. So I thought we'd give a try at the Legologists. They'll just bring up some information see, and then it will all be over, in a snap."

"No."

"Now really Beth, I don't want to have to—"

"Absolutely not. You can't go poking in my brain."

"Your _memories_ Beth. Not your brain. No come now, it's a very positive thing!"

"I'll yell."

"What? You can't yell Beth."

"I'm afraid I can and I will. It's my right to keep my memories to myself." I looked him up and down.

"Well, I'm afraid it's not Beth," Healer Presley stood up and rolled from the balls of his feet to his heels. "You see, you are under age, and the law states—well there is no point going into that now is there? The thing is, it's my job to inform your guardians of where you are." He walked towards me, and withdrew his wand.

"Help!" I screamed "Hel—"

"_Silencio_!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

As he approached me I tried fiercely to scream nothing came out of my mouth although my throat throbbed from the soundless yelling.

"Now, now Beth, nothing to be concerned about. It'll be quite quick my dear." Healer Presley levitated me to my bed. I started to cry again. "Oho Beth, there is no need to cry. Wipe those… that pretty cheek."

I struggled on the bed and found myself stuck. I couldn't move. My hands were glued to my sides, and my legs were stuck together. I started to panic and breath funny. I heard shuffling to my right but couldn't see the doorway.

"I heard some screaming Healer Presley, do you need anything?" Cute nurse Judy had walked in.

"Well as a matter a fact I do, this young lady here has just had a panic attack you see, and I think there," he lowered is voice, "is something wrong with her mind. Could you get the calming potion please? And maybe a sleeping one as well."

"Of course Healer." More footsteps.

"Now Beth, this won't hurt a bit I promise, and once Judy gets back, you can take those potions like a good girl, and then you won't even know what happened." Healer Presley leaned his ugly face over top of mine and smiled. My eyes rolled in my head. I wanted to run and get away from this creep.

I heard more footsteps.

"Oh, sorry Healer Presley, we came to see Beth, but if she…" a male voice came from the doorway.

"Now, now children, Beth has had a little panic attack that's all. I'm afraid I've had to silence her until she stops screaming. I need you to leave." Healer Presley patted my shoulder as if I was six years old.

"Oh," said a voice I knew to be Hermione's. "Oh, okay. Well, we're leaving now, but we'll be back later tonight to see her. Can you tell her that when she's calm? I don't know if you can hear me Beth, but we'll be back all right? Get well!"

I could hear Ron dragging her out of the room, and it was silent once again.

"Some nice friends you have young lady. Very nice. You're lucky—ah! Nurse Judy. Come quick my dear nurse, she's starting to hyperventilate now." More scuffling and then someone propped me up. "Well since you are unable to drink yourself Beth, I'm going to do it for you alright? This might hurt a squeeze."

I looked around for anybody. I prayed someone would come into my room and I wished I could wipe my cheeks. Nurse Judy pried open my mouth and tilted my head back. I'm afraid I could do nothing to stop her and the sad thing was, she thought she was helping and doing something right. Healer Presley seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he was lying to one of his assistants, and also seemed to think that he was doing the correct thing by going against my will.

As the calming potion went into my mouth I felt my whole body relax. It was as if someone had dropped me into a warm bath. I started to breath normally.

"That's a girl," Healer Presley muttered. "One more Beth and then it'll be all over, nice and quick."

"What are you doing?" a voice came from the door. "I need to know what you're doing!"

I knew that voice right away. Remus had come to save me from myself, and everybody else.

"Now Mr. Lupin, I need you to leave the room. This is a medical procedure. Please don't make me call security." His attention torn away from me, I started to panic again. It was if I had forgotten and then remembered. My eyes started to roll again, and I began to gasp and drool.

"No. What are you doing sir?" I heard footsteps. "Why is she—why can't she breath? Have you petrified her?" His voice sounded outraged. _Fight him Remus!_

"Mr. Lupin, you must leave. You've got her all wound up again. We've just calmed her and I can't overdose her on it, or she could fall into a more _permanent_ sleep." I choked on my own spit and the nurse, who seemed shocked by the doctor's threat, dropped me back onto my pillows. I started to cough through a frozen mouth.

Remus muttered a quick spell, and I immediately pulled myself into a ball, coughing and spitting. I still couldn't talk, but movement was enough.

I heard the door squeak open and looked up. Four other people in lime green robes entered the room. I laid my head back down and tried to control the coughs that were now racking my body and causing me to vibrate. I saw blood on my pillow and then everything went into a familiar murky darkness.

§

"Beth, I know you can hear me, I need you to open your eyes."

I groaned. Why was someone yelling at me? I opened my eyes. Remus was sitting beside the bed holding my hand.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know he would do that Beth, I'm so sorry." I heard a sniffle from the other side of me, and Hermione looked down on me.

"He said it was a panic attack Beth! And I believed him!" She burst into tears.

"S'all right," I muttered. "Stop crying—please. I'm fine, really." I propped myself up on my elbows and instantly there were four hands propelling me upwards. In three seconds I was sitting up against fluffed pillows.

I looked around. Harry was sitting beside Remus, his face grim and large purple bags under his eyes. Standing beside him were the twins and a tall man with a face that seemed to have been mauled at one point. He had a ponytail and was dressed in all black. I assumed him to be Bill. Beside him were Molly and her husband and to my right were Hermione and Ron. Hermione was sniffling and Ron looked thoroughly dejected. A girl a little older than me was asleep at the back of the room on the couch. Her hair was red, and I guessed this to be Ginny Weasley.

"How're you feeling Beth?" asked Molly.

"I'm fine. Really, it's nothing," I assured the mother of so many. " A little tired maybe, but I'm fine."

"We want to take you home."

This statement shocked me. It came from my left, and Harry had focused his attention on the floor.

"I have a big house, and everyone's living in it right now. The Weasley's, and Remus, and a couple people you haven't met yet. And I know, I mean it's alright if you don't want to explain because, well just because." He looked up at me in synch with everyone else. The girl on the couch was awake now and had wandered towards the end of my bed. She glared at me almost angrily. All except her seemed to be waiting on my answer.

I didn't know what these people had done to get me out of this hospital without a guardian, and I didn't want to know. They were offering me something I couldn't refuse. A home.

"I'd like that."

§

We left for Harry's manor three days later. I had received a new healer who had given all my potions to Mrs. Weasley who was to administer them accordingly. Harry had been discharged before I had, but they all came and visited me anyways. Ginny Weasley, whom seemed to dislike me for some reason, had loaned me some of her older clothing because I didn't have any, and because her mother had said so. Arthur Weasley, Molly's husband, was quite nice, although slightly jittery.

When we left the hospital I was given a cane as well, so Harry and I slowed down the group with our pace. There were ministry cars sitting out front the building, supplied by Rufus Scrimgeour himself. Harry snorted at the sound of his name and we crawled into the roomy vehicles. The ride there was quiet, so I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the back of the car.

When we got there, I was amazed at the vast size of the house. Someone had carried my things in, and we walked through the front door as quietly as possible. I had been informed that there was a portrait on the wall that tends to scream when awoken. I didn't get any more information than that because when I asked whom it was, only silent gazes met my eyes.

"C'mon Beth, I'll take you to your room. We're all on the same floor; Harry, Ron, Ginny and me I mean. All Ron's brother's are on the floor above us, and the adults and remaining members of the order are above that. Roughly anyways, sometimes they switch around. The kitchen is in the basement, and there are living rooms and stuff like that scattered throughout." Hermione took my hand and led me toward the staircase.

We climbed up a flight of stairs slowly. I took breaks every three steps, puffing heavily. We reached the landing gradually, and the first thing I noticed was the darkness. The walls, doors and everything else were just dark. Another staircase was to my left, and four doors placed evenly around the circular landing.

"Ginny and I sleep in the same room, and Harry and Ron sleep separately just because they could I suppose," she shrugged her shoulders, "but Harry's let Ron move in with him into the bigger room, and you get the room in the middle. It's a little small, but it'll work." We walked forwards and she opened the door for me.

My room was a shade of emerald green with three thin windows placed high on the far wall. It was a skinny room, and quite long. A closet rested along the right side of the room, and a double bed sat along the left. A dresser was assembled along the same wall as the door we entered through. It was the ceiling that amazed me though. It appeared to be round, like a dome shape, but when I blinked, it changed into something that resembled the sky.

"It changes," explained Hermione, "To suit you. Ron got the dome, but I suppose you like the sky? All the bedrooms have been bewitched to do that. It was Harry's idea."

I nodded. "It's very cool. Thank you." I smiled genuinely and limped over to my bed. The bedspread was white and the head and footboard were made of a black iron, and appeared to be covered by thousands of snakes. Fakes ones, but snakes none-the-less.

"The bathroom's farthest on right. The girls get the bottom drawer for all our stuff, and the guys get the top. Are you okay?" asked Hermione. Her blue jeans and black sweater made her appear so tiny. She was only older than me by a few years, but she was not a big girl. She put her wrist to her chest and came and sat beside me on my bed.

"If you ever need to talk, everyone here is—well anyone is willing to listen. We're all family here. I moved away from my parents last year and came here. My parents could never understand you see," she looked away, "they're both muggles. They're dentists." She laughed. "While I was out fighting and training for war they thought I was just learning and getting a first class education. It's hard for them to truly comprehend what happened a month ago. So I'm just saying it's okay to talk about it." She sighed. "Harry won't, and Ron will only tell me. The older guys are quiet, but I know Bill is hurt. Fred and George have their own place you know. And don't mind Ginny. She's upset… I mean. Well I'll tell you later."

I listened gently as she talked. She seemed to need to; it was as if she needed to prove a point. She mumbled quietly for a good ten minutes and then turned to look out the door.

"Look at me, boring you with facts about life. I'm starting to sound like my mother."

"It's alright. I don't mind," I said. "It's nice to know what's going on." For a moment her eyes brightened as if she thought I was going to pour my heart out. When I didn't continue she gave me a sad smile and got up and left. Still dressed I lay on top of my blankets and went for a nap.


	6. Chapter 6

_Many thanks for the reviews! I should let you know that school does start next week, and I hope to get three more posts in before that. Then, I might be updating less depending on my schedule (I'm in grade 11), but I have finished up to chapter twenty roughly, so this story will **not** be dumped. Ciao!_

**Chapter 6**

Someone knocked on the outside of my room and I sat up with a jolt. Ron and Harry walked in, Harry leaning on Ron heavily.

"Dinner's ready," said Ron, "but if you don't want to eat that's good too. Mum says that she'll bring your potions up and then you can just go back to sleep." He was wearing a maroon jumper and a pair of black trousers. Harry was dressed almost the same, except his jumper was the same color as my walls.

"I'll be right down," I said, "I'm just going to freshen up."

Ron gave me thumbs up, and he and a very mute Harry turned to go down the stairs. I walked to the dresser across from my bed and found my things already put away. My hairbrush, toothbrush, and Chap Stick from the hospital were placed on top.

I picked up my hairbrush and tied my hair back the best I could without a mirror. I straightened my secondhand sweater and picked up my cane from where it was leaning on the end of the bed stand.

Dinner was a quiet affair, although not quite a somber as I had expected. The dining room was more like a dark hall, with a long table and enough chairs to seat twenty people. Everyone however was sitting closest to the door. The twins had graced us with their presence and were updating their parents on the progress of their house.

"Well Mum, the burrow will still be the burrow, just better. More room, and the living room will be bigger," said Fred.

Molly smiled. "I don't know what to do with you two! First you do that joke shop and now fixing the house." She looked like she was about to cry when George interrupted.

"You and Dad will have a whole floor to yourselves. It's up at the very top and has your favorite colors in it Mum."

The mood lightened after that, and Ginny explained to me why it was such a big deal. Her voice was slightly hard sounding at first, but the more she spoke, the kinder it got.

"During the war we didn't really live in our house, we lived here. So when the news came, it was no surprise to us that part of the house had been destroyed and it had been raided and what not. But Fred and George made this joke shop a few years ago, and they made a whole truck load of cash." She leaned in and whispered, "It's this whole surprise, because Mum thinks the house is just being remodeled, but Fred and George knocked down the whole thing and basically started from scratch. They took the same house plan of the old burrow and are putting it into the new burrow. And Mum and Dad aren't allowed to see it until it's done." She smiled gleefully, and then seemed to realize it was me she was talking to, and turned back to her conversation.

"That's wonderful," I said, even though I knew she was ignoring me.

"Molly you've out done yourself," said Remus from across the table. He heaped some more soup into his bowl and smiled.

"It was nothing," said Molly blushing slightly. "Just a little bit of stew. You know. Ever since Diagon Alley opened up again it's been much easier to find what I need to make a good meal." She smiled.

Arthur leaned in and kissed her on the cheek and I watched enviously. I don't think I had ever seen so much love in one family. Bill even smiled through his healed face. Ginny and Fred were whispering underneath their breath, and George was talking with Remus and Hermione.

"Where is everyone else?" asked Harry. I had noticed him sitting at the end of the table, quietly eating. Him and Ron had been speaking softly.

"Well, as you know Diagon Alley reopened," said Arthur, "So they went down for a little while. Alastor needed to get out, and Emmeline and Kingsley left with him." He smiled and took a bite of soup. "Oh, and Kingsley wants you to know that Hagrid's little brother says 'hi.'"

Everyone started to laugh, except for Harry, who only grinned and then continued to play with his soup. I didn't understand what was so funny, so I continued to eat and listen.

Ginny leaned in on my right and whispered in my ear impatiently, "Hagrid's brother is a giant."

"Really?"

She nodded.

"That is so cool." I said. She put on a cocky smirk.

"I've met him. So has everyone here except… George I think. Oh, and you." She turned back to her previous conversation. I played with my soup for a little bit more and then excused myself.

As I went to grab my dishes to take them to the sink, Molly ushered me to stop. "I'll take care of it dear, why don't you go take a bath. Hermione showed you where everything is right?" I nodded my head. "Excellent dear, I'll come up with your prescription when you're done. Go on now."

"Thank you Mrs. Weasley," I said. I turned and limped out of the room and conversation started back up behind me.

§

The bathroom was a deep yellow, and contained not a tub, but something that resembled more of a miniature swimming pool. The sink counter was quite long, and I placed my toothbrush and hairbrush beside Ginny's and Hermione's.

I avoided meeting my own gaze at the mirror and walked over to the tub. I filled it all the way to the brim with steaming hot water, and stripped down carefully. As I removed the bandages from my ribs I realized I would have to ask Molly for clean ones to wrap myself back up afterwards. My clean pajama's (they were pink with little pygmy puffs on the pants—Ginny had good taste) I laid across the toilet seat, and my dirty laundry I placed in a pile by the door. A towel rack was beside the tub, so I allowed myself to get in.

The heat felt soft on my skin and I eased myself in the tub. My cuts on my ribs burned for a few seconds, but then the pain left and I lied in a corner of the tub, resting my head on the wall. It seemed that everyone here was mending. Remus seemed very inward, and didn't talk much. He was such a lovely man though—fatherly. Harry I knew had problems, and Ron seemed inward as well. Ginny doesn't seem as hurt as her family, but she was bitter, or angry with me for reasons I knew not. She seemed to be in a type of distress, but I felt I might never know. It was a house of healing.

There was a loud pop inside the bathroom and I let out a little shriek and sunk beneath the water so all that was visible was my head. Standing in the middle of the bathroom was a disgusting little creature with large eyes, and even larger ears. Tufts of hair poked out about his head, and he was wearing only a dishrag. It was the most ghastly house elf I had ever seen.

"Well hello… erm, could you do me a favor and uh, get out?" I didn't mean to be rude, but this thing was staring at me like I was a giant bug.

"The malformed thing asks Kreacher to get out does she?" the little thing mumbled under his breath violently. "Kreacher has to clean and she wants Kreacher to leave…" he started to mutter under his breath so I couldn't hear. He conjured the filthiest cloth I have ever seen and began to rub down the baseboards, sparing a few glares for me every few seconds.

A knock at the door made me look up.

"Is everything alright in there?"

"Erm, well, it seems I have company…" I yelled through the door.

"KREACHER!" screamed the voice outside the door. "Get out of that bathroom you disgusting little pervert!"

Kreacher looked at the door and sighed. "As master orders, filthy half blood…" With another pop he disappeared. I scrambled out of the tub and toweled dry. I threw on my clothing and opened the door to see Harry still standing there.

"Where is he? That sick little pig. I'm so sorry. I want to get rid of him…" He peered over my shoulder easily and looked disappointed to not see the thing in the bathroom. His face was very pale and his scar stuck out from his skin like a rose bush in a cornfield.

"It's alright Harry, he's just cleaning. I mean, he is a little weird, but I mean he can't have meant anything can he?"

To my surprise Harry started to laugh. "You sound just like Hermione. I hate that thing, but she won't let me kill him."

I laughed too. His laugh was infectious. It was one of those things you don't hear often, but it's nice to hear.

"He just shocked me a bit, that's all. Out of no where," I laughed again to make the whole situation lighter. "I think I'll go apologize to him though, I was a bit rude."

"He's crazy Beth, he'll think that you're a murderer and try to deflect you with Sirius' Mum's bloomers." He grinned again.

"Who's Sirius?" I asked. The moment the words were out of my mouth, I knew they were wrong. Harry's face, which had looked so much lighter a moment before, turned unfriendly.

"My god-father."

"Oh, erm well that's cool. Does he live upstairs?" The situation went from bad to worse. Harry turned away.

"Wait, Harry I'm sorry. This guy, Sirius, was he bad or something? I'm sorry…" He continued to walk away and I didn't stop him. I had ruined it. We were laughing for a moment. I sighed. Maybe I would ask Ron later.

§

"Mum went to go see Charlie, so she asked me to give you this," Ron said. He walked into my bedroom and placed four vials of liquid on my bedside table. "It's the blue, the clear, the pink and then the purple potion in that order. And if you want a sleeping draught you have to go ask Remus." He smiled. "I think I got it all. And if you feel sick at all then I apologize in advance."

"Thanks Ron." I looked at them and then stuck out my tongue. "I look forward to not having to take these anymore," I said.

"You think you've got it bad. Hermione takes one that tastes like puke, and Harry has to take a double sleeping draught." He squinted his face together. "I'm lucky though, I finished all mine three days ago. This baby," he pointed to the scar across is cheek, "is permanent. I think it makes me look dashing though."

I snorted. "Most dashing."

There was a silence for a second. "Ron, who was Sirius?"

Ron looked at me startled for a moment. "Oh. Oh he said something did he?"

"Well yes," I looked up at him, "Harry mentioned him when Kreacher appeared in the bathroom when I was in the bath."

"That little pervert."

"Well it's not that bad, but he said that Kreacher would try to fight me off with Sirius' mother's bloomers, and I asked who Sirius was, and he… well he got all sullen and walked away." I frowned and looked down.

Ron sighed and sat down beside me. The bed squeaked under his weight and he started to talk.


	7. Chapter 7

_Once again wonderful reviews! Fabulous! I'd like to suggest a book which I've just finished reading if you're looking for a challenge: Franny and Zooey by JD Salinger (AKA The Catcher in The Rye). The crazy vocabulary is amazing, and I'm afraid I have to read it again, so anyways that's all I have to say, read on! xoxo_

**Chapter 7**

I knew who Harry was when I first met him. I knew he was the savior and of course I had heard of him. But who in the wizarding community hadn't? But I couldn't remember seeing newspapers and tabloids about Harry's existence through my childhood—or I just couldn't remember at all. I don't think that I was concerned about what was going on outside because I wasn't aware there was an outside.

Ron spoke to me for two hours at least. He told me of his adventures with Harry and Hermione, and Harry's pains. He explained to me who Sirius was, and how life came to be for Harry. I came to know how his childhood evolved into man hood, and how he suffered life's tragedies.

Hermione had walked in half way through our talk, telling Ron that his parents were on their way home, and Harry was sleeping so he should be quiet. She also sat down for a little while, and added in bits and pieces here and there before going to bed.

A little while later, Ron too decided to go to bed.

"Thank you, for explaining all this. I—when I grew up, well I don't remember much, but I don't think that stuff was important to me." I focused my eyes on the ceiling, which was now twinkling stars and planets. A shooting star flew across the room and I made a wish.

"No problem. It's no problem at all. Just—Harry is still recovering you know? And we try our best, but I'm about as sensitive as a garden tool, and Hermione is my girlfriend, so it's awkward for her to talk to him sometimes, and Harry has saved Ginny so many times that they don't have feelings for each other you know? I think that Ginny was afraid of feeling obligated to look up to Harry for that reason. They talk now, but after everything that's happened, not as much." He looked away for a moment. "Don't get to frustrated with Ginny. She's being ruse for reasons… well, you'll know if she tells you.

I nodded my head. "We should probably get to sleep." He turned out of the room.

"Night Beth."

"G'night."

§

I found myself talking less to everyone after that night. It seemed they had all done great things, and I had done so little in the war against evil. It wasn't that I felt sorry for myself, or even that I was jealous of their bravery. It was more that we had even less in common than I had predicted.

These people that I had come to know, were brave and loyal and extremely heroic, whereas I, I couldn't even remember my last name. It seemed to me that I was just another damsel in distress, instead of a hero in disguise.

Remus has tried to talk to me several times alone since we've been here. It has been a week now, and we're starting into June. The dry season had started and we—the survivors—had been ordered to get out more.

§

A muffled screaming to through my wall woke me. I knew Harry was in the next room, thrashing his heart out. It was hard to hear because the walls in this house were so thick, so I turned over and tried to go back to sleep.

The screaming continued. I shut my eyes tight a prayed for his sanity. Then, it stopped. For a brief second I thought it was over, but then just as fast as it ended it began. I sat up and rolled out of bed.

I wanted to sleep well that night because I was going out the next day with Remus for a new wand, and possibly some things of my own. However, the screaming kept me awake, and although no one else heard it, I did.

I walked to my door and opened it. The tiny squeak was the only sound I received and thanked Merlin for it. I walked down the two flights of stairs slowly until I found myself in the kitchen. I wasn't the only one up.

Ron sat with a mug of something in his hands. His face was unshaven and his eyes had heavy bags underneath. He looked up as I had started to breath heavily.

"You heard it too then?" he asked. I shook my head in a small lie.

"Just thirsty." I wandered through the dining room to the kitchen, which had obviously been remodeled. A small candle chandelier hung from the middle of the beige ceiling. I walked to one of the glass cupboards and grabbed a glass, and then filled it with water at the sink.

When I walked back into the dining room, Ron was still there, his face in his mug.

"I can't stand it." I didn't interrupt, not sure if his glass was speaking, or he was. "I just can't. That screaming, it's like that day all over again. I mean he's my best mate, but to watch him like that. You don't know…"

I looked him over carefully. His face showed all the signs for lack of sleep, and his body sagged.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed?" I asked. "I can sleep in yours—all my potions allow me to sleep through anything truly noisy." This was a lie. I did a lot of that lately, and then gave him a weak smile. It was least I could do for him. I mean, it was his family that was letting me in, and there wasn't any real way I could pay him back.

"Really?"

"Sure. I think you might be able to hear it a bit through my wall, but it's not nearly as bad. I don't mind, I just want my pillow if that's alright?"

"Erm, yes sure. I can do that." He smiled sincerely. Then something crossed his mind. "What if he wakes up and find you there? He might be angry. I mean I'm his best friend, and to not be able to put up with that…"

"Wake me up around seven. He doesn't get up until after ten usually right? So wake me up, and we'll switch back."

Ron smiled. "I don't know how to thank you. I have put up with it for the last three n-n—" he burst into a yawn.

"No problem." I stood up from the table, and limped over to the doorway. I hadn't brought my cane down because I though I wouldn't need it, however in the dark of night I was quite clumsy, and tripped over the coat stand in the hall. Ron caught me with his left arm, pulling into my abdomen. I let out a brief gasp.

"Oh, I'm sorry Beth, are you alright?" He righted me and I grimaced.

"Just peachy."

"Can I—do you need help?" He looked truly sorry.

"Just walk up the stairs with me. I'll be fine. I just hope the meds kick in soon," I let out a little laugh.

"Oh, right. Of course." Ron, who was clearly about as sensitive as a rock, showed a discrete compassion and allowed me to walk up the stairs at my own pace. When we reached the landing I waited in front of Harry's door while Ron snuck into my room and grabbed my pillow.

As he walked out he handed me my pillow and signaled quiet by placing his fingers in front of his lips. He opened the door and managed to keep it from squeaking. Harry was lying in a bed on the right, and Ron's bed was clearly on the left. I could barely see in the dark, so I allowed Ron to lead me by the hand to his bed. I sat down and grimaced as the springs whined. Ron grabbed his pillows and gave me thumbs up before leaving the room.

The door closed with a soft click, and I laid back on the mattress. I fluffed my pillow underneath my head and rolled so I was facing the wall.

I dreamed I was in a desert. It was isolated and dry and I couldn't find anything to drink or eat. A man appeared out of nowhere and started to yell at me for being unable to do anything right. I was supposed to have found camels so we could travel and I hadn't. Then there were men with white masks on, their faces anonymous. They began to taunt me and laugh. Some tried to touch me, and grab me, but I screamed at them to get away. I yelled and I yelled but they wouldn't stop chanting. My father was laughing at me. "This is what you get," he kept repeating. "I didn't want you, so this is what you get!"

I woke in a cold sweat, screaming ringing in my ears, but when I woke it stopped. I turned to face Harry, who I assumed had been yelling. He was also sitting up, his knees tucked into his chest, his back against the wall. It took me a moment to figure out how he reached the sitting position so fast. It hadn't been his screaming that woke me. It had been mine.


	8. Chapter 8

_Oh Geez. I think I just went on the best shopping spree ever! School starts tomorrow, so here is the third update, like I promised._

**Chapter 8**

It was the first nightmare I'd had in a month. I had been so tired most of the time that my brain had stopped creating situations for me to fulfill while I was sleeping, but now that I was catching up on sleep, it seemed that my imagination had come back to haunt me. I wondered though, _why now_?

Harry looked at me from across the room. At first confused, then questioningly. He hadn't said anything yet, and neither had I. We sat there for five minutes in an awkward silence, examining each other. He broke the silence.

"Why are you crying?" he whispered. I turned my face away. Tears had been running down my cheeks this whole time, and I hadn't even noticed.

"I'm sorry I woke you up. I'll leave…" I turned to pick up my pillow and stood up a little too quickly. Embarrassment filled me like a glass. Sun peeked through the windows on the far side of the room and ran across the floor. It must have been close to six o'clock in the morning.

"You don't have to leave," he said. "I was just wondering." He turned his attention to the windows. "Where's Ron?" he asked.

It was then that I realized how suspicious this must look. "In my room. Listen, Harry, we traded for the night. It was no biggie, he just wanted—I told him I would sleep here, because you—well you tend to yell at night sometimes." I looked to the door. "I'll go now if you'd like. I'm sorry." I walked to the door and went to the turn the knob.

"Wait. Beth get back in bed and go to sleep. It's almost morning anyways. There," he sighed, "There isn't any point in waking anyone up."

I turned to look at him. "You're not mad?" He shook his head.

I tiptoed back to Ron's bed and placed my pillow on it gently. I couldn't see any other solution to the problem. It seemed pointless to fight his will. I sat down and looked at Harry before lying down and facing the wall again. I pulled the comforter tightly around my body- and over my hideously disfigured face. I sniffed.

"Beth… what do you dream about?" I continued to face the wall and feigned sleeping. He repeated the question, a little more sternly this time. He sounded more like a teacher than a nineteen year old.

I continued to face the wall. "You tell me first," I said. There was a silence.

"Death. My friend's death. Death of my parents, and Voldemort's death. How they're all connected. What my death might be like. Pain… different memories." He rushed through his answer and I heard the mattress squeak as he lay down. "Alright," he said. "Your turn."

I hesitated before speaking. "I dream—I dream about a man, my Father maybe. I dream about," I stopped and burrowed my face into my covers so that my voice was muffled. "I dream about my face being back to normal, and I dream about faceless people. They're mean and then I do things wrong. I can't be right. It hurts." The last part didn't make sense.

"You didn't do anything wrong," said Harry.

"But I did!" I protested. "I can never do stuff— I never could and I was such a bad person…" I trailed off, my head pounding.

The mattress springs from across the room squeaked again, and I pulled the comforter tighter around my head. A small patter of feet on the floor, and then a weight beside me—I pulled the blanket tighter still.

"_I_ made mistakes Beth, not you. I _killed_ people." A hand was rubbing circles on my back now, and it was as if he was having a competition with me. "Who are you Beth? Why are you so sad?"

I pulled my knees up to my chest and ignored the question. My body was sore, and my face throbbed. There were more squeaks from my mattress and an arm snaked its way around my waist. I loosened up a little bit and leaned into the warmth of another person. He allowed me to lean on him, and it was comforting to know someone solid was there. It was funny how sometimes you just fit.

He pulled the blanket off my head, and I let him. The ugly side of my face was upwards and I knew he was gawking at it. I let myself cry some more before I finally closed my eyes and went to sleep.

§

When I woke up Harry was gone.

The sunlight poured through the windows, and I assumed it to be around ten. Remus and I were going out for a wand that day, so I quickly scrambled back to my room where I found my bed nicely made. I pulled on a pair of Ginny's old jeans, and her old black sweater, which I had come to love. I left my hair down since today we were going out. I combed it in a way that it covered part of my face, and if I kept my head down, people might not notice.

At breakfast everyone was acting normal and no one seemed aware of my midnight rendezvous.

"Did you have a nice lie-in dear?" asked Molly. Her purple robe was extremely clean for everything she seemed to do in the mornings. "Ron said that when he walked by your room you had still been sleeping so he closed it and said to let you be."

"That was nice, thanks Ron," I said politely and when Molly turned her back he gave me a sly smile and a wink, and then continued cutting his eggs.

"Now Remus is already up Beth, but he told me to tell you to be ready for eleven o'clock and then you're going to floo down to Diagon Alley." She looked over me. "Are you alright dear, your eyes seem a bit puffy."

"I'm fine Mrs. Weasley. Famished though," I changed the subject to distract her, knowingly aware of her obsession to fatten people up. She immediately hoped to, and grabbed me a plate full of kippers and eggs, beaming at my appetite. As I began to eat Hermione and Ginny bounded into the room, looking altogether quite content with themselves.

"Morning all," said Ginny, grabbing apiece of toast and stuffing it into her mouth. "Mum, can Hermione and I go to Diagon Alley too?"

"Well, I suppose if you ask Remus…"

"Excellent. We'll be gone the day then," said Ginny with a grin. She looked at me and gave me a wink. I smiled back, unsure of her plot. I couldn't tell if she was teasing, or if there was a genuine plan behind her eyes.

"Have any of you seen Harry this morning?" asked Mrs. Weasley. We all shook our heads. "Oh, well you should check for him. I haven't seen him all morning, you said he was still in bed when you got up Ron?"

Ron nodded and chewed thoughtfully. "Yes, it wasn't a good night last night." It was then that I wondered if Ron had walked in on Harry and I. He was just being friendly I supposed, but it would still be an uncomfortable situation to explain.

I finished my breakfast and excused myself. Ron followed closely.

"I don't suppose you saw Harry this morning did you? When I went into our room to wake you up, he was gone, so I'm wondering if he's angry and took off somewhere." He looked anxiously around him.

"No. When I woke up he wasn't there… but Ron, he's not mad. I woke him up last night by accident…" Ron's face dropped. "But he wasn't angry. It was just he was yelling and stuff in his sleep…"

"Oh. Howling was more like it," said Ron. "It sounded like a shrieking banshee, and all the way into morning too. But thank you Beth, I slept way better than I would have."

I coughed into my sleeve. You could just call me the shrieking banshee. "Well, I'm just going to go get ready. If I see him, I'll let him know."

I made my way up the two flights of stairs and wandered into my room. I really didn't have much to do, then Ginny and Hermione came bounding in.

"We're getting money!" exclaimed Hermione excitedly. Ginny thrust the _Daily Prophet _at me, her face jubilant.

" **Reimbursed For Their Pains**

SURVIVORS RECEIVE MONTHLY PENSION 

_Rufus Scrimgeour announced this morning that survivors of the battle against evil will be receiving a monthly income to reimburse them for their efforts and pains._

"_The ministry has been looking at this topic for a while now, and I came to the decision last night that it was a necessity," Scrimgeour said. "Our lives would have not existed if it wasn't for these people who worked so hard. The obvious candidates have already been given an account in Gringott's—that is those who were in St. Mungo's and were registered as being injured underneath the war's name."_

_To read if you are a legible candidate, turn to page B7._"

"After you get your wand, we're going to ditch Remus, and go shopping!" said Ginny as I looked up from the paper.

"How much money do we get?" I asked.

Ginny shrugged. "But it's bound to be loads right? I mean how many of us truly survived and went to that hospital. Almost everyone in this house! It's brilliant!"

Her attitude seemed to have totally changed as she bounced around the room. Hermione nodded. But I had another problem.

"How am I supposed to access my account if I don't know my last name?"

Hermione looked at me. "Well they didn't either right? So if you explain to them the situation they'll probably do a magical scan or something. Security is super tight with people nicking stuff because they lost everything."

"And besides, it's bound to be a load of money, so until you get your memory back, we can pay for it. Quite frankly, I don't care. I just need some new robes and what not, and my hair is looking a little stringy. But I think I'll go to a muggle place for that. We should all go!"

Hermione looked at me. "So are you in?"

Maybe shopping could bring people together, Ginny sure seemed a lot less tense towards me. I grinned. "Of course!"


	9. Chapter 9

_Alright, so I've had about five complaints of short chapters in total through reviews and emails. Erm... I don't quite know what to say other than, I enjoy writing chapters that reveal only a little bit, and I'm afraid that if I write longer, I'll wander off into a random abyss of fact and fiction, and not the point of the chapter. I could combine chapters if you would like, but it would take a long time, and I can't garuntee fast updates. On the other hand, at about chapter fifteen (or is it sixteen?) I've written a ten page chapter which I found tough to seperate, which you'll probably soon predict to be a great, wonderful, evening chapter- I've said to much! So continue on with this double post! I'll probably post Once more before Monday. _

**Chapter 9**

Hermione, Ginny and I walked arm in arm down Diagon Alley. Remus walked behind us. Ginny and Hermione were chattering away, seemingly feeling better than they had been. I was amazed at the shops and busyness of the lane.

Ginny's change in attitude shocked me, and I found myself questioning what she said, did, and implied. I knew she noticed my suspicions, but thankfully, didn't comment on them. I was almost convinced by the better part of the morning, that someone had spoke to her. Every time the topic of Harry came up, she got strangely quiet, or forced a laugh after something truly not funny.

Remus strolled up beside me and pointed to a small packed in shop to my right. I tugged on Hermione's arm and she tugged on Ginny's and we made a sharp right.

I stepped into the shop, dislodging my arm to cover my mouth. It was extremely dusty, and filled with shelves upon shelves overflowing with tiny boxes. A young woman with cropped gold hair and small wire framed glasses stepped out from behind a shelf.

"Hello, welcome to Ollivander's," she said. Her thin lips compressed into a friendly smile. "Which one of you should be needing a wand?" she asked walking forwards.

"Me," I said with a grin. She looked me up and down and made a little thinking noise.

"One moment," she said, and disappeared behind the ten-foot tall bookshelves. I looked at Remus who gave me a nod of encouragement. Hermione and Ginny seemed quiet to my left as I waited.

She came out with four thin boxes, and placed them down ever so gently on the oak desk we were standing behind.

"Try this one. It's Birch and contains a string of Unicorn hair. Nothing to violent mind you," she said eyeing up my face. I knew she was looking at the disfigured part and looked down. She pulled out a wand that seemed a little short. I took it from her long fingers and pointed at the small flower vase in the window.

"_Wingardium Leviosa_!"

Nothing happened. "Erm, _Accio Vase_!"

It was quiet.

"Let's try the next one then," said the lady. "Here this might work, it's twelve inches which is quite a change from the other one. Made of maple, so it's quite flexible. Good for charm work." The wand had expert engravings throughout the handle and something that looked like a string of roses up the shaft.

"_Accio Vase_!" I pointed the medium colored wand at the vase, which made its way half way to me, then disappeared in mid-air.

She walked back to the shelves twice and I went through roughly eight wands, before she disappeared once again after I had shattered the window. Thankfully, Remus fixed it with a swish of his wand by the time she came back.

"Try this," she held up a light colored wand with small flickering markings in the handle. "A mix of ebony and pine, eleven and a half inches. This is a strong one, good for channeling power. A little bit rigid however. Give it a whirl."

I looked around the room, and seeing nothing to cast a spell upon, I came up with another solution.

"_Avis_!" With a pop there was suddenly a small flock of birds fluttering around the room. The small pink birds flew in a circle around my head before disappearing out the open window.

"I think we have a winner!" exclaimed the lady. "That's wonderful. Well, it appears to suit your hand much better I think. I should've looked closer. Your hands are tiny! Essentially it contains a strand of the substance used in a Fairy's wing. It was given willingly and as a result the wand shimmers like it does."

The wand fit comfortably in my hand and felt right. The gold twinkle was hypnotizing. "Thank you," I said. "It's wonderful." She smiled.

"Alright, the total on that comes to nine galleons." Remus stepped forwards.

"Wait for me outside girls. I'll be right there."

Hermione, Ginny and I left the shop and stood underneath the stoop.

"Can I see it?" asked Ginny. I handed it across. She looked at it admiringly. "It's too bad you never met Mr. Ollivander. I think that's his daughter from his second wife. That's what it said in the paper anyway. He gave all of us our first wands." She handed it back.

"What happened to him?"

"Captured by Voldemort—" my stomach knotted, "They used him to make all their wands stronger. He was worked to death. He was a great guy."

It was reminder of the constant guilt that we were alive while so many others were dead. Something tugged at my heartstrings, but other than guilt, I couldn't quite name the feeling. The closest I could come to, was recognition. On that somber note, Remus walked out of the shop, tucking his wallet into his jacket.

"Thank you Remus," I hugged him tight and then presented him the prettiest smile I could.

"No problem. Now, as I understand it you lot would like to get to Gringott's? And then do some shopping?"

We nodded our heads enthusiastically. And Remus proceeded to take us down to the large wizarding bank at the end of the street. I tucked my wand into my back pocket and walked with them.

§

As I had predicted, without a last name I was not allow to withdraw savings from my account. I sat in the front hall in a seating area they had while the other three went in. The break was all right with me, and after seeing them come out, I was glad I had not gone along. Although their purses looked to be bulging at the seams, so did their faces.

"Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick," said Hermione.

"I second that," said Ginny. Remus didn't say anything and his face blanched. I laughed at the sight of them and asked them what next.

"Well, there is a lot of money there," said Ginny. "So let's go spend it!"

Remus gave me a hand and then discreetly handed me a bag of coins. I immediately pressed it back and watched Hermione and Ginny walking forward.

"Take it. It's not charity. When you're able you can pay me back—if you really want to. I don't want you to, but you can. Alright?"

"I-I can't accept it. I don't…" He pressed the bag into my hands.

"I want you to. Go get some things."

Hermione yelled from up the street. "Are you coming Beth?" Ginny stopped and looked too.

I looked from Remus to Hermione and put the small sack into my pocket.

"Fine. But you have to promise to let me pay you back." Remus looked at me.

"Fine. But don't give it to me. It's from Harry."

§

Four hours, three bags and a hair cut later Hermione, Ginny, and I made our way back to Grimmauld Place.

The sensation of apparation was unfamiliar to me, and as I groped for breath when I landed I discovered I had dropped my bags and was on my knees. Ginny was right beside me and we laid on the sidewalk for a moment while Hermione stood above us, her newly layered hair fluttering in the breeze.

"Talk about shop till you drop," said Ginny.

"I don't like apparation," I said. "I feel as if I've been made into a pencil, and then into a human again in a matter of seconds."

Hermione stood for a moment before picking up her bags.

"Come on ladies. It's just up the street." She gave me a hand, and then Ginny. We walked slowly towards the house. Hermione knocked on the door and Molly opened it up.

"Did you girls have fun?" she questioned with a small smile. We nodded our heads. Then she saw Ginny's tresses. "Ginny! What did you do? Your beautiful hair!"

"Relax Mum, it's still there! Just a little shorter!" It was true. Ginny's hair, which _had _been down to her back had been cut into a modern, stylish chin length bob and streaked with a lighter red and blonde. Her bangs sat sideways on her face and it framed her cheeks nicely. I rather liked it.

We all had our hair cut. I had mine styled so that bangs were angled across my forehead, covering up my gash on the left side. I daresay that my hairdresser was much too curious for a muggle, so when I told her I had been in a fire, I found her to be nosy by asking even more questions. However, my hair looked good so I didn't get snappy. I left it long and got it layered. Hermione's had also been cut a little shorter, but was still long enough to tie it into a ponytail.

"Well, it looks good. It just surprised that's all—your hair…" Molly shook her head and opened the door all the way. We walked through the front hallway quietly avoiding waking up Mrs. Black. I had never actually heard her scream, and if she lived up to her reputation, then I didn't want to.

I limped up the stairs and placed my bags in my room, my body sore from movement all day. Hermione and Ginny continued to their room as well, presumably putting their new things away as well.

I placed my three new robes on the few hangers in my closet. My new shirts and pair of jeans, which we had bought at a muggle boutique, I folded nicely in my drawers. My fresh pair of blue and pink trainer's I placed in the floor of my closet, and allowed myself to try on the purple slippers Hermione had convinced me to buy along with my pajama's and undergarments.

I placed all my new personal belongings, such as a pair of earrings, in my top drawer along with some hair elastics, clips, and my old hair brush from the hospital.

A knock came on the door and Ginny walked in. She carried a small bag.

"I bought this by accident," she said. "You should have it."

I opened up the bag and found a small compact of make up inside, as well as some polka-dotted flip-flops. The make-up was tiny, but allowed you to magically refill and choose colors all out of one base. It was entirely too expensive for me to buy at this time, and I had admired it from afar.

"You saw me try these on!" I said holding up the flip-flops, outraged. "You didn't have to do that!"

She grinned mischievously and left the room. I looked at the gift as a peace offering and vowed to find out why she had been so miserable.

However, until I did discover why she had been bitter, I would hold my compact in the top drawer and the sandals beside my trainers.

§

"I'd like you to know that you didn't have to do that."

Harry looked up at me from his bed where he was reading a book on Quidditch, and then turned his eyes back to his book.

"I want it back then," he said.

"I said that you didn't have to do that, not that I didn't use it."

"You got some stuff then?" He turned the page in his book.

"Yes I did. And it's nice stuff. And I got a wand."

"That's good." He looked up and then back at his book. "Nice hair."

"Thank you." There was a pause in the sharp conversation and I leaned on the doorframe. "I'm paying you back as soon as I can. Every single coin, down to the last knut."

"Fine with me."

"Good."

I turned and walked out of the room. _Damn him!_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I found myself introduced to new people this morning as I went down for breakfast a little earlier than usual, excited to show off my new clothes. They were a little bit tighter, and revealed the bandages around my upper body, but I didn't care. It felt nice to have things of my own.

I wore my new jeans and a pink v-neck t-shirt to breakfast, accompanied by a brown wrap sweater. After showering, dressing, and styling my hair with my new products, I walked down the stairs to breakfast. It was only eight o'clock, but I couldn't wait.

Molly was already in the kitchen, making eggs, sausages, and an assortment of muffins. I smiled and grabbed a plate filling it up. I had put on some weight, and didn't mind at all.

"Morning Mrs. Weasley. It looks great." I grabbed a glass of orange juice from the counter and made my way to the dining room. Remus and two other men were sitting there.

"Hello Beth, you're up early this morning."

"I know. I couldn't sleep. Erm… morning everyone." I gave a small wave.

"Oh right," Remus cleared his throat. "Beth, meet Alastor Moody and Kingsley Shacklebolt."

I waved again and gave them a quick look over. Kingsley Shacklebolt was a bald man with gorgeous brown eyes that match his skin. He had a kind, yet rugged face, and was dressed in navy robes. Alastor Moody was a tough looking man with a wide chiseled jaw. One eye had an eye patch over top, while the other was a bright blue, and constantly moving in its socket. A piece of his nose was missing, and assorted scars sat across his face. He frowned at me and turned to his toast.

"Hello Beth. It's nice to finally meet you," said Kingsley. His voice was firm and made me pay attention. I had only seen brief glimpses of these people throughout the last few weeks. Although I knew of their existence, meal times were completely different, and most tried to make themselves scarce. A houseful of teenagers was not the best place to live if you were growing old. Some didn't even live here. Moody, for example, had his own home and everything, but chose to live here because he had no family left. He goes back to his house to clean it up, but eats and sleeps at Grimmauld Place.

"And you too Mr. Shacklebolt," I said politely.

Moody turned to face Remus, placing his back to me. "As I was saying Remus, they just take things, the troublemakers. The nerve of them. Nasty little scoundrels, and then the ministry doesn't do anything about it!"

"But Alastor!" objected Shacklebolt, "With everything else going on, we don't have enough force to take care of situations like this. Because these people abandoned their homes is not our fault! I mean Fudge was a total imbecile, but Scrimgeour is different. And besides, some priorities are more important than others right now."

The heated discussion continued and I ate breakfast in silence, watching these three grown men argue about stealing from abandoned homes. The topic was aggravated for about ten minutes.

"What do you think Beth?" asked Remus. I sat there for a moment stunned that they had asked my opinion. I took a deep breath.

"Well, I think that Mr. Moody is absolutely right in the fact that something has to be done, because it's illegal. But on the other hand, there are way more important things right now like Mr. Shacklebolt said, like finding out the names of all those who," I coughed, "have died and letting their families know. That's a huge job."

"So you're a fence sitter are you? And I can't help but notice that your wand is in your back pocket either. Do you know how many have blown off their buttocks?"

"Erm… no. And," I cleared my throat and spoke up. This Moody guy seemed a little rude, so I finished my answer. "I can't help but wonder if the stuff left behind is so important. I mean, if they had really wanted what was in their house, then why would they just leave it there. A long enough amount of time has passed since the attacks and the battle that if they wanted something they would have gone back for it. Maybe they don't care enough for the stuff they left behind, or I guess we could presume them to be," I gulped, "dead. Couldn't we? It's wrong that people nick it, but maybe there should be a deadline for people to clean out their homes so that way, when the time comes, the ministry could clear them out and hold a charity sale. All the money could go to something—like families who lost close relatives in the war."

There was a short silence before Moody turned and spoke to Shacklebolt and Remus again, pretending I never said a word. I finished eating and got up to carry my plate to the kitchen. I could've sworn I saw Remus wink at me.

§

Around ten thirty I wandered from my room around the house. My healing was slowly coming and I found myself more able and capable of walking longer distances.

I wandered towards the ground floor, peering into an almost empty drawing room, and an ancient bathroom, which appeared to have snakes for doorknobs. At the end of the hallway was a large room with two thin windows on each wall, and a dirty old couch, that at one time may have been white. I wandered in and found it very much to my liking.

Bookshelves lined each wall. The floor to the ceiling was shrouded with books among books. A small candle was sitting on the end table beside the couch.

I quickly left and turned from the collection and went to my room. Throwing on Ginny's old sweats and a second hand pink sweater, I rushed back down to the library, wand in hand. I had recently discovered that the house was enchanted and I could use magic without being detected, not that underage magic wasn't common. During the war rules had been changed, and underage wizards were allowed to use magic in front of muggles if need be.

I walked up to the couch first.

"_Scougify_!" I whispered. The couch, which had looked as though a cat had done business on it, turned a brisk white color. I smiled and worked among the books, cleaning and dusting with rags I had grabbed from the kitchen. I often had to stop when reaching for high shelves as my ribs would object, but I didn't mind. I had found books!

A small flashback occurred, and even though it was small, it was essential. I was speaking to someone, a book in hand, thanking him or her for the present. I was ten.

To my sheer delight, sun began to peek through the windows, and it got warmer in the room. I had lit the candle at the beginning, but blew it out when I discovered that the hole in the wall on the far end was actually a fireplace.

I got on my hands and knees, and began to scrub the soot off the floor. Slowly but surely, a silver mantle began to peek through. Small details, such as vines, were engraved into the shroud surrounding the actual pit. Small, green, diamond shaped tiles were placed delicately in a pattern, into the silver, the engraved designs styled around them. The more I polished, the more excited I became.

To my disclosure, above the fireplace was a mirror. Sitting on the mantle it touched the ceiling, and I had to use magic to clean it. A small scrubbing charm took off the black. I stepped back to admire my work.

The white walls and black book cases were no longer covered in a thick layer of dust, but clean and comfortable. The fireplace was sparkling and the mirror above it shone. I met my reflection and then looked the other way.

I looked longingly at the room for a moment before leaving to clean up. I met no one on my trip to my room, and found it easy to wash and put on clean clothing before going down to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

§

It had taken me the whole day, but at five o'clock I strolled into the room, pleased with what I saw. All the books were gleaming in the sunlight. I strolled to the nearest bookshelf and pulled a book of the shelf at random. The gold lettering on the spine read _Mysteries of the Deep: Magical Creatures of The Sea._

Happy with my choice I settled into the couch, lit the candle, and started to read.


	11. Chapter 11

_Ginny's anger will be explained... soon! And read this chapter closely, it is the beginning of a very long series of events (almost ten chapters actually-- maybe more. I'm not done yet :)). Have a good long weekend everybody!_

**Chapter 11**

I spent a lot of my time in that library for the next few weeks. Survivors in the house were starting to come out from hiding, and although I considered them my friends, I didn't go out with them as much.

There was a slight age difference between me and the rest of them. Being the youngest person in the house, I was often looked upon, people checking in on me often. Their concern for my well being was understandable, but I was surprised at how alone they left Harry. I may have been severely hurt, both mentally and physically, but he had won the battle. He had actually lived through Hell.

Members of the house had come to know the Library as 'Beth's Room.' I had spent so much time in there that they were sure if they placed my bed in there, I would never leave. My memory was also starting to come back. Bits of my childhood and family members faces started to appear out of nowhere. Although my Father's name never came to me, I began to remember exactly what he looked like, and my nightmares got worse. I placed a silencing charm around my room at night, to hide the noise I was making.

The two months I spent there passed slowly, and as we entered July, the household became more active with outside activities. Hermione and Ginny went out a lot more, inviting me along, and although I almost never went, it didn't bother me. Remus had also become more active outside of the house. He assisted the ministry with cleaning up small wizarding communities that had been affected by the catastrophe. It was a grueling job, he said, but it made him happy to see these neighborhoods come back to life.

Ron went out with Hermione more often than before, and while Harry was invited to go out more and more, he, like me, said no. There were functions and awards nights, and different meetings that he was invited to. Everyday his owl—a gold barn owl named Junior—brought him piles of mail, and every day he threw it in the fire.

He became increasingly agitated and bitter, his attitude soaring to an all time low. It was when Arthur had brought home and envelope, he had been sent through the roof.

We had been sitting at dinner, all members of the house including Emmeline Vance, a nice older witch, Shacklebolt, Moody, and every Weasley except Charlie, and Percy (who I had come to know through Fred and George). I had been sitting beside Remus and across from Hermione. Harry was sitting at the opposite end of the table.

"Ah, just the man I was looking for," said Arthur as he walked in. He kissed Molly on the cheek and then put an envelope on the table in front of Harry. Molly placed the turkey in the middle of the table, and Arthur pulled out the chair for her before answering Harry's questioning look.

"It's an invitation. Open it up Harry." He gave him an encouraging smile before sitting down beside his wife.

I watched Harry as he tore at the envelope curiously, and pulled out a single piece of paper. Music started to play—trumpets of some sort. Harry read aloud.

"Mr. Potter, You are invited to the first ever annual Light Evening Banquet. In honor of the defeat of the Dark Lord you are requested to attend as our Guest of Honor. It will be a night of fun and dancing… formal dress… schedule to be sent after reply." Harry stopped reading and looked up. "What the Hell are they playing at?" he asked. The smiles that had made their way onto every one's face disappeared. "What the bloody Hell are they playing at?" he asked again.

"Now Harry, it's a great honor!" said Arthur. His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "I'm not supposed to be telling you this Harry, but there are certain honorable mentions to be had, a certain Order of Merlin?" He coughed and gave a little smile. Nobody said anything.

"I'm not going," said Harry flatly. "No effing way."

"But Harry," said Mr. Weasley, "Without you, there won't be a party…" Harry stood up from the table.

"Excuse me everyone." He turned and marched out of the room. I looked at Hermione who had her head in her hands, Ron rubbing small circles on her back.

"Well dig in everyone," said Molly awkwardly. Arthur stood up and carved the turkey, and the dishes began to be passed around. All that could be heard through supper was the clinking of dishes.

§

"GET OUT!" roared Harry.

"Hey mate, you don't have to go speaking to her like that," objected Ron meekly.

"I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GOING TO THE BLOODY PARTY! GET OUT!"

Someone slammed the door and there was silence. My door was open and I watched a crying Hermione and Ron pad across the landing. Neither of them looked at me.

So far four groups of people had been in and out of his room, and I'd watched all of them walk away, unsuccessful. Remus, Molly and Arthur, and Ginny had all left his room, Harry shouting all the while.

I got up and walked from my room to the library. I picked up my book off the side table, and opened it up to the marker. The picture of the fairy queen looked up at me, before flying off the page and then returning. I continued to read for a good half an hour before I heard footsteps.

Harry walked into the doorway and stopped. "What the eff are you doing here?"

I continued to look at my book, but didn't answer.

"I said, what the eff are you doing here?" he growled.

"It's a free world," I said turning the page. "If you have such a problem with being in the same room with another human being, then you can leave."

He stomped across the room and ripped a book off the shelf before sitting beside me on the couch.

"Don't get on to me about going to the effing party," he said, "because I'm not."

"I wasn't going to. If you don't want to go, that's fine. They're only celebrating your existence, but hey, the glory comes at a price I know. I mean to _actually_ go out and buy a set of robes, show up and eat a free meal in your honor. The nerve of them." The walls absorbed my voice, although the sarcasm could be heard clearly. He had no right to yell at the others that way. He could yell at me, I'd had worse... at least I think I had. I gulped.

"You don't understand." His voice was deadly low, and it sounded more like a growl from some wild animal.

"No, not at all. Quite frankly, I don't see why you wouldn't go. It's the ministry's way of apologizing, they're just not quite sure how to go about it," I said. I closed my book and looked up at him. "They've always been a bunch of misunderstanding jerks if I understand it right, so why would you expect them to leave you alone now?"

He sighed. "I don't know! I just thought that maybe if I got everything over with that maybe they would just eff off." He punched the couch cushion angrily.

"Right, and then you'd go off and live happily ever after? Sweet dreams princess." I glared at him from my spot on the couch.

He stood up, aggravated. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO FACE HIM! YOU DIDN'T! YOU WEREN'T –" he cut himself off.

"You're absolutely right. I wasn't there. I mean, I was just found half dead in the field where it all happened, but I wasn't _really_ there," I said. "I mean, I have this horribly disfigured face, I don't have my memories, and I'll probably never find my family, but you're right. I have nothing to be bitter about compared to you." I stood up. "It's over Harry. Tough luck. You really have to move on." I stood up and walked back to my room.

§

The next two days the house was filled with an eerie silence. It seemed when Harry was mad, the whole house was. Breakfast was also a silent affair. Harry had been taking food in his room, so when he came down the third day after his spat, the room went silent.

"What would you like for brunch, dear?" asked Molly. She smiled kindly.

"Just a glass of juice Mrs. Weasley," said Harry quietly. His voice was hoarse. Everyone looked at him expectantly. I glared.

"I'll go," he said finally. "But just as long as everyone here gets to."

Another stillness.

"Yes!" exclaimed Ron. Everybody looked to him as if he had sprouted tentacles. To my surprise Harry started to laugh. He laughed and laughed until everyone else was snorting into his or her juice. Ron grinned, shrugged his shoulders, and laughed as well.

Harry stood up and looked around the room and the laughing died down. "Anyone up for a quidditch match?"

Ron, Ginny and Bill stood up. "Anyone else?" he asked looking around the room expectantly.

"I'll go," said Hermione dully. "But I can't guarantee a miracle."

"I'll watch," I said. I'd never actually flown a broomstick (at least I thought), but I knew a little about the game from a few of the books I'd read.

"I used to play a little back in the day," said Remus. When Harry cocked an eyebrow he said, "Not any team of course. Your Dad and I used to play for fun Harry." He stood up and followed the group out the door.

§

The orchard behind the mansion was not quite in proportion. Its size was miniscule in comparison to the quadrupled floors of the manor. The trees however, matched the house in age. Tall pines and oak trees were so tall that they drooped at the top.

I sat on the grass, and watched as the six players pushed off the ground. Harry easily looked to be the best, his broom flowing smoothly overtop the air. Ginny also looked comfortable on her broom. Hermione and Remus awkwardly struggled for a few minutes before gaining control, and Ron and Bill were giving each other small glares from across the yard—sibling rivalry at its best.

They played only with the quaffle, and assigned a keeper to each side. Ron and Bill took the positions, and Harry played alongside Remus while Ginny and Hermione teamed up.

I sat in the sun, watching them contentedly. After about an hour I lay down and closed my eyes, the lazy sunlight felt good on my ribs.

I was in a dark room, pictures of me as a child pasted on the walls around me. My Father stood close by, lecturing me.

"I raised you," he was saying, "and this is the way you repay me?" He started to yell and I changed rooms, now in a cage. I tried to scream but nothing came out. The lock on the cage door was tripled bolted, and I couldn't escape. People were laughing at me, but I couldn't see them. I started to panic, the cage bars closed in on me, threatening to squish me, but they stopped inches short of my body. I was trapped so tight I couldn't move. Out of nowhere a mirror was in front of me. I was naked and disfigured. My body wasn't white, but red and bloody, and my face was ten times worse.

I pushed against the mirror, praying for it to break or disappear. I didn't look like that! Not me! I pushed and pushed until my fingers bled and throbbed. I closed my eyes, avoiding my repulsive reflection.

"Beth!" someone yelled.

"I can't see you!" I screamed. "Help me out! I can't see you!"

"Open you eyes," the voice said, an evil cackle to it. " Open them!"

"I can only see me!" I screeched! "I don't want to! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

I was suddenly seeing the clear sky. It was a dream. Just a dream. I sat up. No one had seen me fall asleep. They continued to play into the afternoon, and I watched, brooding over my dream. I didn't know what it meant, and I had a feeling I never would. It was just a dream.

When they touched down, everyone was glistening in sweat. Apparently Ginny's team had won. Hermione and Ginny walked up to me;

"Girl's rock!

Boys eat snot!"

I laughed. "How original," I said.

"It's the truth," said Ginny. "You can't beat the truth." She gave me a sweaty hand, and pulled me to my feet. I brushed the grass off my pants, and walked with them back into the house.


	12. Chapter 12

_This is by far one of my favorite chapters! It answers lots of the questions you've all been asking me, and makes way for new ones, so enjoy!_

**Chapter 12**

June tenth. There was one week until the party, and the women of the house began to realize it.

There were frequent trips to Diagon Alley for products and accessories. We had all been into Madam Malkin's the one week prior to be fitted for dress robes. Mine had been paid for by an unknown source, although I had a good suspicion as to who did it.

Hermione and Ginny and I had proceeded afterwards to buy accessories to accompany our formal robes. The giggling that accompanied our trip into _Cornelia's Crystal and Jewelry Shoppe _was increased at the price of the items, which were also anonymously paid for.

When there was a mysterious bustle in the middle of the night prior to the big day, everyone was up and rushing to the landing.

Bill flew down the stairs, fully dressed.

"What's going on?" asked Ron, his voice dangerously low.

He stopped and looked. "Ron, go wake Ginny. Charlie's up."

§

I sat in the den above the kitchen. A small fire was going in the fireplace where Hermione, Harry and I sat, each with a cup of tea and a blanket. I stared into the embers, urging the fire to take the form of a face.

"Do you think he's okay?" asked Hermione quietly.

"I do," said Harry.

Everyone else had gone back to bed, muttering about not being able to do anything until the morning. The Weasley's were all at the hospital, and we awaited their call. Without notice there was a 'pop' and Kreacher appeared to Harry's left.

"Hello Kreacher," said Hermione kindly.

"Stupid mudblood," whispered Kreacher. "Kreacher was wondering if Master would like a drink?" he said a little more loudly. He held up a teacup, which appeared to be filled with a moldy drink of some sort. Instantly the smell reached my nostrils and I started to cough.

"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU STUPID THING!" roared Harry. He bounced up from the floor where we were sitting, and went to grab him. Kreacher disappeared with another 'pop'.

"Harry, don't," said Hermione softly. The attempt to ease Harry of Kreacher was half-hearted however, and she turned away to stare into the fire.

"I'm sorry he said that Hermione," said Harry. He sat back down and wrapped the blanket tightly around himself. For a moment all that could be heard was the crackling of the wood. Harry prodded it with a poker and the small tent of wood collapsed upon itself. The flame burned brighter.

"Would it be rude of me to go get a book?" I asked almost inaudibly. Hermione looked at me and faintly shook her head.

"I think I'll come with you."

I stood up alongside her and then turned to Harry. "Want anything?" He shook his head.

As we walked into the hallway to the library, Hermione began to talk.

"The Weasley's are his family. I'm surprised he didn't go with them. They looked after him. When he was in the last task of the Triwizard Tournament, it was Mrs. Weasley who was there to greet him and hug him, and wish him good luck. When Sirius died, they watched over him until he healed the best they could." She let out a dry laugh. "This is destroying him inside. He's lost so many people Beth. When Neville was murdered, I think that affected him the most. Bellatrix Lestrange tortured him, like she tortured his parents. You know where he was when he was supposed to be in bed healing Beth? He was at Neville's bedside. He sat with him until he died, and when I told him he should go back to bed, he told me that no one should die alone."

We turned the corner into the library. "When Neville died, I think he waited on you, you know that?" I stopped and looked at her. "It's true," she continued, " when Neville died, he started sitting at your bedside like he sat at Neville's. He became… obsessive. When he heard you had no family—or at least you couldn't remember, he was drawn to your room everyday. You probably didn't know it because you were sleeping all the time. We all thought you were going to die, and then you lived. That's," she paused and took a breath. "That's why Ginny was so angry I think. She thought that if you died, then Harry might too. She," Hermione looked the other way. "Don't take this personally Beth, but Ginny thought it was your fault it took him so long to recover. She thought he healed at pace with you. When you were clinging to live physically, he was too, only in a different sense," she pointed to her head. "He was dying up here. And then you lived, and so did he. I think you were his sign of hope."

She turned and walked to the bookshelf, running her hands along the spines of the thousands of books. I didn't know whom she was talking about, but it made sense in a small way. I withdrew a book from the shelf opposite her without looking at the title. She drew up her wand from her belt on her pajama pants.

"_Lumos_!" she whispered. She walked along the shelf reading the names of books until carefully withdrawing one from the top most shelves.

She looked at me, her tears a little watery.

"I hope I didn't scare you just then. I just," she let out a long sigh. "I just couldn't handle seeing him hurt again. So don't you go do anything to yourself!" She wagged her finger at me jokingly.

I held up my right hand. "Promise."

§

We waited in front of the fireplace for the next three and a half hours. Within two Hermione had given into temptation and had fallen asleep, sprawled out on the floor. I concentrated on my book, but in truth I hadn't turned the page in an hour. I had moved to Hermione's other side, so that she had more room, and therefore was in-between her and Harry.

He hadn't moved once. His body was still hunched over, his eyes motionless, staring into the embers. I felt that if I moved I would disturb the balance, so I also remained stationary. My butt had gone numb a good time ago, and I was glad my wand wasn't sitting in my butt pocket, but holding my book open.

We didn't say a word between us, Harry and I. We sat unspoken, and immobile. The silence wasn't stressed however, just impatient. If I had made conversation, I'm sure he would've responded. I didn't though, because I knew the conversation would've been forced.

Harry had looked after me to replace his loss. That was my conclusion. He didn't truly like me; I was a project. When he had held me those few weeks ago, he had done it as a friend, comforting a friend, and nothing more. I was okay with that, _wasn't I_? My eyes glazed over the words in my book. Ginny was right to be angry I supposed. But how could I trust her, knowing that if I was to get sick, he might, and she could turn on me completely. Were her acts of kindness just that; or were they forgiveness gifts, for the past and possibly the future. I read the same sentence for the tenth time when there was a spark. My head shot up as did Harry's.

My stomach dropped as I saw Arthur's head in the fire. He gave us a small grin.

"Been sitting there the whole time have you?" I didn't move, afraid my left butt cheek might fall off.

"He'll be fine."

After those three words were spoken I realized that I had stopped breathing. Beside me Harry had let out a long slow breath.

"The healer's say that he can come home next week. They just have to run some tests, but he'll be alright." Arthur's face looked old and weathered. "We are going to floor in the next few minutes, so unless you want to be squished, I'd suggest you move." His face disappeared and we remained still.

"We should move Hermione," I said. My voice was scratchy from lack of use. My friend was still spread out across the hard floor, a blanket thrown hastily on top of her.

Harry stood up slowly, although showing no signs of pain from sitting in one position for so long.

"I think my butt cheek is going to fall off," I said softly. He looked at me as if realizing I was still there and pulled me up with a small mocking smile. I pulled away from him quickly, feeling awkward at his touch. I picked up my book and wand, placing them gently on the table next to the worn couch.

Harry toddled over to Hermione and picked her up, carefully placing each arm underneath her neck and knees. He lifted her as if she was a rag doll and placed her on the threadbare couch. I covered her with the blanket, and tucked it around her shoulders.

Sure enough, within minutes the Weasley Clan was in the living room. Molly was sniffling and Bill looked a little grim. Ginny was leaning on Ron and he helped her take off her coat. She stumbled, eyes half closed, and gave Harry a small smile before being lead up to bed by Ron. I watched her, unsure of how I felt.

Arthur and Molly also left the room, not saying a word, but merely holding hands. Bill said good night and followed his parents out. Fred and George had come back to the house with their family, and had walked up to Harry and I to put in a quick word before going to the spare room designated with two beds for their use in the basement.

"He's a little bit shaky and confused, but overall he seems to be alright. Any of the painful healing that needed to be achieved was done while he was sleeping, so physically he's fine."

It's the brain he's going to have a bit of trouble with," finished Fred.

George gave a kind smile. "I think we shall make our way to bed—"

"Good night—"

"Sleep tight—"

"Don't let the bed bugs bite!"

The two of them leaned towards the door, giving Ron a small hug as he walked back into the room.

"I've got to get Hermione," was all he said, and Harry and I got out of the way. Ron levitated her up the flight of stairs to her bedroom, and I leaned heavily on the railing for support as we moved. My exhaustion started to kick in, and although I had regained feeling in my bottom and legs, I still found it hard to walk.

I stumbled on the top most step and let out a little gasp. I flailed my arms trying to catch onto something when something caught onto me. Harry proceeded to stand me erect and allow me to lean on him the rest of the way. I wanted to pull away, but found myself much too tired to do it. I was his project, I reminded myself, but it seemed my brain didn't connect to my heart. When I reached my room I expected him to depart in the direction of his, but to my surprise he assisted me by sitting me on my bed, taking off my slippers, and tucking me in. His hands brought the bedclothes up around my shoulders, and I was instantly warm.

"Night," he whispered, and walked out.


	13. Chapter 13

_Wow! The amount of angry emails I recieved for killing off Neville was crazy! But I thank you for not putting the flames with my reviews. Anyways, now that you know what Ginny is up to (or was up to, which ever way you look at it), you can watch for it. I can't garuntee anything, but pay close attention! xoxo_

**Chapter 13**

When morning rolled around, I found myself struggling to leave my bed. It was so warm, and we didn't have to leave until six o'clock that evening. I rolled over and went back to sleep—or so I thought I would.

The door slammed open and Ginny bustled in. I looked at her differently. Had she really thought that I would have killed Harry if I had died? I didn't understand why it bothered me so much. If I had died, I would have never known. But that wasn't the point. I was very much alive, and this girl thought I could've been a murderer. I shook my head. I wasn't going to treat her differently I decided. Just proceed with caution.

"My robe has gold on it! I asked her for silver! They came this morning and there's gold on the red!"

I sat up and threw my feet over the side of the bed. "So? It's probably still gorgeous."

"But I bought _silver_ jewelry!" She sighed exasperatedly. "Now I either wear clashing jewelry, or we return the silver and go back to the store this morning."

I didn't answer. "Where's Hermione?"

"Fawning over her robe. It is gorgeous, but she's afraid it might be wrinkled," she wiggled her nose as if her problem was mountainous compared to that.

"Can't you charm it silver?" I asked, walking over to my closet. I pulled out a pair of trousers and a sweater. I walked back to the bed and changed while Ginny paced my room. "You're going to make a hole in my floor."

She stopped and looked at me. "Why aren't you upset? Oh right, because your robe is _perfect_." She snorted. "Come with me to Diagon Alley this morning! Please!"

"Fine," I sighed. Why wasn't she making Hermione come too? She seemed to know what I was thinking.

"Hermione's robe is crème right? Well Ron's robe is a dark red. Almost black, but not quite. And it clashes. So they're trying to charm it darker so that it is black and then Mum offered to put some stuff on it so it ties in with Hermione's."

"Did mine turn out alright?" I asked. I had managed to brush my hair into a messy bun before Ginny grabbed my arm.

"Oh! You haven't seen it! It's so pretty…" At that moment I realized how badly I wanted to try it on, no matter what it looked like. "I have an idea!" said Ginny. "You can't see it!"

I looked at her outraged. "What? Why?"

"It should be a surprise." She grinned mischievously, and bolted out of the room and down the stairs. I raced after her to the best of my ability before realizing there was no way I'd catch up. When I got into the kitchen Molly and Ginny were laughing.

"Oh come on Ginny!" I said. "Let me see it!"

"You have to come to Diagon Alley with me first, and then I want to dress you up! You won't see yourself until it's done!"

I put on a pout. This was just another example of being looked after as the youngest person in the house. "Fine. But Hermione has to be apart of this too. And I get to do your hair without you seeing."

Ginny smiled and gave me a mock salute. "Aye aye, sir."

That's Ma'am to you," I joked.

"We'll take the floo. Is that alright Mum?"

Molly sighed. Her hair was in curlers underneath a large net, and she was wearing her robe. "Fine," she said. "I really don't see the big deal Ginny, it's going to sparkle all the same."

"You'd never understand!" said Ginny. I downed a glass of pumpkin juice before Ginny grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the fireplace room. She grabbed some powder out of the jar and tossed it into the fireplace. The flames turned green and she stepped in.

"Cornelia's Crystal!" she shouted. In a small 'swoosh' she was gone. I repeated her actions, and landed in the hearth of the sparkling shop. Small examples of jewelry that could be bought were framed on the walls. Jewelry could be rented and so pictures of famous witches and wizards were beside the samples. I looked shortly at a wizard with golden locks and a gorgeous smile. He was waving in his baby blue robes and holding up a picture of himself on a magazine cover. Ginny grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the front corner—the fireplace was in the small entrance room.

"I bought this about a week ago, and I haven't worn it, but I got my robes today and it doesn't match! Can I trade it in? I need gold, not silver!" Ginny pushed her container onto the desk the lady was standing behind. The little lady covered in jewels at the front desk gave her a toothy smile.

"Of course, of course. This is for the big dinner is it not? Of course…" After grabbing the silver, she disappeared from behind the desk, and opened the door into the show part of the shop. My eyes were struck by the sheer reflection of light. I had been in here before of course, but never actually bought anything other than a set of white pearl drop earrings for my robes.

Ginny rushed over to the counter on the far side and examined the section labeled gold.

"What color are your robes?" asked the sparkly lady I presumed to be Cornelia.

"Red. But not an orange red, it's a blue red. And it comes down like this," said Ginny. She made a motion around her neck to where the heart shaped neckline sat. "But it has long sleeves. It's like they were sewn onto a strapless dress."

"I see…" Cornelia made a humming noise before saying "Aha!" She reached through the glass (literally; her hand went right through it), and withdrew a rather large pink box, which had not been on display, but closed. She opened it up and I gasped. The necklace was gorgeous.

The gold necklace was not on a chain, but rather connected by thick links. It sat it in a fixed position on the velvet cushion, and although it was an inanimate object, it seemed to have a life of it's own. A large ruby sat in the direct center of the necklace and was surrounded by little black flecks of onyx stone.

"It's perfect," whispered Ginny.

"Get it Ginny. You'll never find another one like it," I said into her ear.

"Right, Cornelia, I'll take it! I just need a set of earrings, but they should be small you know…" she trailed off into conversation with Cornelia explaining the way her robes were styled and how she was going to do her hair. I wandered off, looking at all the jewelry, but discreetly looking for the toilets.

I saw a sign at the back of the store and took a last look a Ginny who hadn't noticed me not being there. I used the washroom and when I came out, Ginny was carrying a small, brown paper bag, obviously containing her jewelry. I approached her and saw her wink at Cornelia and let out a little laugh.

"Wonderful! I love it thank you so much!"

"No problem my dear, no problem at all. Just make sure to mention where you got it now," said Cornelia.

"Will do," said Ginny. "We must be going now. Thanks again!" I gave Cornelia a smile before following Ginny into the entrance and flooing back home.

§

The house was a bustle of activity. Arthur had home early from work to prepare for the occasion. The twins and the rest of the Weasley family were in the house getting ready. Remus had been pacing the house dangerously quick, and I made him sit down.

"Are you nervous?" I asked him.

He gulped. "A little bit. You see, I couldn't get a date, and…" he seemed stressed.

"Remus, it'll be fine."

Quite frankly, I had my own problems to deal with. I hadn't seen my robes yet, and had a feeling I wouldn't until Ginny and Hermione let me. We were all walking around in our house robes, prepping for the big night. I didn't have a date, much less a plan for that evening, and the truth was I had never been to a dinner as fancy and populated as this would be… that I recalled anyways.

About three hours prior to our leaving, Hermione, Ginny and I took over the bathroom on our floor. We locked the door from the inside, and if there was a knock, we never heard it.

Music was coming from a small radio I had hung on the doorknob, and Hermione and I attacked Ginny first. After blacking out the mirror, Hermione and I styled Ginny's hair and did her make-up. Although I had not seen the dress, Hermione had and directed the facial part while I the hair.

I straightened Ginny's little bob, and used a shining serum to get rid of the frizz. When Hermione approved, I added a small glittering clip to the right side of her head. A real rose had been glossed for this purpose and it was pinned there and held quite well. Her bangs were side swept and angled a little bit over her eye for a mysterious effect. Her eyelids had been darkened and her cheeks lightened. Happy with the result I urged her to get up and we worked on Hermione.

This time, I did the makeup, making sure to highlight her beautiful eyes. A delicate shade of rose was placed over her lids while Ginny swept her hair up into a delicate bun atop her head. Stray pieces of hair were curled and styled, and a white rose was pinned into the knot. She flushed with delight when we told her we were done and urged me to sit down in the _designer_ chair.

For almost a half hour I sat there, as they worked mostly on my hair. Different goop was applied and I felt its weight as it was released around my face. Ginny giggled at one point and I was afraid they might've done something dangerously close to magical to my head. When Hermione assured me I looked fine I let them continue. When they did my face Hermione requested to try out a new powder on the scarred side of my face. I let her, and sat patiently as she brushed and powdered my face.

"You can't even tell can you Ginny?" she asked finally.

"Wow. I'm impressed. Where did you get that stuff? I want it the next time I get a zit!" Ginny exclaimed. I got up and they grabbed me by the shoulders. You can't look yet!" said Ginny.

A knock at the door knocked my radio to the ground.

"Twenty minutes girls!" came Mrs. Weasley's voice from the other side.

"Mum? Can you bring our robes?"

A few footsteps later a set of dresses was being handed through the door. Ginny grabbed the dark bag containing mine before I could.

"We're dressing you!" she said.

"I don't know how I feel about that…" I said uncertainly.

"Oh, please!" said Hermione. Fully aware of the joke, she proceeded to take the bag from Ginny and hang it on the shower bar.

"Fine." I was almost grouchy, but was having too much fun to get that way.

I helped Hermione slip into her dress. It was a beautiful crème color and accented her brown hair wonderfully. It slipped off her shoulders slightly in a modern robe fashion, but had a round neckline, which showed off her tiny upper body. It sparkled when she moved and she wondered about un-blacking the mirror.

Ginny's dress was quite opposite from Hermione's sophisticate one. Although it had a Spanish twinge, it was outgoing and fiery. The heart shaped neckline revealed a bit much, and I was sure her brothers would object. From her waist down it was styled more after a muggle dress with a bit of a poof. She grinned and allowed me to put on her gold necklace, which glistened even in the pale light of the bathroom, and although none of her other jewelry was amazingly glittery, it balanced nicely.

I turned around and undressed as ordered and waited for the gasps of shock. Most of the bruises on my body were gone, but the gashes remained and I needed to re-bandage them.

Ginny and Hermione didn't say a word and helped me wrap the bandages skintight so the wouldn't be seen through my robes. I wanted to object, but was to embarrassed to do so. I didn't want to be the one to break the silence. After that was done they started to chatter again, helping me slip on my robes blind folded. The fuss for this was rather extreme I thought, but I didn't object. With a final zipper it was done. I went to remove my blindfold and found the girls objecting.

A cool string weaved it's way around my neck.

"What is that?" I asked.

"You'll see," said Ginny. The guided me over to the black mirror and removed my blindfold.

"Ginny?"

"I'd be my honor. _Scourgify_!"


	14. Chapter 14

_Alright, so here's the deal, if I receive a grand total of 50 reviews (that's only six for this chapter) by Sunday, I'll update Monday night. If not, I'm going to wait until Wednesday because I have fallen a bit behind, but I'm really excited to post the next chapter because... I love it!_

**Chapter 14**

My reflection shocked me.

I was standing in-between two gorgeous girls, but it wasn't me I was sure. The first thing I noticed was that I was a good head shorter that both of them, and while each had an extravagant exquisiteness or flare, I appeared a little bit plain. I erased the thought from my mind—I was younger, and had yet to gain the little sparkle they had. It was then that my mind set had changed. I looked beautiful.

My robes were pale blue velvet, and sparkled when I moved, the tiny stones sewn into the fabric. The sleeves went down three quarters of the way down my arm. The neckline was in a 'V' shape and almost proceeded in a wrap style down to the bottom of my ribs where it was cut off by a crème colored strap. A small satin bow sat a little off center on the strap and glittered, covered in stones. From the contour down it was merely material and flowed straight to the floor. It didn't have a poof like Hermione's, and wasn't as stunning as Ginny's, but it suited me just fine. A slit made it's way up to my mid thigh on the left side, making me slightly self-conscious.

I looked up to my face. With glittering stones throughout, my hair sat upon my head like a doll. Small ringlets framed my cheekbones, not one left untouched. A minute clip had been set on the side of my head, supporting a blue tropical flower. My golden (not quite blonde) hair was very shiny and not one piece of hair strayed. My face looked almost normal, and the only evidence of my wounds was the small pale blue shadow of the scar ran from my temple to my mid-cheek, the make-up's only flaw. The bruises were gone, the small gashes had disappeared, and my bangs covered up the purple gash on my forehead. My eyes shimmered; a pale white and pink placed across the lids and my lashes took their time to get down to my cheeks when I blinked.

"Oh my gosh."

Hermione stood beside me, the image of the perfect bride. Her shoulders sat firm, square, and visible, and she was happy with the results. The white rose pinned in her hair gave her poise. Like me, she also sparkled, and the satin on her dress shimmered with movement, epitomizing her beauty. Ginny to my right was making faces in the mirror.

"I look like an exotic gypsy!" she exclaimed. "A Spanish gypsy!" It was true. Her breasts were pushed up in an old fashioned style, and the rock that hung around her neck gave her a look of power. A daring red rose clipped into her shiny bob topped off the perfect package.

"Beth?" Hermione looked at me. I was still staring at my reflection, entranced by my crazy revelation. "Can you speak? Don't pass out or anything, cause... well it would be a bloody waste."

Hearing Hermione use bad language brought me back to earth and my face broke into a small grin. "Thank you." In my state of shock, I had trouble speaking those words even if there were only two. It was then that I noticed the shimmering on the skintight cuffs. An extravagant design glittered silver, but was so tiny you could only see it in the direct light. It was a difficult design to decipher, but I discovered it to be small flowers.

Ginny and Hermione hugged me from either side, then started to chatter about how nice they looked. I stood remaining, and saw the necklace.

"This isn't mine," I said tugging at it with my satin-gloved hands. A set of white pearls sat around my neck, and evenly set between each side was a petite square blue gem, outlined in silver.

"Erm, when you went to the loo this morning, I bought it. I had some extra credit towards the store when I returned my other silver necklaces because she charged me less. She knew that we were going to be with Harry tonight, so she charged me a little less for the publicity. I thought it matched your earrings." Ginny shrugged as though she though nothing of it. Other than my disfigured face, I thought myself to be the perfect picture of elegance.

§

Molly, Hermione, Ginny and I all walked into the dining room where everyone was waiting. A group of people I didn't recognize on a first name basis stood at the back of the room. I assumed these to be the invisible members of the house—those who I heard about, but never saw. A witch in midnight blue robes turned from the conversation with Moody and another man I didn't know at the back of the room to look at us. The room was quiet for a moment and all eyes were on us.

"Well don't you ladies look pretty," said Arthur. He stepped out from a shadow to the left and gave his wife a kiss. Molly blushed, her purple, frilly robes floating around her. Her hair had been done up with a butterfly clip the same color of her dress and she seemed content pretending to be a little girl. Arthur smiled and adjusted the collar of his robes, black with a stylish purple gem design around the cuffs—matching his wife's dress.

Ginny walked in front of me and did a little twirl, her face radiant. I watched as Bill, George, and Fred, who had been standing together, jaws drop. A combination of shock and overprotection kept them from speaking in outrage over Ginny's robes. She waltzed across the room to speak to her parents, absolutely glowing.

I followed in quietly, my face towards the ground. I had no parent's to hug, and stood along the wall. Remus walked up to me and gave me a hug.

"You look prefect," he said with a smile. I looked up at his old face and smiled. His chocolate brown robes gave him the slight appearance of a monk, and I had only withdrawn that mental image when he turned and where his breast pocket should've been sparkled a small, embroidered "R.L.". A gold sequence around his left arm sleeve was the only further evidence of formal wear.

I watched as Hermione strolled into the room, her robes glittering a gorgeous white. She smiled a beautiful smile and made her way over to Ron. His black robes garnished with a crème bow brought the couple together. He kissed her hand like a gentleman, and proceeded to place a necklace around her bare neck.

Conversation made it's way back into the room and I waited for the announcement that we had to leave. Fred and George seemed to glitter more than the ladies, and by looking at the two of them together I was blinded. I couldn't even have guessed at the color of their robes. They wore extravagant top hats which each had a bow tied around; Fred's was orange, George's was a lime green. Bill stood beside them, his eyes still on Ginny as she moved around the room and chatted with various people, his eyebrows knitted together. His robes were black and embroidered with a green embellishment along the front.

I watched the room's constant flutter of activity, and then Harry walked in.

"The man of the hour!" exclaimed a wizard from my left.

He was dressed in black from head to toe, and like Remus, the only ornamentation on his robes were pastel gems around where his breast pocket should've been, and the cuffs. His hair looked like normal, as if he had made no effort to appear above the standard.

"Well, everyone's here," said Remus. "We should get going."

"On with the show!" exclaimed the same wizard who announced Harry's presence. Everyone began to shuffle towards the door, and I found myself caught up in the crowd of people getting there.

We made our way through the front door, shuffling along quietly so as to not wake up Mrs. Black, whose curtains were floating in and out, as if she was snoring.

The cool early evening air felt good on my face as I was moved into the third ministry car in the line. I sat down beside Remus and the window. Moody and Shacklebolt sat beside Remus, and another rather short wizard beyond that.

The ride their was quiet, except for the small talk made by the tiny wizard who I came to know as Dedalus Diggle.

"Remus," I said softly, as not to disturb the quiet atmosphere, "Where exactly is it being held?"

"You'll know it when you see it," said Remus, his face lit up with a broad smile. "Just wait! I've only ever been there once, but the outside is stunning." He laughed. "It's too bad that muggles only see it to be a run down gas station, because from an architectural point of view, it could be an eighth wonder of the world for them."

There was chatter for the rest of the ride, and I counted streetlights as we drove passed. I fingered my necklace puzzled. I knew Ginny hadn't have had credit. The necklace she bought was much too expensive for her to afford. It didn't make sense. As I reflected I began to think that maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe Ginny had done it on the encouragement of Hermione, or possibly of her own accord as a kind gesture. Too nice in my opinion, but like I had thought, maybe I was just paranoid.

"Did you know pearls represent teardrops?" asked Moody gruffly. I turned and look at him on the opposite end of the seat. It was a rather poetic thing to say from such a hard man, and I knew he wasn't finished.

"No," I said carefully, "I didn't."

"It's ruddy peculiar. You're wearing a lot of them now aren't you?" His china blue eye found me in mid roll. "Bad luck girl. To wear something that represents such grief…"

Remus patted my shoulder. "I think they're beautiful, teardrops or not." Moody grunted in acknowledgement although I knew him to be stubborn, and probably assuming me to be a bad luck charm. I frowned and stuck a piece of hair in my mouth, a new habit I'd come accustomed too and chewed on it in a weary enthusiasm. The anticipation for such a large event had finally made its way down to reality, and I was starting to get nervous. My foot twitched, and my ears burned hot.

I waited anxiously, my heart pounding in my throat the rest of the excruciatingly long ride. I was afraid of messing up, or making a fool of myself, but when we turned the final corner, I found my worries faded. The prominent, striking, and royal looking structure to my left seemed to come alive in the twinkle of dusk.

The car turned into the breezeway of the palace, and the door was opened for me. I stepped out, and found all my fears evaporated.


	15. Chapter 15

_Sorry the last chapters have been fillers, but it's a bit for anticipation and effect, although I'm not quite sure if it was that, or just superficial and boring. I've tried my best... Anyways, read on carefully._

**Chapter 15**

I had only briefly glimpsed the outside of the aged, marble palace before being whisked inside. On the red carpet leading in I tripped over my flat shoes, and only revolved to find camera's flashing at my stumble. I blushed and watched my feet; breathing heavily and silently chanting "left, right, left, right…"

Hermione and Ginny walked close behind me, waving and smiling to the cameras, which were held back by a velvet rope. I held my small clutch tightly to my side and gave a small smile as I walked up by myself. Without word Harry slipped to my left. Cameras started flashing dramatically fast as he offered me his arm.

I looked at him crossly, and accepted only after I decided that he was being a gentleman, although deep down I knew that not to be the truth. He was concerned for me, I could see it, and it made me hate him. I didn't want to embarrass him in front of this huge crowd by turning him down, but the fact that he was holding my arm out of pity made my stomach boil with rage.

He stopped and I stopped with him. I watched as he allowed himself to smile a little bit and wave, and I copied his actions.

He leaned to whisper in my ear. "If you don't let them know that you're happy, there will be a story about your depression in the paper the next day." He straightened up—his stature was much taller than mine—and smiled for a few minutes more before proceeding past the marble columns, yellowed with age. I stepped with him over the threshold into wide hallway.

Three chandeliers hung down and coatrooms were on either side. Boys my age were standing alert, waiting for a customer to come calling. Above the coatrooms were thousands of portraits, all the way up to the round ceiling, which had small baby cupids, scampering around of them. The portraits were talking to each other and gossiping, and I distinctly heard Harry's name mentioned several times.

As we walked down the aisle there was a familiar silence of admiration. I felt compelled to look towards the ground, but held my head high, as if I didn't require Harry's arm to not stumble; although in truth I did. I was so nervous that I was trembling, and I knew Harry could feel my fingers shaking. He gave them a tight squeeze before steering us into the double set of doors at the end of the hallway.

I almost let out a gasp at the grandness of it.

The ceiling seemed never ending, and the chandeliers that hung every five feet, seemed to be suspended from mid-air. Above us the night sky was twinkling and filled with activity, planets and stars and anything else that might be floating moved about. The walls were extremely old, and the stylish wallpaper, which seemed to have been there a long time, was enchanting. Although at some points it was peeling, it told a story on yellowed paper, its truthfulness not to be certain. The animated drawings moved in a pattern on each panel, moaning or crying or rejoicing something or another.

I heard George, Fred and Ginny from behind me, gasping and pointing unashamed. I was too afraid to look back at their reactions for fear of tripping. Harry appeared to take no offense to my gawking and allowed a smartly dressed house elf to lead us to the designated table for out party. We were separated into round tables dressed in smart silver ware and covers. We were seated up near the front of the room by a stage that I had not noticed until that point.

It was extravagant, and was lined with different types of sparkling stones. Once again, masterful drawings lined the bottom like the walls.

I sat down in a chair pulled out by a house elf, and tucked myself in. Harry sat to my right, and Hermione sat to my left. Beside her was Ron, then the rest of the Weasley clan excluding Mr. And Mrs. Weasley. All the adults had taken seats in the tables located on either side of us.

There was no press inside, so I found myself more at ease to know my every movement wasn't being watched. After our entrance, the place began to fill up quite quickly—more so than it already was! The vast amount of wizards and witches in the room made it hum with magical energy, and I found myself excited to be apart of it.

I met different people throughout the night, standing in Harry's shadow. One Gilderoy Lockhart seemed a little dazed by the elegance of the situation, and was continually asking people if they would require his autograph. Harry spoke quietly with men that appeared at least twenty years older than he, and I found myself wandering off.

After an hour of mingling and drinking the room seemed to be packed to full capacity, and everyone found someone to talk with, or to. I mainly hung along with Ginny, who was "Guy Scoping".

"I don't know…" she said frustrated through a plastic smile. "When I was with Harry, I felt great, but it was just… too high maintenance. I mean, it was great, but sometimes I got sick of all his problems. And besides, when we fought—which wasn't often mind you—he would retort with something like 'and who saved your life?' It was just to obligatory you know?" She waved to a handsome man who was easily ten years older.

"So you don't have anything for Harry?" I asked softly.

"I like him, but he's too brotherly you know?" she lowered her voice. "I've seen him naked."

I looked at her in shock and she giggled. "It was an accident of course. He was walking from the bathroom in a towel, and Kreacher appeared, insisted the towel was dirty, and ripped it off him. I was standing in the hallway waiting my turn for the bathroom, and didn't look away in time. In that moment I knew it would never happen. I've seen every one of my brothers in their underwear, or walking around in a towel, but not ever, have I seen one of them naked… except Ron. When we were little we played a lot more, and he liked to run around all willy-nilly. Anyways, that's not the point. If we ever got to," she coughed, "that point, the magic would be gone! He was too comfortable. And besides, everyone of my brother's adore him, and he's already so part of the family." She stuck her tongue out.

"I can't say I truly see the problem, but I won't object to your reasons," I said.

"So are you going to go out with him?" she asked bluntly.

I flushed furiously and looked towards the ground. "Probably not."

Ginny looked at me, her face in a pointed pout. "Why not?"

"He seems great. Really!" I objected as she caught me sneaking a peak at him across the room. "But honestly, I think its pity. I really do."

She sighed, but said nothing else. I watched her flounce herself through the cocktails, and we made our way to the table.

I sat down on the cushiony seat and waited, as the rest of the room seemed to do the same thing. There were some clinking of knives on wine glasses, and a few conversations died down into hushed one word answers before the room became so quiet one could hear a pin drop.

"_Sonorus_!" A voice came from the stage and I looked above the beautiful decorations to see a tidily man pointing a wand to his throat and pressing a bowler hat to his chest. He rolled from the balls of his fee to his heals before smiling at having everyone's attention. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry gripping his butter knife tightly.

"Ah, ahem, well my name is Cornelius Fudge, and on behalf of Rufus Scrimgeour I welcome to the first ever annual Light Evening Banquet; the 'light' part of course standing for us. Yes, yes," he nodded to the polite applause. "Now before I introduce tonight's MC, I'd like to ask for a moment of silence, for those who we lost to our cause." He lowered his wand to his side and bowed his head over his bowler hat.

Everyone at the table dropped their heads and I followed in suit. For two minutes we sat there in silence, and I kept my face staring downwards, where it ought to be. Finally Fudge made a little "ahem", and the room whispered back to life. I spared a glance at Harry, who's head remained facing the floor.

"Well, as I was saying, welcome! And I would like to introduce our master of ceremonies tonight, Travis Folley!" A man in red robes walked across the stage and there was another polite applause. Fudge nodded at him, and proceeded to the left, and disappeared behind curtains.

"Well, as has been announced, my name is Travis Folley, and I am at the moment training to be an Auror, and was lucky enough to be picked to entertain all you people tonight. I've been given strict rules, and I'm not allowed to perform any corny jokes, so I can't guarantee I'll be the evening's success." He paused as the room chuckled. "First thing on the agenda, is our honorable guest. Why don't all you witches and wizards out there put your hands together for Harry Potter!"

The applause thundered in my ears, and I found myself clapping in the midst of everyone in the room. Our table shone with pride as Harry gave a little wave and then blushed as it went on much to long for his liking.

"Well, well Mr. Potter, you like quite dashing this evening," the young man smiled at Harry's glare, welcoming it like a doormat. "Alright! Let's get on with the show then!" Travis smiled at those in the audience and made a few special speeches of our sponsors and what not before continuing on.

"And now, I'd like to introduce our very own, Minister of Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour!" The roof raised slightly as the thunderous applause reached the rafters. A man walked out onto the stage and gave a political smile. His tawny hair was streaked with gray… actually, it was almost vice-versa, and his eyebrows made like a curtain over his eyebrows. His robes were quite green and made you look first at the extravagant clothing, rather than at him.

"Good evening to you all!" he said politely. The clapping died down and he began to drone into a speech that I found quite dull. He spoke about past and good fortune, and began to mumble under his breath. He made analogies about life, and what it meant. At this point Hermione, who had been listening attentively beside me, leaned into my ear.

"This is all going to lead up to Harry's heroic efforts," she hissed. "You watch!"

I tried my best to pay attention, and after roughly twenty minutes, the Minister cleared his throat and began to pace.

"… and as I have been saying, life will give you sour melons—and a good share of good ones as well. The good and bad can symbolize people. The good being us, the bad being the non-existent. I would like to bring a special young man into this little story, one whom you have all grown to love, respect and admire." Hermione elbowed me feircly in the ribs and I turned to glare at her. Thinking she had only got my attention, and not caused me pain she pointed to the stage and mouthed, "I told you so."

"Harry James Potter is a boy we have watched evolve into a man throughout the past almost twenty years. That's right ladies and gentleman, this loving wizard turns twenty years old at the end of this month. And as a surprise Mr. Potter," he looked down lovingly at Harry from where he was standing, as if Harry was his grand-son, "we at the ministry would like to present you with an early birthday gift. Come up here please."

Harry rolled his eyes, his back facing Scrimgeour, and stood up slowly, emphasizing his movements. He strolled around casually to the stairs at the stage, as if going to refill his plate at a buffet, and made his way up the tiny flight to the Minister of Magic.

"Now Harry! Why so glum? It is almost your birthday after all!" Harry gave a weak smile and stood side by side with the Minister, almost a half a head taller.

"Now we at the ministry have given great thought to this Mr. Potter, and there have been many discussions on how I—that is to say we, could thank you for the great service you have done for the wizarding world." Harry said nothing, his face unreadable. "Throughout thick and thin, you have stuck to the truth and the life and we have stood behind you one hundred percent. We're proud to have you here tonight and I'm sure that were it not for your bravery and class, this event would not be taking place. I, Rufus Scrimgeour, Minister of Magic, award you, Harry Potter, savior to the wizarding world, _The Order of Merlin: First Class_!"

The room lit up and music started to play. The thunderous applause was ten times more than it had been when the Minister had took the stage, and increased as Harry sourly shook hands with the Minister. The Auror Travis Folley walked from back behind the curtains carrying a rather large gold plaque. He handed it to Harry and shook his hand with a large grin before stepping back and letting Harry to himself.

"Would you like to say a few words Harry?" asked Scrimgeour, handing his wand to Harry. I saw Harry was tempted to shake his head 'no' but watched in amazement as he nodded his head in a civil manner.

Harry cleared his throat and almost dropped the plaque. "Erm, wow, it's heavy," he started. The crowd laughed a little bit and Folley rushed up from the back again and withdrew it from Harry's hand. He stepped back with it and we waited for Harry to continue.

"Well, I've never been to one of these before, but I have a feeling I should start thanking people, so... erm... here it goes." He cleared his throat and looked upon the crowd with aged eyes. "First person I'd like to say something for is Professor Albus Dumbldore—the greatest wizard who ever lived." He paused for effect and the room took in a large breath. "When he died, a part of me died with him. He taught me lessons I could have never learned from anyone else, and told me to stand by what I think, and for what I believe in, which has had me called a maniac, actually, it had me called a crazy by some of the people who are sitting her tonight. I stuck true to what he told me, and now I'm still alive. I'm a Dumbledore's man, and always will be. I also want to express thanks to my friends, old and new, who have stood by me through all the crazy nightmares, articles, and… lets say midnight scavenger hunts. Erm... well, a few are dead, but I know they're watching me." He stopped for a moment, pondering how to phrase the next bit. "The only other person I want to say something about is Neville Longbottom. He could have been standing in my spot right now, as some of you very well know. He lost everything to this cause, like me but in a different way. Neville's parents were tortured to insanity, and unfortunately, he shared the same fate. He was stupidly brave, and died soon after it was over. Thanks Neville." He handed the wand back over to the Minister who came rushing over as Harry lowered it.

"Thank you Harry, we are all touched." As Harry climbed down off the stage, Scrimgeour launched into a speech I wasn't listening to. Harry had some tears scattered on his cheeks. He came and sat beside me, and didn't snap at me for gawking, but turned to face the stage.

§

After many more speeches and some more awards to members of the Order of the Phoenix, dinner was served. Plates were refilled constantly, and I was almost afraid of eating until I exploded… almost.

Hermione kept conversation going at the table, and everyone noticed Harry's seclusion from the discussion. He didn't speak other than to mumble a few thanks when people walked by, patting him on the shoulder in congratulations.

I was so full after the main course that I excused myself to the ladies room during desert, not really wanting anything laid in front of me.

There were gold plated walls in the washroom, and I found myself thinking it was much too stylish for a loo. After washing my hands I examined my face. Although the make-up covered the majority, I saw it to be wearing off a little, and the blue shadow of the scar was becoming darker. My face was flushed and my curls were slightly out of place, however, I had no food in my teeth, and seemed to have kept the messy though delicious gravy off my robes.

When I made my way back to the table, weaving through a section full of rich old ladies, I found myself to be the sight of some laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked. George gave me a mocking grin.

"I don't know? Thirsty?" I took the drink from his hand, and expecting pumpkin juice took back a big gulp. It burned! I thought my throat was on fire and felt my eyes water. I stuck my head in-between my knees for a few moments before sitting upright again.

"What was that?" I growled. In my own ears my voice sounded angry, but the twins—and the rest of the table for that matter, seemed to take no offense.

"You're almost of age, and we decided that you should try Fire Whisky!"

I coughed into my napkin and turned to face Hermione, who's cheeks were flushed.

"Don't come crawling to me! I can't help you! You're so on your own!" she laughed and turned to Ron's shoulder.

I sighed, and then the music started.

"If everyone could please leave their seats, the tables are going to be moved, so stand along the side of these two walls unless you don't want to dance tonight!" joked our MC. We all stood up and strode across to the wall. I clutched my purse tightly to my side and held my breath as the suddenly cleared tables either disappeared, or were moved off to the side for those wanting to sit.

The dancing floor in the middle of the hall revealed to be a large, exquisite painting, which had been concealed by some charm. A wizard was in a violent duel to the death with another, their faces both blurred. Everyone clapped at the marvelous design except Harry.

As the classic music was turned up, Ginny pulled Bill onto the dance floor with her and proceeded to perform the steps to an upbeat waltz perfectly. I saw Bill smiling at his sisters' happiness and gladly watch from a table farthest from the dance floor. George and Fred were dancing rather energetically with two old ladies, who looked to be enjoying themselves rather too much. A line seemed to be forming for who was to dance with them next.

Harry was dancing with a girl about his girl with black hair and a super thin figure. She was dressed from head to toe in white and pink and reminded me a bit too much of a candle. They continued to dance as the fast song changed to a slow. I watched for ten more minutes, and almost went to relieve myself for fresh air when a tap on the shoulder made me turn swiftly.

"Would you like to dance?" asked a young boy uncertainly. He looked to be about eight, and had a big toothy smile and blonde locks. His mother was at the table behind me, obviously holding her breath on my answer.

"I would love to," I said grinning at him. At least I would get one dance out of the evening. I allowed him to place his little hand in mine and we danced to a slower song, my hands sitting on his petite shoulders, his on my waist. We danced to the slow song and a flash came from my left.

"It'll make a cute cover shot!" said a pointy nosed witch. She smiled what seemed to want to be legitimate before being hauled out by a mob of house elves.

The song ended, and I let go of his shoulders. "Thank you, I had a lovely time," I said.

"Me too!" he grinned and skipped off to his mother, no doubt to tell her how his dance was.

I was about to leave the floor when there was another tap on my shoulder. Hermione stood behind me.

"Dance!" she said loudly over the Weird Sister's scratchy tune.

"By myself?" I asked.

"With me! It's a fast one! C'mon!" she grabbed my arms and made me move until I thought my hips might fall off. We danced for a few minutes, and once again, a slow song came on.

"I'm going to sit down!" I yelled.

"No! Here," Hermione grabbed my hand and dragged me over to Bill, who had gone to sit down. "Dance!" she ordered. Bill nodded his head and took me out to the middle of the floor.

"Thanks," I said as quietly as one could with the music being blasted.

"No problem," he said back. I examined his face carefully. It had healed well over the short time, and I would have guessed he had been in a Quidditch accident, rather than mauled by a werewolf. We danced in silence, and as the song changed, Ginny pulled up beside us, on Harry's arm.

"Switch you?" she offered. Bill nodded his head and handed me off to Harry, who looked exhausted.

He placed his hands loosely on my waist, and mine landed on his shoulders. My face looked at his chin, so I made sure to be far enough back as not to collide.

"How are you?" I asked. The song was softer, and I didn't have to talk so loudly.

"I want to go home," he said truthfully. "It was a big ordeal over such a phony award. At some time I'm sure it meant something, but to me it doesn't."

I looked down and then up again. "Your speech was nice."

"Thanks," he replied looking down at me. I shivered.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"I don't know. I think I'm so hot, I'm freezing. It's like walking through soup in here." I tried to withdraw as he pulled me closer towards him, before giving in and placing my head on his shoulder. He clasped his arms a little tighter around my waist.

"Better?" He asked. I didn't reply, but nodded into his shoulder. We danced through the next three songs like that, although two of them were fast. I just put my head there, and a piece of a jigsaw puzzle came together. When I pulled from him I said I was going out into the front to get some air. He nodded his head and went the other direction and I headed towards the doors.


	16. Chapter 16

_So I just finsished chapter 27... I've done a horrible thing. I didn't think I would actually go through with it, but I did... geez I'm such a bad person, but I'm not going to tell you! Anyways, glad so many liked the last chapter, I did too._

**Chapter 16**

The party went into late hours of the night, and I found myself easily tired. Although I was probably as healed as I would ever be, my ribs started to throb from all the activity. I made my way out to the front porch, my body aching for a rest.

I was a pity case. He was just being nice because I was the poor girl next door. It wasn't that he liked me; it was that he had nothing else to care for. Next time something happened to someone else, who was hurting, I would be dropped like a hot potato. I was sure of it. The cool air felt good on my face, and I stood there for a good ten minutes before realizing I wasn't the only one taking a breath of fresh air. Remus had wandered out behind me onto the porch, and was also taking in the cool night,

I didn't say anything, and looked out onto the front lawn where a few reporters and photographers had fallen asleep, sure enough waiting for the last picture of the evening. Remus let out a snort and pointed to a rather bulky wizard whose head had rolled onto his camera. "I bet there'll be an indent in his cheek when he wakes up," he said. I nodded my head but didn't reply. He left soon after, and I fiddled with a piece of hair looking at the stars.

I decided I had better get back inside when a hand grabbed my shoulder. A brisk looking woman grabbed me, it was the same one who had been kicked out before.

"The name's Rita Skeeter. Can I get a few shots?"

"Erm… you've already taken plenty haven't you?" I asked, I turned to go inside, but her grip tightened on my shoulder.

"You entered with Harry Potter, do you have a fling going on? Can you give me something?"

"No. You got plenty with that shot with the cute little boy. You _should_ be reporting on the safety of the world… why so concerned with Harry?" I was puzzled at this woman's attitude, as if she was thirsty for gossip.

"So you're on a first name basis are you?" she asked avoiding my question. I shrugged my shoulders and looked where the bulky cameraman had walked up behind her. He pulled up a camera to take a shot and I covered my face with my gloved hands.

"Don't take a picture!" I hissed. This lady was annoying. "I'm going in now."

"Wait what's you name?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said truthfully and proceeded into the palace once again. I strolled back into the ball room where couples where dancing slowly under a dim light. Hermione was leaning rather closely to Ron and I smiled again. I saw Molly and Arthur almost dancing as one person, and the twins were dancing with two rather young pretty ladies. I made my way over to our table and sat down.

I picked up the glass of Fire Whisky that had been poured for me earlier and took a sip. It was refreshing the second time round, and I found myself finishing off the glass rather quickly. My head spinning, I made my way to the bathroom and sat in one of the bathroom stalls, waiting for the night to end.

§

I woke up in a rather large t-shirt, my now flattened curls stuck to my head. My head was lightly pounding. The sun was shining brightly through my tiny windows so I gathered it was morning. I grabbed a clean pair of clothes and made my way over to the bathroom, making sure I checked to see if the landing was clear before I crossed it in my underwear.

My shower was short, and I washed the make-up of my face with little difficulty, and got out of the shower quickly. I tied my wet hair back in a knot and placed my dirty clothes in the hamper before heading downstairs to the dinning room. There was no food on for display this morning, as it seemed that it was lunch.

Molly handed me a sandwich on a plate and asked me if I had scratched my cheek in my sleep. Not looking in the mirror, I didn't notice that the gash on my forehead had been bleeding. I placed my sandwich on the table and rushed to the bathroom and dabbed it with some toilet paper. It clotted and I sighed. The make-up may have worked last night, but this morning was when I had really needed it.

Large purple bags sat under my eyes from a sleepless night. The flecks in my skin were back, and my longer scar had turned a very deep maroon. I left the bathroom and returned to the dining room. I was there along with Ron, who was nursing his head as if he had a huge headache.

"Morning," I said.

"Do you have to yell so loudly?" asked Ron rather rudely.

"Erm… I could just not speak at all."

"That'd be great." His head dropped to the table and he began to snore rather loudly.

I laughed silently and ate my sandwich hastily. After discovering Molly was no longer in the kitchen I went to rid of my dishes, and then left to my library.

I picked out a book, which was easy to follow with a larger print, and sat and read it for the rest of the afternoon. It was quiet, and the whole house seemed either hung over or exhausted—or both.

I read silently, and enjoyed the sunny day indoors. Around four in the afternoon people began to wake to get things done. There was a disturbance and bustling outside my room, but nobody seemed to be talking to anyone else.

I probably remember the most out of all of them, because I actually remember getting into the car for the ride home, who was sitting beside me, and how extremely long the trip seemed. I had been in a car with Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny. Ginny had been giggling and burping, and I had to tell her to pull up her dress at least three times. Actually, all of them were giggling and burping except for me, because no one had bothered to get me another drink after that first one. They had all been too intoxicated.

I saw Hermione walk by the library roughly three times before coming to sit beside me. We sat in silence for a mere minute before she got up and bolted from the room, and I distinctly heard the toilet flush down the hall. I walked towards the bathroom and found her gargling water.

"That's nice," I said, laughing a little. She spat and looked up at me.

"Oh you think you're so perfect. No drinks at all! Well I'll tell you what! Ginny and I had to drag you out of the bathroom where you were crying over a piece of toilet paper! That's right!" She put some more water in her mouth and leaned back to gargle.

"Really?" I said. "I don't remember that."

"Well you don't remember much do you?" she said angrily.

"Well… no."

"It was a rhetorical question!" she exclaimed and stormed out of the bathroom. I sighed. I wondered why she was angry with me, but didn't pursue her stomping footsteps, instead returned to my library.

§

I skipped dinner that night, afraid to face my friends and their delicate tempers. I put on my pajamas early and went to bed. Not long after seven o'clock there was a knock on my door. I woke with a start and yelled, "Yes?"

Remus opened it up and looked at me with a broad smile.

"There is someone here to see you," he said quietly.

I got out of bed and threw a robe over my underclothes. "Who?" I asked leaving my room.

He didn't reply but led me down to the main hallway. On the way I passed Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Harry, who were all standing in a solemn line. Hermione and Ginny glared my way, and Ron seemed quite out of it. Hermione had obviously spread her irate attitude onto Ginny, and I could see the wheels in her head turning for a prank. Harry however was looking directly at me, as if trying to read my mind.

I continued to tip toe behind Remus, past the elves heads, and Mrs. Black down to the front room.

I stopped with a start and saw a man standing in front of the small couch. His hair short, curly and black and he seemed stunningly fit. His light eyes found me and he frowned before covering it up with a grin. His cloak was soaking from the downpour we had received that evening. His eyes looked me up and down, whether approvingly or not I wasn't sure—the flecks of emerald in them frightened me as I recognized those flecks stood in my own blue eyes. His nose was pointed upward and he had the appearance of someone extremely wealthy, although I knew him not to be.

I gasped and stumbled backwards, my hands on my ribs as I started to hyperventilate. This man had triggered a memory flash flood in my brain, and I found myself muttering under my breath—as if the information was too much to keep in.

"My name is Bethany Charlotte Ramone, I'm sixteen and an only child... My mother is dead. Her maiden name was Hurlie. My father's name is Jack Ramone. He has two brother's… I'm home schooled because he's a Professor… I'm named after my mother. I lived in Star's End, and I love transfiguration…"

I looked at this man, his eyes still examining me. He was exerting a power; it was radiating off his body and I almost stepped back because of it.

"Hello Beth, my Beth." He approached me and I stumbled back a few steps.

"Hey Daddy," I said, my voice high pitched.

"I was looking for you Beth, it's a good thing you've got friends," he held up the _Daily Prophet_ and I saw a picture of me with the little blonde haired boy, his appearance smiling broadly while mine was rather stunned. "I saw your picture Bethany, and I've come to fetch you. It's a good thing I called the hospital is it not? Come give your Papa a hug Beth." He walked towards me some more, arms out stretched.

"I—you… yes Daddy," I said although I kept going backwards. Memories flashed through my head, and white masks and green lights over took my mind. I continued to stumble backwards and hit the elephant foot umbrella stand. Then, everything went dark.


	17. Chapter 17

_Beautiful Reviews! Anways, I should let you know that gradually we'll be seeing more of Beth's past, and although it might not be truly clear right now, it will be, so don't get your knickers in a twist! _

**Chapter 17**

I woke up in a room that was not my own. Light walls seemed much to like the hospital room although I knew it not to be. On the wall across from me was a poster of a broomstick. My broomstick—that, I was sure of. I slipped out from underneath the very pink quilt and realized my toes were cold. They had been hanging off the bed, which was too short for me.

I was right, this wasn't my room from the house of Black, but from my very own. It hadn't been redecorated since I was born other than the poster and upgrading from a cradle to a bed.

I knew the lay out of the house instantly. My room was more of a loft, and the stairs opened and closed and were more like a latter leading into the hallway, which my Father's room, and the bathroom ran off of. The other end led to our petite kitchen and living room. It was tiny, but it was home—or rather, house.

I opened up the ladder and climbed down, my pulse racing. I remembered everything. He had sold me out—my very own father…

I tiptoed through the hall and peeked into his room. The bed was empty, and the picture frame of my mother sat untouched on his bedside table, where I had seen it last. I proceeded down the hall and turned right into the kitchen, where he was flipping pancakes on a muggle stove.

Without turning he said, "Good morning Bethany. I thought we'd start back on your studies today. I know that you must be out of practice and that man I met—Remus or whatever, he said you had a new wand?" He let out a good-natured laugh and turned to face me. I said nothing but sat down at the table.

"Okay Daddy," I said meekly. He padded across the tiny kitchen and placed the hot cakes on my plate before speaking again. His black turtleneck slimmed down his muscular torso, and his legs appeared a little stocky in caramel colored trousers.

"So how's my perfect girl doing? How could my wonderful girl forget about me huh? Hey kiddo?" He laughed again, although this time it was deeper, and ruffled my hair. He didn't say anything about my face although I knew he was examining it discretely, looking how to make it better—to make me perfect.

"I don't know Daddy, it was magic…" I played with my hot cake.

"Well you fought it off didn't you?" he asked laughing. "That's my girl!"

"Yes Daddy."

I finished my breakfast in silence.

"I'm going to go get dressed okay Daddy? I'll be right back."

"Okay sweetie," he said. He was cleaning up the kitchen and followed me down the hall. I pulled down the ladder to my room and crawled up, shutting it quickly behind me. I pulled on a pair of trousers and a turtleneck like his to cover up as much of my body as I could. I layered another sweater over top although it was boiling. I never quite knew how to prepare.

I tucked my wand into my pocket and headed to the basement where I knew he'd be waiting. I proceeded down the dark steps slowly, and looked both ways. He stood at the end, smiling. It wasn't the nice smile he had on before, but was more like a leer.

"There you are my dear," he said. "I thought we'd just brush up on your skills a little bit. _Imperio!_"

My wand dropped to the ground and he made me crawl on all fours, his voice punching inside my head. _How could you forget me Bethany? I don't think you did!_

I was blinded and walked towards something unknown. Numbness had come over me, and it was the deep pain that brought me back to reality.

"Oh they really went soft on you!" said my Father, his eyes gleaming. "I need a perfect… oh never mind." He laughed softly.

I clutched my ribs, and then remembered my wand. I rushed to pick it up before the spell was on me again.

"_Imperio!"_

Someone was telling me to point the wand at myself. I felt compelled to move that way, but focused my energy on moving it in the other direction. A surge of hatred ran through me.

"_Incendo_!" I screamed. It was hot. So hot that my feet were on fire. The Imperius curse had been lifted and I looked around helplessly and then the fire I had created was gone.

"Better Bethany; but not ideal. Do you need a reminder on how to be ideal Bethany?"

I shook my head and looked at the ground. The way he said my name made it sound as if he was scolding me, and I felt guilty. I wasn't the child he had asked for, and I had killed his wife. Of course he should be angry with me.

"Let's have a duel. Come up here now," he said, pointing to where he was standing. I walked up, and resisted the urge to grimace at the pain in my ribs.

I bowed to him, turned and took three steps, as did he.

"_Expelliarmus!"_ I screamed, pointing my wand at my Father. Nothing happened and he smiled grimly. I felt a force on my body and found myself bending down to him.

"Think of something else!" he yelled at me. I tried to push against the force, but found my body failing. He was using non-verbal spells. For a moment, only a brief moment, I was filled with wrath. He wanted to play that way? Fine.

_Sectumsmpra!_

He laughed.

"Weak Bethany! They've weakened you!" Suddenly I was screaming, my body slashed with different cuts, pouring blood onto the floor. I squirmed on the concrete, trying to get it to stop, and then it did. "You're dead," he said simply, and stepped over my shuddering body.

§

I peeled off my bloody clothing. I had cast a charm on the door so he couldn't hear me, should I start to cry. My newly healed cuts were mostly on my upper torso, assisting in opening up remaining wounds. I turned on the tap and stepped underneath the warm water, and a sigh of relief escaped me as it poured overtop my body.

He had given me up to the death eaters. When they had come pounding at his door, threatening to kill him, he gave them me in exchange for his own life. I spent weeks with them before that final day arrived, and as it did, my bruised battered body gave up. I had almost died, but I prayed.

They had used me as a test subject and as my Father thought, strengthened me for a life of evil, one where it was regular to be bled and then healed and bled again, for sick unknown purposes. I had been tested and made for that type of life, and then the light side won.

But my Father didn't seem to care that I had been alive, I was only a nuisance, and I knew it. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to talk about it.

My back stung as water poured into a fresh cut and I started to cry. I pounded the wall, sobbing in my own misery, the misery I had made for myself. I was a murderer. For months I had slept and ate and breathed evil. I had lived with them and come accustomed to their ways. I had gotten use to that, and to think about what they had put Harry through made me ashamed of myself. I wanted to be his friend, but how could I after knowing what I had done.

I pushed it to the back of my mind. If I wasn't completely sure, then no one else would be.

I deserved the pain, and I had to be perfect. I would never be as perfect as my mom, but I had to try. I had killed her, so I had to replace her.

§

"You received a letter," said my Father. He handed it to me. "Open it," he ordered. "Read it."

I undid the string around the little scroll and began to read, and then realized he was looking at me expectantly. He wanted me to read out loud.

"_Dear Beth, You are invited to a sleepover with Ginny and I the night of the thirtieth and thirty-first. It is Harry's birthday on the thirty-first, but he says that you don't have to get him anything. Anyways, RSVP ASAP! Love, Hermione."_

I looked up at him, waiting for his reaction.

"Out of the question."

"What?" I was almost raged and then I realized whom I was taking to. "I mean, Daddy, it will be lots of fun, and it's Harry Potter's twentieth birthday! To be invited to that is an honor, don't you think?" I smiled up at him, pleading.

"No. It's disgusting. You should be focusing more on your studies than trying to pick up boys by packing on make-up to cover up… that." He gestured to my face and I pulled a curtain of hair to that side and looked down.

"Please Daddy. I don't have to go both night's."

"Did you not hear what I just said?"

"I did, I just thought—"

"_Silencio_!" He glared at me and placed his hands palm down on the kitchen table. "You listen now. It's my turn to talk. You are not leaving this house, until you can hold yourself respectably, and defend yourself well. Do you understand me?"

I stayed still.

"I said; _do you understand me_?"

I nodded.

"Good. And tomorrow I'll try to work on your face. _Finite_!"

I had my voice back, but I didn't say a word.


	18. Chapter 18

_Wow! So I'm officially finished this fic. :) Thirty chapters is my total, so I hope you've enjoyed it so far, because you're more than half way through. Anyways, on with the story, and so you all know, I hate this chapter; it tugs at my heart strings and has a little higher rating for magical domestic violence._

_Also by the end of this chapter, you should have a general idea of why Beth's father is freakishly weird. Mind you, a full explaination won't come until later on, but subtle hints are dropped in his speech and actions, so pay attention!_

**Chapter 18**

I slept horribly that night, and kept seeing myself in a mirror where my face was changing from a monster to a girl. It continued until he threw his fist into the ceiling and yelled at me to shut up. I didn't sleep the rest of the night.

At breakfast the next day I was helpless to say anything about the sleepover. He had silenced me when I walked into the room, and I sat down and ate breakfast.

"Feeling better this morning?"

I nodded my head. I could never read what he meant by what he said. His face was always calm, and he always acted happy. Always.

"What did you dream about last night Beth? I know it kept me awake so it must have been exciting."

"I can't remember," I whispered.

"Are you lying Beth?" He smiled like he had just opened a birthday present.

"No, I really can't." Of course I was lying. It's one of those things that are much too painful to talk about. Why was he so concerned?

I poked at the runny eggs on my plate and placed down my fork, examining the grain on the pine table.

"I don't believe you Bethany," he said. "_Legilimens_!" My nightmare was flashing before my eyes, and my face changed like a butterfly to a caterpillar—pretty to ugly over and over again. It stopped.

"Is that it Bethany?" I nodded my head. "Well no need to worry, Daddy is going to make you perfect today. I'm going to fix you all up, and then we can start to train again alright? But first you have to send a letter to your little friends. I'll tell you what to write."

I nodded again. He picked up the book off the table he was reading, and the title flashed before me. _Your Mind and The Dark Arts—A Tom Riddle Biography._

§

I sat in a chair in the basement. He had tied my arms to the handles, and my legs to the legs of the chair. If I was to struggle, I wouldn't affect his medical skills. The tiny basement windows let in little light because of the immense amount of smog outside. I wondered vaguely if he'd let me go and fly around for a bit.

"Let's see…" he walked around in front of me. "This might hurt a little bit Bethany, but you want to be perfect for your 'ole Dad don't you?" I felt my head move up and down. "Good."

He once again performed a non-verbal spell—he seemed to favor those—so I didn't prepare myself for it.

Suddenly, a wall of heat was upon me. I found it hard to breath but for a good minute that was it. And then it happened; the heat became so intense I thought my skin was burning and melting off my bones. It was scalding, like sticking your face in a pit of boiling water, but worse because I knew that someone was doing it on purpose.

"STOP!" I screamed. "STOP! NO!" I screamed and screamed, my eyes shut. I couldn't see, and I felt blinded. "Please!" My screams went down to whimpers as the pain increased. It wouldn't stop. I tried to focus on something, like flying, or singing, or listening to music, or something, but nothing could make it end. I cried hoping that maybe my tears would cool it down, but that only increased the intensity of the heat.

I urged my body to pass out, but I stayed fully conscious the whole time, screaming until I was hoarse. I pulled on the ropes that strapped me down, and felt them digging into my skin. I thought my face might fall off, or worse, I might die. And then I realized that might not be so bad compared to this.

"KILL ME!" I screamed.

§

It hurt to lift my head. I was still strapped to the chair. A mirror had been placed across from me about four feet away. I analyzed it. My face had gotten worse, not better. It seemed that burning had truly taken place because most of my face was a bright red, as if layers of skin had been peeled off. Blood stained my shirt, and I let my head drop once again.

§

"Who did this to you?" asked my Father. I raised my head to see him replacing the mirror. "It's a spectacular piece of magic. They've put some type of enchantment on it, and I can't figure out what caused it to stay through my treatment. I must meet this person."

I sobbed. He was so brilliant, and eccentric, but he was also pure evil; to parts of his very soul. The sad thing was, I still loved him… I needed him. "Is that all you care about? I'm permanently deformed, and you want to meet the—the person who did this? And what, make small talk?"

My face burned on one cheek, as though he had slapped me, but he was still standing across the room.

"Is that all you think about? Yourself? Your mother never thought about herself! She gave up her life for you. You disgusting deformed little slut!" He walked up to me and pushed the chair I was tied to over on it's side. My head hit the concrete floor and I prayed I hadn't cracked my skull.

And then, like that he was hovering over me, and I was in my bed.

"I'm sorry Bethany, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking. Forgive me."

I smiled. "It's okay Daddy. I know you didn't mean it." He leaned over me and gave me a kiss on the top of my head.

"I've put some cream on the burns, they should be gone tomorrow morning, but I've put a spell on the bed to keep you from touching it. You can take tomorrow off alright? We'll skip the schooling. Let's go out and play a little quidditch. How about that?" He anxiously awaited my answer. This was his way of thinking esoteric, or rather, out of the box. For him, this was being rebellious.

"Good night, Perfect," he said. I smiled at his nickname for me and closed my eyes. I would be his perfect little girl. I had too.

I woke up early the next morning, the pounding in my head unbearable. My face hadn't healed. It was still bright red, and remained that way for the rest of the week. He gave me a potion for it when I went down for breakfast. Then we went out and passed the quaffle around. This was the Dad I loved. The one that played with me in the yard, and held my hand when I hurt, and kissed my "boo-boo's" better.

We went on and repeated this routine three times. Three days of misery, and three days of healing and bliss. It was the three marvelous days that I learned the most. Through those discomfited days, I had fractured my skull, discovered scars I never knew I had, and made my face the worst purple color. On our superior days, I learned how to toss the quaffle across the field, perform a superb feint, and eat three full meals.

After a particularly bad spell my Father came into apologize.

"I'm sorry Bethany. I should've guessed you couldn't handle it. I'm sorry." I didn't say anything. "I want you to go to that birthday sleepover thing." His compound attitude confused me, but I jumped on the opportunity to get out of the house. "I'll send your response." He turned to abscond.

"Thank you Daddy, and don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine in the morning." The broken arm wasn't what I was worried about; it was the bruises shaped like a hand. I frowned, but didn't say anything when they were still there the next morning.

I packed enough clothes for two days, and some clean wrappings for my ribs. I took it with me to the kitchen table.

"I'm ready Daddy. Can I fly?"

He smiled at me kindly, my mirror image eyes piercing gaze examining me. "Alright. But you have to eat some breakfast. I made eggs." He put some onto my plate and we ate in silence. He didn't mention anything of the night before, but skipped the topic altogether, telling me to owl him when I got there, and giving me money to buy Harry a gift even though he said not to.

He seemed so gentle, my Father. He tried his best, and I accepted him for that. He tried. When _they_ came, he only gave me up for my own protection, I decided. I mean, if I was with the death eaters of my own will, and they had won, I would've been better off wouldn't I? And then, if the good side won, which they did, and then I could claim to evading capture and fighting for the light. It was a brilliant plan in the scheme of things. He hadn't wanted to save his own butt I was sure! He couldn't have left me behind anyways. I would've died by myself. And he came looking for me! How great could a guy be?

I pondered these things on my flight there. My nimbus 2000 was a little rusty, but I made my way there in good time, riding it an only twenty-minute flight.

My Father was a good man. He was only trying to do his best. I was sure I was bound to expedite under his care and love, and even his hurtful training. And I had killed his wife after all, if I didn't receive a little pain, how would I repent my sins? How could I possibly make up for murder, even if I was only two days old when it happened?


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

I knocked lightly on the door, backpack on and present in hand. I leaned my broomstick on the doorway, a little tired from the flight.

If you've ever had little children in your home, then you'll know the sound of anxious feet running to beat you to the door when it rings. That's what I heard echo outwards and grinned a little bit. The door flew open and a laughing Hermione opened it up.

"Beth! Oh… oh my gosh! What happened to your face?" She covered her mouth with her hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. It's just, it looks really red… I'm sorry. Pretend I never said anything." She twiddled her thumbs for a second and Fred and George appeared behind her.

"What'd you get him then?" asked George pointing to my bag and pretending to not notice my scalded face.

"Erm—"

"Don' tell them!" Hermione hissed. She grumbled: "They keep doing this thing…"

"What thing?"

"Tell us what it is, and we'll show you," said Fred.

"Okay—"

"No! Don't do it…" Hermione made a noise of exasperation and pulled on her hair.

"I got him a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans—bulk– and a broom and wand polish kit. It's got all these little accessories that go with it." I smiled meekly. "Is that enough?"

"Well yes, it is a very nice gift," said George.

"But ours," said Fred.

"IS BETTER!" They chimed concurrently and rather loudly in Hermione's ear. She groaned and stomped her foot. Then the twin's disapparated.

"I told you. Now they'll mock you the whole time… So how's your Dad? Do you remember now? Your memory must sure have come back; I mean his image must've been a sort of trigger right? And then you passed out, but he insisted on taking you home…" She continued to babble while she led me up the hallway about how everyone had realized the seriousness of the situation only after I had left, not sure he was my Dad…

"Oh, and Ginny and I felt horrible, so you know. We were so bitter… unexplainably hung over, we should take you out when you come of age, but it's Christmas Eve right? So maybe we'll do it shortly after."

We reached the dining room, and I prepared myself for the intake of breath. Like I had predicted, everyone stared for a moment at my newly burned face.

"Hi." I said portraying a fake smile although my cheeks burned when I did it. "So I'll say this once, I was roasting marshmallows in front of the fire with my Dad, and when I poked the embers, there was this explosion thing, and I burnt my face. It should heal soon. That's it, just me being stupid," I looked around at Harry, Remus and almost all the Weasley's, including a newly healed Charlie. Conversation started again.

"It's great to see you Beth," said Remus.

"Hey Beth," muttered most the people in the room.

"Hermione, could you introduce me to—" I motioned to the extra red head in the room.

"Right, come here. Charlie," she walked me around the room by my hand, "this is Beth. I don't know if anyone told you, but Beth—"

"All she knew about me was that I liked dragons, and I was going to wake up. It's a pleasure to know that someone pretty goes with the voice." His chocolate eyes were laughing at me as I looked at him in shock. He had heard me! I shook his hand.

"It's a good thing I didn't say anything bad then right?" I joked. He frowned before smiling, as if he comprehended my words rather slowly. "It's nice to meet you finally." I said. I placed my nap sack, and little gift bag in the corner and sat down to Ginny's left, who had briefly waved to me when I walked in before returning to her conversation with Harry.

"Hi guys," I said quietly. Harry gave me a nod, his eyes piercing gaze made me flush a little bit, as though he could see through my lies. Ginny smiled.

"Hey, I'm sorry I was so ru—"

"Drop it." I ordered. "It's no problem."

"Great. Hey what's that?" She pointed to my wrist, which had made a sudden appearance I subconsciously pulled back my long sleeves.

"Nail polish," I lied through my teeth pulling my sleeve down. Someone had bewitched my things while I was gone, and I'm afraid I can't get it off." I laughed awkwardly.

"Really? That's a neat color! Can I see?" she went to reach for my sleeve.

"I'd rather you didn't thanks. It stinks—like grape or something. Painful really. And the last thing I'd want to do is knock everybody in the room out. It's bloody strong." More lies. Ginny didn't seem to notice and let out a short laugh.

"Listen, you didn't tell Fred and George what you got Harry did you?" Her voice dropped. "They're doing this super strange thing where—"

"I'm afraid I told them."

Ginny sighed. "Git's." I smiled.

"I'm going to go put my stuff in my room, is that alright?" Ginny nodded.

"You know where it is," she said.

I picked up my pack, and gift bag as I walked out of the room. "By the way Ginny," I said looking at her as I walked: "In my past life time, I was a keeper. My broom's on the front porch."

§

We played a wicked game of quidditch that night, and much against Mrs. Weasley's wishes, Charlie played as well.

I played Keeper on a team with Harry, Ginny and Charlie, and Fred, George, Ron, Hermione and Bill played the other side. Although we were unevenly matched, we had a blast, our bodies pumping in the night air. At one point I almost removed my sweater, but realized that it would not be a good idea. We played until late evening among all the fireflies, garden gnomes that lit up, and lit wands, stuck in the ground.

We dropped to the ground at a tie when Charlie started to droop on his broom, although we all insisted that it was because we were tired. Sweaty and sore, we headed inside, trampling through the house. I went right to the shower, which made Ginny and Hermione angry but I laughed through the door and went as fast as I could.

When I came out only Ginny and Hermione were standing in line.

"We made the guys go to the bathroom on the first floor, the one with the mermaid on the wall that laughs at you when you bath." Ginny giggled. "I think there are crabs on the tiles on the floor, but I couldn't tell you for sure. I'm not the type to shower with magical drawings."

Hermione cut in front and went into the shower. "You've been jacked!" she said to Ginny. The inside joke made Ginny laugh quite hard and tears came out her eyes.

"You had to be there," she said. I nodded and went to my room, packing my possessions away and sticking my gifts and broom in the closet. It was weird that a home I had spent so much time in, was no longer mine. I felt more in place here than I had ever felt at home. The ceiling adjusted when I walked in, and a field of flowers waved to me. I imagined lying in that field when I went to bed, and easily slept.

§

There was a knock at my door as I pulled on some clean clothes. Today was Harry's birthday, and I'd done anything but sleep in. I padded across the hard wood floor and opened my door. Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Bill, Charlie, and Fred and George stood there.

"Oh good, you're dressed. He's not up, so we're going to ambush him," whispered Ginny. I nodded in understanding.

We tiptoed to his bedroom door, and Ron put his fingers to his lips, squinted and opened the door carefully slowly. I had to try really hard to restrain a giggle. Ginny went in first, and Hermione and I followed, by all the brothers. Ginny hopped up onto the top of his bed, and dropped to her knees so quietly you would have guessed she was weightless. She slid up his body with sleekness of some kind of slippery reptile until her knees straddle his ribs. I felt a small pang of jealousy.

She looked up at us and motioned with her fingers, "three, two, one!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Ginny sat down on Harry's stomach and he let out a yell before looking around with a crazed look, as if he could use another two hours of rest.

"I'm twenty. I'm old." He groaned and pulled his pillows over his face. Ginny leaned more weight into him with her pelvis and he let out a muffled yell. "Geezus," he grumbled. "Geroff!" He pushed her shoulders and she laughed and fell into the wall.

"Get up! Get dressed!" exclaimed Fred.

"We're taking you out! Faster old man!" George pulled the blankets back to reveal a half naked Harry—his checkered shorts seemed rather loose. He groaned again and sat up, throwing his legs over the side of the bed.

His body was lean, and covered in thin whip-like scars. Everyone seemed familiar with these except me, who looked the other way in embarrassment. He wasn't gorgeous. His muscles weren't rippling, nor were they extravagantly large, however, they were defined, and his abdomen flexed as he yawned and stretch his arms over his head. He pulled his glasses on and ruffled his hair before walking over to the dresser to pull out some clothes for the day.

We began to shuffle out, and I continued the pep talk with myself about pity, and a how I was only a job, but I couldn't seem to get the image of Ginny straddling him out of my mind.


	20. Chapter 20

_Alright, so here's the plan. This story will be fully up and finished by the end of September if not sooner :) ._

_Calling all artists! I'm looking for anyone with any type of talent to draw scenes or characters from this story. How you interpret it, anything! I've seen this done to seven or eight stories, and it's sooo cool! However, I have not ability whatsoever with a drawing pencil-- so if anyone is interested, please send me pictures through email (on my profile) or let me know through a review! I'll be posting them for all to see, so make sure to sign your name and date._

**Chapter 20**

Fred and George dragged the whole household to the fireplace after a rather large birthday breakfast. The only person of close relation missing was Remus. That night before had been a full moon, and although he left a card for a Harry on the front counter, I knew it would be a sour disappointment not having him to join the festivities. He would join us again around midnight that night however.

In the spectacular attire they wore almost always, the twins allowed themselves to laugh at our misunderstanding when they told us to say "The Burrow" when hopping into the fireplace.

"We can't tell you any more than this," said Fred.

"Nothing," said George simply. They laughed at us through their eyes—actually, it was more like their eyes were roaring at us, and the glint and sparkle had a flame.

"The Burrow!" I yelled, stepping lightly into the flames. I saw Ginny last, laughing along with George, and giving him a punch in the elbow. I ended up in a dark room, presumably lightless, or given the appearance of a bland black walled enclosure. Only when I went to lean on one of the walls, I realized they were only curtains, and managed to regain my composure before Mrs. Weasley stepped through the fireplace. She was quickly followed by one of the twins, and the rest including Charlie and Bill.

I stood oddly among them, the farthest from family in the room. When the last person (Ginny) entered the room, George cleared his throat for a silence.

I looked around, and hoped this wasn't how the rest of the house wasn't decorated.

"Welcome to the Weasley's new home, completely renovated… actually, Mum, Dad," George looked to his brother.

"The house was so badly destroyed, we had to start from scratch," finished Fred. "We salvaged what we could, but it would've cost more to remodel it type thing." Mrs. Weasley stood in shock for a moment, before an angry glint started up in her face.

"What do you mean? Start from scratch!" She huffed. "So this is all you could build is it!" It was more of a statement than a question, and she stomped her foot.

"Well… no," said George. "You see, since we started from scratch we needed blue prints and the like…"

"So we designed it ourselves." Fred procured his wand from his back pocket, and gave the room a quick wave. Instantly it was even blacker than before, and I couldn't see a thing. I groped for a moment in panic before Georges voice echoed.

"The blindfolds are temporary," he said. "Just one moment while we set up…" With a few sounds I struggled to make out, I felt myself being turned by two large hands to face the other way. I rigidly swiveled, uncomfortable with not being able to see the person who the hands belong to, although common sense told me that it was either Fred or George.

There was some shuffling and squeaking of shoes on what appeared to be a hard floor, which I hadn't noticed at the beginning. It was funny how when one sense was taken away, all your other heightened. My sight was gone, and I felt lost, but my hearing was better than anything else.

And as fast as my sight was gone, it was back, and staring into a living room, which openly moved into a kitchen. I looked around in awe. The organic atmosphere and walls were increasingly impressive as I turned three hundred and sixty degrees. The fireplace we had come out of was plated with what appeared to be rather old and shabby looking bricks in comparison to the rest of the room.

The kitchen was a blend of granite countertops, and earth tones. A rather large hutch held an assortment of knick-knacks, pictures and mementos. A framed picture sat on the wall across from me of the Weasley family, standing in front of what appeared to be a pyramid. The floor was a solid dark hard wood, and the walls had the lightest shade of toupe. Although I'm sure this was only the start, I was amazed at the familiarity of the home, and how comfortable I was in it. Should it not be rude, I probably would've drunk from the milk carton.

The surprise was the unpredictable and out of character show of emotion from Mrs. Weasley. Her face went completely blank and we all turned to look at her. Her cheeks turned white, and she was leaning far too much to the right. Her eyes bugged out a little, and her little knit cap had fallen out of place. Her fingers sat stiffly by her sides, and knees were locked absolutely straight. She looked around her slowly, examining the room. She walked towards one of the walls and traced a framed picture with her fingers. She turned the fireplace.

"Oh," she exclaimed softly. Her voice was a hoarse whisper. "Oh," she repeated.

She continued to walk around, and touched the countertops, as if feeling them would make them more real. I took a quick peek at her family's faces, which seemed to be in a temporary state of shock—however I couldn't be sure if it was because of the house, or the fact that Mrs. Weasley was finally rendered speechless.

I made the first move and followed Mrs. Weasley into the kitchen, which I discovered was much longer than it appeared, and there was actually a rather long dining table in front of a set of double glass doors, leading presumably into the backyard. Once again, it was so silent one could hear a pin drop. Mrs. Weasley wandered, feeling and touching things, her eyes still bugged out.

Fred and George followed her rather closely, and finally one of them spoke.

"Mum?"

She turned far too quickly, as if she forgot they were there.

"You do… you do like it don't you?"

Mrs. Weasley looked around, in a mere moment of hesitation, before bursting into tears.

"You kept my fireplace… and this, this is our table, but the chairs—they're new! And—" she let out a rather large gasp: "And I can't imagine, how! And the picture!" She cut off in mid sentence and rushed over to the framed picture of her family in front of a pyramid. She brushed it delicately with her fingers. "I wish Percy was here."

The dazed silence met the room. Bill looked to Charlie, who looked to Mr. Weasley, who looked to Ginny, who looked to Fred, who was already staring at his twin, grinning broadly.

"Well, Mum, we haven't shown you the rest of the house, and we are expecting a special git to come and visit in roughly—" a doorbell that sounded slightly like a chirping bird echoed through the house. "Well, we've never known him to be late have we?" he asked.

Fred rushed past the kitchen and into the front, past what appeared to be a den in the front room, and opened a rather large pine door.

A spindly looking man was standing there and I estimated him to be in his late twenties. He wore a set of rather broad spectacles, which covered a good portion of his face. His arms hung limply by his sides, and the pair of trousers he wore were much too warm to be wearing in mid-summer. His nose pointed upward a little bit like an elf, and the freckles that were scattered across his face made him appear slightly less mature than I imagined him to be. He smiled awkwardly.

"Hello," he said. His voice was brisk and deep, and did not seem to match his rather lean body.

"Percy!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed. She rushed forwards from where she had reached in the front hallway, and held her son in one of the tightest embraces I have ever seen. The man seemed rather flustered, but accepted that he could not push her away even with the limp complaint: "Mother, please…"

She turned to Fred and George, "Thank you," she mumbled in a small voice that seemed very much more elegant and petite compared to her bellow. "You kept my fireplace," she said rather blandly, "And some of the things on the shelves, and you brought my family back together."

"Well," said Fred, "We really can't take all the credit."

"Bill and Charlie convinced Percy you see," George looked directly at his brother in the doorway. "Fred and I felt that we may come across as a bit harsh with you—you git. And you are, so don't object. But we've agreed, haven't we George?"

"All too right Fred," said George, also eyeing up his newly commemorated family member. "We will not hurt or punch or laugh, and will come to forgive you in time. However, name calling is still a go." He gave Percy a salute.

Percy cleared his throat and adjusted his shirt collar. He mumbled something very quietly under his breath. Ginny looked up at him, her face flushing angrily, and I was reminded of her short temper. "I'm sorry Perce, did you say something?"

"I said," Percy cleared his throat again, "I'm sorry."

"Well now that that is settled," said Bill, "Why don't you two take us on a tour of the rest of the house?"

We did just that. The twins showed us to the basement where they had created a suite for their parents—the top floor, which had originally been designated for them, had been taken over by a ghoul it seemed, who had enjoyed banging pipes and what not. Even though it was in the cellar, the twins had done a beautiful job in making it seem less so. It was a lovely shade of lavender, and the king sized four poster bed was rather wispy looking, as if made for royalty with the white hangings, and step up onto it. Windows had been made to look like they were on the first floor, so all that appeared was sky, even though the window wells still existed. There was also a small entertaining room into the bedroom, as well as a bath that resembled the one at Grimmauld Place, although I'm sure there weren't any tainted house elves.

The twins showed us through the rest of the house, each room much different than the next, and every room individual for the person it was designed. Ginny's was a shade of cherry red, while Ron's was white except for the far fireplace wall, which was one of the ugliest shades of orange I had ever seen in my life. This seemed to mean a lot to Ron however, because he shouted ecstatically when walking in.

Finally, we reached the end of third floor (where Ron, and the twins rooms existed) and found a large black curtain.

"This," said Fred, sweeping his arm majestically at the curtain behind him, "Is Harry's gift."

We looked around. "You could've at least made it a festive drape you guys," said Ginny jokingly.

"Oh shut up," said George. "Harry welcome to your new home," the curtain disappeared, and a large burgundy door revealed itself, Harry's initials engraved into it in sparkling gold letters.


	21. Chapter 21

_Still no takers on the drawing thing? sighs Well if you do, I'll** still** be looking for them after the story is finished! And for my other fic too!_

_Anyways, this is a bit of a filler chapter, but like I've stated previously, chapters will be super frequent now, so you won't have to wait long. _

**Chapter 21**

Harry stood in awe, his face unreadable. I watched as a grin broke out across it.

"We figured that if you ever feel lonely in that house that you come visit. You're always welcome." The twins grinned.

"Wow."

Harry looked at us—we had made our way behind him—and then back at the door.

"Well," said Fred, "Open it up."

He approached the door slowly, his fingers trembling, and I took a swift peek at Ginny who was standing beside me. She had turned a flush color of pink. I quickly returned my eyes to Harry, who had disappeared through the doorway.

We followed him in, and a very masculine room met me. Dark furniture lined the octagonal shaped room. A window bench was at the far side, looking onto a grove of trees. Harry's bed was also of mahogany, and sat on the far wall, a picture of a dragon above it breathing fire with malice.

The walls were a cream white, although the trim that followed the hardwood floors was a banner of red and gold, glittering and moving. The built in cabinets that matched the bed, had open shelves on the top, revealing, much like the kitchen, knick-knacks and an assortment of goodies. A picture of Hermione, Ron, and Harry sitting by a lake met me, Ron snoring gently, his back against a tree, and Hermione studiously looking over some books. Harry however, seemed lost in his own world, his hands running through his hair repeatedly. A picture of two people, one looking very much like Harry, twirled in a circle one picture over. The lady was quite sophisticated looking although she was wearing only a shabby trench coat, and her red hair hung loosely over her shoulders.

Harry walked over to the wall, his face in shock.

"Where did you get this?" he asked.

"Erm… it's not really important Harry," said Fred.

"Where?" he said again, his voice harder and a little more urgent sounding.

"Well," said George cautiously, "When we had to clean out Hagrid's cabin for the new groundskeeper we found it sitting on his shelf. Hagrid would've wanted you to have it Harry."

Harry picked it up off the shelf and gazed at it silently for a few minutes. The room went silent and someone gave my shoulder a pull. Bill pointed to the doorway and I followed him out, clutching my upper body from the shudder that was coming on. I had suddenly gotten cold. It felt as though my body had frozen over. We shuffled out of the room, Harry still looking at the picture.

"I didn't know," Fred muttered after closing the door behind him. "I thought maybe it would cheer him up…"

"Who were they?" I asked. My teeth made a funny chattering sound.

"His parents. He has this album of them, but I don't think he looks at it often… hey are you okay?" George looked at me curiously.

"Fine." My teeth made a funny noise as they clashed together. "A little cold…"

"You're cold?" said Bill. "It's boiling up here. You know, the whole heat rises thing. You should be sweating."

"I'm good." I rubbed my arms over top the goose bumps. I was freezing.

"You're blue!" Hermione exclaimed. I was finding it hard to breath. Was it a spell? I was confused as to what was going on. No one had cursed me I was sure, but how else could I suddenly change modes from boiling to freezing in a matter of seconds? I started to gasp for breath.

Mrs. Weasley hustled forward and waved her wand a few times over me. My breathing became audibly better, and I wasn't as cold.

"It's the after affect of many spells cast in a short period of time upon a person. Fred and George always had it," she said with a frown. "It'll go away in a minute. Were you on the receiving end of any spells lately dear?" she questioned.

"I… I… I had a duel with my Father, you know, out of fun. I had a couple fun ones. You know…" I stuttered over my words. Mrs. Weasley's brow puckered, but she didn't say anything.

The door behind me creaked and we whipped around. Harry's eyes were slightly puffy, but he smiled.

"Thank you so much."

Behind me Percy let out a little cough and elbowed Fred.

"No problem whatsoever." Fred said with sincerity. "Besides, there is more." Harry cocked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. "After lunch of course," George added.

Everyone laughed and we fumbled downstairs. I rubbed my upper body again, chills still running down my spine. I watched Hermione's head bob at the front of the group, Ron's following closely. The two had been obviously closer since the ball, and quite enviously I watched their affection for each other increase.

We made our way to the kitchen where Mrs. Weasley immediately started to rummage through cupboards revealing brand new pots and pans and all sorts of different utensils. She made conversation all the while, perfectly content in her new house and obviously comfortable. All the while she kept shooting me sideways glances, concern evident in her face.

"Well, our cake is actually at the other house, so I'm just going to whip this up and then I'll go back and get it… Beth, would you come with me?"

I nodded my head.

"Excellent. And don't chew on your hair dear, it's a bad habit and gives you split ends." I instantly pulled the strand of hair I had been gnawing on out of my mouth.

§

Compared to the Weasley's new house, I found Grimmauld Place to be dark, dingy and unwelcoming. I followed Mrs. Weasley along as she opened up a top cupboard to reveal an extremely large box.

"Now, I'm going to hand this to you, and then we can shrink it. It's like a piece of cake!" She laughed. "Pardon the pun dear," she said smiling. I didn't say anything, but acknowledged that I was listening with a small smirk.

"Now, why don't you tell me how you got around to dueling with your Father while I get this down Beth," she smiled and pointed her wand at it. "_Reducio_!"

"It was nothing really," I stammered. "I used to do it with him all the time when I was younger you see… my Father was a professor, so I was home schooled. It's like routine."

"Really?" Mrs. Weasley said picking up the now tiny package. "That is strange. I've never heard of home schooling for magic. It's interesting. You should invite your Father over for tea with us. It'd be interesting for us to learn about you before the war!" She smiled genuinely although I realized she was prying—although she was very good at going about it discreetly.

"He's quiet. We were on the light side of course," I assured her stricken face, "It's just that I'm gaining bits of my memory still, and I still don't remember how I ended up in the battlefield…. My Father is a quiet man. We haven't really talked about it yet." I lied through my teeth. I knew exactly what happened, but that was my business.

"Well, invite him over anyways. We like to get to know the parents and such," said Mrs. Weasley, walking towards the den, tiny package in hand. "I actually didn't meet him. Remus let him in, and the two of you were out of here before I could bat an eye!"

She took a pinch of floo powder from the mantle on the fireplace and threw it in. "Just follow dear," she said smiling. I caught her eyeing my face before she got in. "The Burrow!" she yelled, and then she twirled into nothingness.

I sighed and looked around the room briefly before throwing floo powder in before me. It was bound to happen. They would get curious, but they wouldn't understand I was sure. I wasn't even sure I did. How could I tell people if I couldn't even convince myself it was right?


	22. Chapter 22

_Double Update because (yes there is a catch) I won't be updating until Friday. And because the next chapter is evil..._

_Also, I'm still looking for artists! C'mon! There must be some of you out there who don't think my story is too bad!_

_One more thing. **Grey's Anatomy** Season premiere, Thursday night. Be there, or be square, because it just... rocks!_

**Chapter 22**

"Happy Birthday dear Harry,

Happy Birthday to you!"

Fred and George's voices carried on long after the rest of us had ended the song, singing in competition. Fred's high note that sounded much like a chipmunk, outlasted Georges deep one and I saw George discretely hand Fred a sickle.

Harry stood above us on a chair, looking down on the quadruple decker cake. Its white icing was dirtied by different snippets such as candied broomsticks, or golden iced snitches, constantly moving. A yellow flower pattern was designed across the top for elegance although I wasn't sure quite why, seeing as it didn't fit in with the rest of the décor. Mrs. Weasley however, was quite proud of her home made cake, and flushed at the compliments she received; I knew better than to say anything.

"Make a wish Harry," said Charlie quietly. The former dragon tamer looked upon the sight lazily, his hair growing longer since he awoke.

Harry closed his eyes, his face looking gaunter every day, and drew in a deep breath. He blew out the candles with a giant huff, only two remaining.

"Two girlfriends Harry?" joked Bill. "Where are they hiding?"

Harry flushed slightly and blew out the remaining two candles. I watched as a Ron assisted him down from the chair. The Harry I knew was a lean handsome man, although he seemed a little ill.

"Are you feeling quite alright Harry?" asked Mr. Weasley as his plump wife began to cut the cake.

Harry nodded his head and gave a weak smile. "I'm a little tired from all the… erm excitement."

"Well maybe after we open the presents we can take you back to Grimmauld… actually, you can just stay here I suppose. There is plenty of room!" His laugh bellowed a little bit, and Mr. Weasley's shiny balding head bounced back and forth.

"That's right Harry," said Fred. "And we have the guest room remember? For our guests of course!" He motioned to Hermione and me, and I noticed both Ron and Hermione flush.

"Although, we may only need the one bed hey Hermione?" George gave her a little nudge in the ribs and she flushed even deeper.

"Oh hush up. I've never…" she mumbled off and turned back to the cutting of the cake, where Mrs. Weasley (who had obviously been listening) cut Hermione a rather small slice.

I took the piece handed to me and sat down silently in-between Harry and Ron.

Small talk was made as we sat at the Weasley's long table. I looked out the double doors into the backyard, which appeared a little frumpy. The flowers that lined the yard were overgrown, but it seemed to have a homey affect. I turned back to my cake as the conversation met my ears.

"… we also have a present for a group of people. Harry included," said Bill.

"Well I think we should open up all of Harry's other presents first before you show us up," said Mr. Weasley, laughing slightly. The twins grinned.

Although I hadn't noticed it before, a rather large pile of presents was sitting to the right of the fireplace, mine included. I assumed it had been moved there at one point during our trip, possibly by a house elf. After finishing our cake, we ambled over to the living room, and Mrs. Weasley handed Harry his presents.

Nothing too surprising came up, and I must say that my present fit in rather well for being bought only an hour before I came. Hermione extended to Harry a rather long book on the war and its history. She insisted it was good for his "spiritual health." Harry had laughed and laid it down on its side.

Ron, Bill, and Charlie had pooled their money together and gotten Harry a rather large gift; the replaceable heads for his broomstick allowed him different strengths and if anything would add to his ability. The thicker one, for example, was meant for bad weather and was used for balance, whereas the thin bushel was meant for speed and aerodynamics on a day with ideal weather conditions. The total of ten interchangeable heads brought a smile to Harry's face, and he thanked them graciously.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had purchased Harry a picture frame—picture included. The picture contained everyone but Percy and I, and brought tears to Harry's eyes, although they did not quite spill over. He held it to his chest for a moment before placing it close to him on the floor, and pulling the newly knitted jumper over his head.

My present came next, and he smiled while opening up the bag of candy, and thanked me genuinely. Although my gift was not as sentimental as most had been, or expensive, I was quite pleased with the result.

Seeing as Percy didn't provide a present (such short notice he had claimed), Ginny's was last before Fred and George's. She handed him a rather small package, a card with a small heart on it attached. Harry read the card quickly and laughed out loud before putting it aside.

He opened the parcel eagerly, on a roll now, and found a chocolate frog inside. He frowned.

"Open it up," said Ginny smiling. She gesticulated with her hands for a moment, and then flustered with Harry's speed, or lack there of, snatched it from him and ripped the carton off the top.

"Hey," Harry objected, and grabbed it back. He removed the frog and ate it slowly, making slow, exaggerated movements with his mouth, and closing his eyes in sheer delight. "Nice present Gin," he said, his mouth full of chocolate.

"That's not the present you git! Look inside!" She snorted rather loudly and smacked her hands together in impatience.

Harry meticulously opened each flap of the box; his slender fingers lean like he rest of his body. I gasped at what he pulled out. Harry Potter was staring at Harry Potter, on a chocolate frogs collectable card.

"You've got to be joking me!" exclaimed Ron. He looked to Ginny for confirmation. "Seriously!"

Ginny smiled. "Original isn't it? It was bloody hard to manage, but that is the first _ever _mass produced Harry Potter collectible card ever made!" She grinned wickedly. "I so totally win!"

Harry, however, didn't look too pleased. He smiled politely, and laughed at Ron's amazement, but didn't appear to be overjoyed.

"You don't like it!" Ginny accused, her face falling into a pout. She immediately recollected her thoughts in a shrill voice. "I knew I should've gone with the poster! All men like posters. And Fire Whisky! Uh! I am such a total…" she rambled off.

"No Gin! It's great! Really. I'm just surprised that's all." He laughed but it sounded forced, and everyone knew it. "Now where to put a picture of myself," he said jokingly.

The mood lightened a little bit, but Ginny kept glaring at everyone throughout the rest of the conversation, as if it was our fault that Harry didn't like his present.

"Our turn!" said Fred. "This is more of a family present." He sprung up from the couch and led us to the main hallway in the house. We had already seen it quite thoroughly, but it seemed impossible to have missed the large black curtain, echoing the earlier one.

"Concealment charm," said George smiling discreetly. "Ready Fred?"

"Ready George."

In one smooth motion they grabbed the curtain and pulled it down. In front of us stood a clock. It was not just any clock however.

It had many hands, and instead of the time, it listed where or how someone was. Through the glare of the glass in the afternoon sunlight I found it hard to read the hands, which clearly had writing on them.

They were names. Every single Weasley was on that clock, including the pompous Percy Weasley, and the reddening Ron. Harry stood in shock. I had never seen Harry truly cry before that moment. There had been tears of grief or frustration, but never joy. I had seen a shimmer behind his lids, or a gloss that never seemed to fade, but to actually witness him break down was immense. A single teardrop rolled down his cheek as he too read the hands on the face of the clock.

"Harry," he said simply. I looked closer and found Harry's name pointing to a little circle reading _Safe_.

"Harry? Harry, don't cry," Ginny shuffled sideways and gave him a tight squeeze. "You'll always be part of the family you know," she said with a sideways grin.

"What an excellent gift," I said quietly. "It's absolutely superb."

Fred and George beamed and Harry nodded, obviously too overwhelmed to say this for himself. Harry had never been one to show things. He had a monotone expression that was suitable for all occasions, and he never ceased to tire of it although we did. For him, emotion was a weakness. It was a power one couldn't control, and his feelings could only be read on a very rare occasion. I think that might have been the only true emotion I had ever witnessed Harry show.

§

The house was quiet that night. Harry, Hermione and I had gone back to Grimmauld Place for the evening. The Weasley's had offered us rooms, but after seeing the joy in the family, Harry had kindly declined the offer, claiming that he felt more comfortable in his own home, although I knew the real truth.

Harry had wanted the Weasley's to spend the night together: just the Weasley's. He was a noble guy, and noble guys did stuff like that. So we proceeded home and went to bed, although Hermione continually glanced around her, as if waiting for Ron to come up behind her and kiss her on the head.

Harry sighed. "Hermione go back." She looked up at him startled, and adjusted her hair.

"Why would I do that?" she asked politely. Fidgeting slightly, she adjusted her sweater and wrapped her arms around herself.

"It's only nine o'clock, they'll still be up. Go sleep in the spare bedroom at the Burrow."

"Are you sure Harry?" Hermione chewed on her nail thoughtfully. "I don't have to."

"Yes you do," I said, "or else you're going to drive Harry and I insane with the constant looks about for _Ronnikens_…" She glared at me for a moment.

"Are you sure?" she turned back to Harry.

"Positive," said Harry nodding his head. She grinned and pulled up her cloak.

"I'm just going to grab my sleeping clothes and stuff and head over. Come over in the morning for breakfast okay? Eight o'clock sharp! What time do you have to be home Beth?" she said while bustling around the dining room.

"Lunch." I answered promptly.

"Alright. Eight is good then? Or nine? Whichever really. I'm sure we'll be up." With a final flushed grin she rushed out of the room. I listened quietly for a few minutes. She bustled up and down the stairs twice, before I heard the familiar swoosh of the fireplace.

"Bed then?" I asked quietly.

"I think I'll read for a bit."

"Remus won't be home for another few hours Harry. You should go to bed. He will wake you up you know." I was slightly annoyed at his attitude. It was contradictive and flat.

"I know that. I just don't feel like going to bed, that's all."

I stared at him boldly from across the table. "What was wrong with the chocolate frog card?"

He looked back up at me before looking back to his twiddling thumbs, "Nothing was wrong with it, it was an excellent gift."

"You didn't show you felt that way."

"I was a little shocked. Have you read what it says about me on there?" I shook my head and he placed it on the table. I reached out for it and as I did my sleeve came up on my jacket. I hastily withdrew it, but not before he noticed. Harry's eyes examined me under knit brows and he pushed the card closer to me. I picked it up, careful to not reveal the bruise on my arm.

"Thanks. The nail polish… it really smells." I smiled briefly and picked up the card.

_Harry James Potter, savior to the wizarding world twice, was born on July 31st 1980. He…_

I didn't continue reading, but looked up at his face, which was stone still, and focused on me.

"Stop looking at me like that," I said fiercely.

"Fine."

"Good."

I tried to continue reading, but Harry kept staring. I sighed. "I'm going to bed," I stated. I dropped the card down on the table and pulled my sleeves tight around the palms of my hands.

"G'night Beth."

I swaggered through the door (yes, it was a bit of a swagger). "Good night Harry."


	23. Chapter 23

_This chapter is rated a little higher for sexual references and abuse; you've been warned._

**Chapter 23**

"I know you," he said. His face was hollow and daunting, staring at me like a prowling animal.

"_No! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry, please don't. I promise, never again," I said. He came towards me arms outstretched. I couldn't run anywhere. It was black. He grabbed my shoulders and I beat against his chest._

_He towered over me, tall and strong. The ideal picture of a man, but without the heart of anything. My Father scowled._

"_You don't deserve this," he said. "I should give you away, or try to pay someone to take you."_

"_Don't! I'm sor—"_

_There was a harsh sound and my cheek stung._

"_Don't ever interrupt me," he said. I looked down. "You're a murderer and a bloody slut."_

"_I'm sorry," I whispered. "I know and I'm sorry."_

"_Will you do better next time Bethany?"_

"_I'll try," I whimpered._

"_Trying isn't good enough. Your Mother never tried. She just did. It was when she _tried_ to have you that she failed. Trying will never get you anywhere, Bethany!" _

_His face changed to Healer Presley's and he started to laugh. It was a laugh that echoed in my head and I covered my ears and started to scream. I had to drown out the noise. Healer Presley held up a mirror that showed my face. I saw me, and then my reflection turned black. He was gone. I was alone._

_Then Ginny was there. She was yelling at me, but I couldn't decipher what she was saying. She was yelling and screaming, her ears a faint scarlet and her freckles purple with rage._

_"…kill my friend! That's what you could've done! A murderer twice over is what you are! Bloody Hell Beth!" She continued to scream at me, and Harry's face revolved in my mind._

_Then I was in a glass box, but I couldn't see out. People were laughing at me, and they had removed their masks to do it. They were talking in low voices about testing before they disappeared and I couldn't see out. I was trapped inside a small box. I couldn't breathe_.

_I started to yell. Would no one help me? Why would they leave me in the dark? _

"_Help!" I yelled over and over again until my voice was hoarse._

"_Beth!" a voice said. "Beth we're here!"_

"_Where?" I screamed. "Where are you? Why won't you help me?" The girl lying dead in the field beside me was suddenly at my face._

"_You killed me Beth," she said. Her brown hair was still matted and bloody. "You're a murderer."_

"_No! I didn't mean to; I'm not!"_

_The voice started to yell again. Over and over it repeated itself._

"_Beth! Beth! Beth!"_

_§_

A gentle tapping on my shoulder caused me to open my eyes. The screaming that had been pounding in my ears stopped. Remus sat beside me on my bed. He looked down on me with a frown.

"Are you okay Beth? It was just a nightmare. Nothing more than that." I was still panting heavily, and slightly disoriented. I sat up and leaned my head on the bed board.

"I think I caught Harry's disease," I said faintly. Remus let out a short laugh and the mood lightened. Just a nightmare. It was only a nightmare.

"I'm fine. Sorry. I probably woke you up right?" It was still dark outside, and a little bit of moonlight caressed the end of my bed. There were fresh scars lain across Remus' face, and he grimaced a little bit when he spoke. The compassion I felt for him overwhelmed me, and I immediately willed him to be out of pain.

"It's alright, you didn't wake me. It was lucky I walked in the house when I did. Nightmares can be terrible things." Remus smiled and patted my shoulder. "Are you alright to go back to sleep?"

I nodded. "Sorry," I said. I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"You aren't seeing things are you?" Remus asked.

"What?" I said, thoroughly confused.

"It's just—never mind," he said and let out a little laugh. "Harry used to see things when he was dreaming and for a moment there I was relating him to you."

"I'm sorry. You can go back to bed."

"Are you sure you'll be all right?" asked Remus. "I was doing this a few nights ago with Harry and now you. He insisted he was fine, but woke up again an hour later. Are you going to be alright?"

I nodded my head. "Go to bed Remus. I'll be fine. It was just a dream. A bad dream, but a dream none-the-less."

He nodded and pushed himself up from the mattress. "But you won't hesitate to come get me will you?"

"Goodnight Remus."

He sighed. "Goodnight Beth."

He left the room and closed the door. For a moment the only thing that was visible was my wand, still glittering on the bedside table, but my eyes adjusted to having no light from the hallway and I could see the outline of things. I got out of bed and walked over to the window. My throat hurt from my screaming. I looked out at the moonlight and then caught my reflection in the glass. My skin had healed a little more, but even though the bruises had faded, I was still hideous. My cheek wasn't as swollen anymore, but still clung to my skull like a saggy pillow.

The gash that ran from my temple to my cheek was no longer bleeding but had turned a shade of purple I could never describe. It hurt to touch, although it could be from the movement I performed in my sleep. I might've hit my face on the headboard. I moved a lot and all the blankets had been twisted tight. My eye was no longer bloodshot, and thankfully looked normal.

I lifted up my shirt and peeled off the sweaty bandages. The three gashes were there to stay. It seemed that although the bruising had faded on my waist, the cuts were never going to fade. I traced the small scar above below my breast where a wand had been plunged and withdrawn. The only thing about me that might heal was that small scar.

Without replacing the bandages I sat down against the wall, resting my head against it. The moonlight had moved from my bed to the floor. I stared at it. The moon was a constant thing. It was there every night as scheduled. I needed a moon. I need something to follow.

The door creaked open. The lanky body that walked in was dark and shadowed. Was he sleep walking?

"Harry?" I whispered.

"Couldn't sleep," he mumbled.

"Me either."

He limped over and looked out the window beside me.

"I heard you screaming," he said quietly.

"Sorry."

There was silence again. He turned and slid his back down the wall. He looked long and hard at my arm, which I had tucked into my body. His hand slipped away from his own and made it's way down my bruised one. His fingers delicately pried them away and I didn't struggle. He traced the purple hand on my wrist before sighing and placing it back in my custody.

"Did he hurt you?"

I turned and faced the other way. Why did he care? I hesitated before answering. "Only sometimes. It's accidental I think. He loves me."

Harry was quiet and pondered before he spoke. "Anyone who hurts you doesn't really love you."

"What do you know?" I replied fiercely. I didn't move however. I felt too stiff.

"Not much," he replied. "But Remus doesn't hurt you. Hermione and Ginny don't hurt you."

I struggled to stand up. I wanted to get away from him. Why was he being so nosy? Why did he care?

"Leave me alone."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"You had a great birthday, and we're going out for breakfast or something. You should get a good rest. Leave."

"I'm not leaving."

"Why not? What can you possibly do?" I hissed. "There is nothing wrong with my life. He _does_ love me, contrary to what you think. I don't want to change anything, so just leave."

"You were yelling about your mum Beth. Why were you yelling?" His voice was cold and flat.

"Leave Harry!" I wiped my cheeks dry with my hand and turned the other way.

"No."

"Why not? Why do you care?" I hissed. "I'm not even pretty! I'm disfigured, and I—" I sobbed and gasped for breath. Why couldn't he just go? I tucked my knees up into my chest. "Shove off!" I hissed. "Just go away."

"I can't."

"Why not? You can walk."

"Well, I have this people saving thing."


	24. Chapter 24

_Oh! Oh! So this is one of my favorite chapters, so I hope you enjoy! Actually, this whole last bit of my story (it's almost over!) is my favorite, and personally I think it's some of my best writing, if I do say so myself. If you can't tell, I'm rather proud of myself for finishing a fic. :) Please excuse the obnoxious-ness._

_Also, I hate giving special recognition to reviewers through chapters. I try to reply to all of you in turn, so please don't get mad if you havent received a reply for your review yet! It'll come! However, today I have decided to make a tiny change. This is my first and final shout in a chapter; it is for_ **dekad.ente** _who is actually in the process of translating my story to German, so that it can be read in a different language, which I think is sooo cool! It's fabulous, and wonderful, and all those good things, and I'm so honoured that you think my story worthy of taking up your time and being translated, so thanks so very much._

_And finally, I lied. I said I would post tomorrow, but I'm actually posting a day early because the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy was so great that I can't sleep. So to make up for posting off schedule, I'll do another update tomorrow evening like I said. Alright? Good. I think I've drabbled enough, so carry on!_

**Chapter 24**

We spent the rest of the night sitting on the floor. At one point I had maneuvered myself to a position where my head was in his lap as he leaned his back against the wall. I didn't sleep, but enjoyed the warmth of his body close to mine.

The sun began to filter into the room and I realized how sore I was from lying on the floor all night. For the first time I stole a glance at Harry's face. His head was forward and I was surprised that he had fell asleep in such an awkward position. His hair had flopped over his brow in a long fringe, and the corners of his mouth were perked upwards, the left side twitching every once in a while.

I slowly pushed myself up off the floor, my body protesting the movement. Carefully I moved away from Harry, and lifted myself to a sitting position. I gulped quietly and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Harry," I whispered. His head popped up and I immediately felt bad for waking him. It was one of the first peaceful sleeps he had had in many nights I was sure. "Do you want to crawl into bed?" I whispered. He nodded and heaved himself up off the ground much too quickly for a person who had spent the night sleeping upright. He extended a hand and I grasped it tightly.

He walked over to my bed and opened the covers motioning for me to get in. I gaped for minute, and then shook my head. He wanted me to sleep… with him? I yawned.

"Get in," he hissed rather quietly. I shook my head again. "Get into bed Beth. I'll go to mine." He frowned and rubbed his head. I tiptoed forward and ducked beneath the arm that was holding the comforter up for me. I crawled in, not looking at him all the while, and laid my head down on my pillow. I imagined it to be Harry's leg, and closed my eyes.

§

I woke up, my room flooded with light, and a banging at my door.

"It's eight thirty Beth," said Remus through the wall. " I told Hermione we'd be there by nine instead of eight. You didn't sleep well last night, so I let you sleep a bit longer. Will you have enough time?" I nodded my head, and realized he couldn't see me.

"Yes," I replied through the door. "I'll just take a quick shower. Are we eating at the Burrow?" I skipped out of bed and managed to grab a set of clothes while speaking. Pulling my sleeve down around my palm, I opened the door.

"We're going out actually," said Remus smiling. "There is a new restaurant in Diagon Alley, and Percy has insisted on taking us there." His face looked even more weathered in the daylight, and the fresh scrapes across his cheeks and collarbone made my heart ache.

"I'll be ready quick," I said, not able to tear my eyes away from his appearance.

He looked away and I came aware of my stare. "It was a long night," he said slowly. "I'm quite sure I got in a scrap." He laughed. "The wolf didn't have a chance I'm afraid. So much for my furry little problem." I leaned into him for a hug and gave him a kind smile.

"Ron thinks his scar makes him look dashing."

"Does he now?" asked Remus. "That's interesting."

"Well, with all yours, you look ten times more. I'm going to go get ready." I turned and padded across the landing, and when I peeked back I saw Remus still standing there, tracing the scars on his face, a small smile making it's may out from underneath.

§

Harry shot me looks all through the hustle and bustle at the Burrow. I prayed with all my heart he wouldn't say a word. Everyone was rushing around the new home, lost in the maze of newly applied toilet paper rolls, and lost hairbrushes. Harry hadn't said a word about my dreams, or my home life yet. He had only said a few words to me that morning which included "Hello" and "You look awful." It was true. Purple bags swelled underneath my eyes from lack of sleep and I leaned on every available wall, laying my lashes on my cheeks and praying for mental peace.

"Come now people," said Percy's shrill voice from the fireplace. "The reservation is shortly after nine! Not after death!"

"Shut up you fowl git," said Bill, scratching his bed head. "We're coming." Sure enough everyone filed into the room. Ginny was scratching her ear, and was looking much more put together than the rest of her family. Her hair was tied back in a professional ponytail and she seemed quite content with herself. Her brothers all had miserable bed head, and Hermione was quite happy to fuss over Ron and his grungy look.

Percy stepped to the shabby fireplace and pulled some powder from the flowerpot on the mantle.

"Edmund's Breakfast Eatery," said Percy briskly. He stepped into the fireplace and disappeared. We followed in an orderly fashion; Harry and I last to leave. He grabbed my shoulder as Hermione shot up the chimney. I flinched.

"We need to talk." I looked into his piercing gaze and turned my head away.

"We really don't," I said. I pulled my shoulder out of his grasp and turned to go to the floo when he turned me around again.

"I can't let you go home; I have to tell someone."

"And I'll deny it and everyone will think you've finally gone bonkers. I'm fine Harry." Before he could object I rushed to the fireplace and through the powder in.

"Edmund's Breakfast Eatery!" I exclaimed loudly. The spinning and twirling round and round made me want to lose whatever was left in my stomach from the night before, but I managed to stumble out at the other end with only soot on my shirt.

I was in a restaurant entryway, the fireplace behind me looking like no more than a picture of one. I rushed to the group of redheads at the front and listened to Percy's pompous voice explain to the waitress about their reservation. The blue room was nothing special, but the waitress was dressed in an older fashion, her robes covered in frills and a rather pink cotton bonnet covering her head.

Harry walked up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and shuffled beside Hermione, my head facing downwards. When I brought it up, Ginny was glaring at me. We shuffled in; Percy obviously sorted out the seating ordeal with the waitress, and sat down at a rather long cumbersome table. The dark wood appeared to have been stabbed many times, and the chairs were quite cushy.

The comfortable atmosphere was nice as a one of the finest dressed house elves I had ever seen approached our table. She snapped her fingers and fine cutlery appeared on the table.

"My name is Tinny, and I will be your server this morning," she squeaked. "Will you be order dining, or all you can eat?" Everyone looked to Percy.

"All you can eat I should think," he said. Fred patted him on the back.

"You just earned back a bit of my love."

Everyone got out of their chairs and approached the rather long buffet table. Harry walked behind me, and whispered into my ear. "Don't you feel like someone is watching us?" I took a quick peek around before shaking my head. He was being paranoid. Nobody was watching us.

Harry walked around me at a rather fast pace and tapped Ron on the shoulder, then echoed his movements on Hermione and finally Ginny. He whispered to each of them separately, and got the same response, a bit of laughter and a clap on the back. Harry smiled stiffly and picked up a plate from the buffet table.

I followed in suit, but felt around for my wand first, which was sitting in my back pocket, just in case.

I was almost finished filling my plate when a clatter came from the front of the restaurant. I turned my head much too quickly and froze at the sight.

A line of death eaters were standing in the front entrance, each with wand in hand: dueling position. The masks that covered their faces were shabby looking, and many had scuffmarks, or holes. They were not as prim as I remembered, each wearing a very dirty robe and a looking rather weary on their feet. Only two of them seemed to be fully alert, each holding their wand slightly higher, and their faces underneath stone still with fury.

The bistro broke into chaos. Mothers and children were ducked underneath tables and chairs and into bathrooms. Older men seemed too afraid to move, sitting in their chairs staring at the death line with the obvious feeling of deja vu. My plate clattered to the floor like many others in the room and I stared at the row wide eyed. My head was spinning with confusion.

Voldemort was dead! Why were these people just standing there, causing so much distress? Was it some kind of sick horrible joke? The group behind me stood stone still and I could feel power radiating from that direction. A hand pushed me roughly aside and I moved as if a robot, unaware and unassuming.

A mop of black hair stepped in front, taking control of the situation entirely. The room didn't go silent, but screams were hushed down, and it seemed that even the screaming drooling babies felt the tense atmosphere.

"What do you want?" His voice was low, growling almost.

"Where is he?" A drawling slimy voice made it's way out from behind one of the two alert death eaters. He pushed his way through rather smoothly, like a snake. The man was tall, and his black eyes sparkled with anticipation through his mask.

"Who?" asked Harry, his voice dangerous.

"The Dark Lord. We want to know where you've put him. He'll find us before long you know." This time the voice was high and shrill. The female's hands were shaking as her wand jittered up and down. "Can you hear us master? _We_ are here! All that's left! _We_ remain faithful!"

Harry sighed, a long grueling sigh that stated attitude. "Dead. Sorry. Can't really help you—unfortunately I can't bring back the dead… not that I would want to in this particular case." I watched from behind as he drew his wand slowly out of his back pocket. I was surprised he hadn't done it earlier.

"You lie." The slimy voice accused Harry particularly abusively, as if he had a lot of experience.

"No _Snape_, I don't. And have I ever told you that you smell? You do. Like sweaty socks," Harry snarled meanly. His immature insult seemed only to cause the man to recoup before replying.

""Well, it's better than being the son of a mudblood I suppose." The death eaters behind him laughed.

"Well that's rich, coming from a half-blood like yourself." His voice was deadly calm when he said it, and I waited for the resounding crack of a spell; I wasn't disappointed.


	25. Chapter 25

_If anyone would care to know, I am still looking for artists (if you have no clue what I'm talking about, go to my profile or previous chapters)! And, I will be putting out a new story shortly after this one is over, so watch for it. However, if you're sick of my writing I wouldn't hold it against you. _

_So this is it. The battle scene you've all been waiting for... well actually, it might not be, but that's beside the point. I'm quite proud of it, being my first actual fighting chapter, so nothing too harsh please! 5 chapters left!_

**Chapter 25**

"_Crucio_!" Snape bellowed, his voice echoing throughout the restaurant. Harry didn't say a word, but glared at the man who had cast the spell.

"You have to do bloody better than that!" He laughed. Those who hadn't already ducked for cover panicked and moved around the room, looking for shelter. The rest of the death eaters burst into action, firing spells and becoming mobile.

I jumped from a spell cast on me by a rather short witch—or so I assumed by the sound of her voice. I glared at her evilly.

"_Stupefy_!" she screamed. I moved again, now by myself in front of the buffet table. The rest of my wizarding family had moved out and beyond, battling and dueling with other death eaters, whose amount seemed to be growing at a rapid rate.

"_Expelliarmus_!" I wailed. She performed a shield charm and laughed.

"So sad that the younger generation never learned how to properly throw a—" she was cut off in mid sentence and stood shock still for a moment amidst the flying curses. Then she fell forward, petrified or dead I couldn't tell, flat on her face. Ron gave me thumbs up from behind my fallen foe.

I stooped low and scrambled over to one of the now turned over tables and ducked behind it for a moment. It acted as a small wall and I allowed myself a moment to think. Before I knew it there was more screaming. I peeked my eyes over the top and saw a death eater lying on the ground, squirming in obvious pain for a brief period before her comrade realized he was performing an illegal spell on one of his own. Not very smart, I thought. With no one to lead them, these people were like lost souls, or groupies without a … well group.

I turned to look for the nearest exit, and my eyes sought out a fireplace across to my left. It was my only hope. I took a deep breath and went to make a sprint for it when a screaming met my ears once again. It wasn't the shrill scream of a woman however, but the high-pitched cry of someone younger. I peeked over the table and saw a little girl, at least five years of age confused and distraught, clutching her wand underneath the table across from me.

"Bloody Hell," I murmured underneath my breath. If she weren't quiet soon, a death eater would surely change that permanently. I jumped over the table rather tactlessly and sprinted across the room at full force, praying for my sanity; I was positive that at this very moment, Merlin was laughing at me. I fell to my knees and covered the girl's mouth with my hand.

She looked up at me with piercing brown eyes, and a unibrow. Her hair was looking rather windswept and her chubby cheeks were covered with tears.

"Here's what we're going to do," I said, pausing briefly to look up. "See that fireplace?" I whispered. She nodded her head in the direction still yelling into my hand. "Excellent. That's where we're going. When we get there, you go in first—see the green flames, I think an accident knocked the full pot in. You… you have flooed before haven't you?" Her terrified face stared up at me wondrously. "Oh God. Umm, well jump in and scream 'the Burrow.' Do you understand?" She nodded gravely. "I'm going to take my hand off your mouth now alright, but you can't shout."

She didn't say a word after that. I watched Harry and Snape duel it out across the room, each mentally cursing the other and shielding only themselves from harm. It was an endless mental battle, and I was worried—until Snape went down.

"Go!" I hissed. I had waited for someone major to fall, and whether it would have been shrieking lady who was battling Remus and Mr. Weasley, or Snape I wasn't sure, but when one of them went down, I figured there might be panic, and it would give us a great distraction to escape.

She moved fast for such a pudgy child, and she scampered across the floor, keeping low like I told her. I followed close in pursuit, ducking behind tables and chairs, and staying near to the ground. I heard a shriek of instruction from behind me, and turned to see three death eaters walking briskly towards me. I wasn't sure if they had seen us, but they were headed in the direction we were. I grabbed the child's shoulder and motioned with my fingers for her to be quiet, all the while ducking beneath yet another overturned table.

"… block all the fireplaces. Why can't he do it? Git."

"Rules are rules. If he says he can speak to our Master, than so be it. I listen to him."

They passed our hiding spot and proceeded towards the fireplace, putting it out with a series of spells. My heart broke in two, and I stayed crouching, my thighs burning. The little girl looked at me hopeful, as if I might save her, but I was all out of ideas. The awful trio made their way back to Snape, thankfully avoiding our sanctuary.

I peeked over the top of the table like a coward. Spells were still flying everywhere. I saw Hermione and Ginny side by side in a duel with a rather tall wizard with gangly brown hair. His mask was half blown off, one side quite bloody. I ducked down again and saw the little girl was silently crying, snot hanging from her rather tiny nose.

"It'll be alright," I whispered. The words were more to convince myself than anyone else, but I didn't feel the confidence that sounded through my mouth. I peeked over the table again, and caught Remus falling. I let out a rather loud scream.

"Remus!" I yelled desperately. The witch he had been dueling turned to me and I knew I had blown our cover. "Stay down," I hissed out of the corner of my mouth. The kid curled herself up into a ball, her back against the table.

"Knew the bloody werewolf did you?"

"_Know_! I _know_ him!" I screamed.

"Right. _Know_. May as well make your last thoughts happy ones right? _Crucio!_"

She was quick and I tripped over the top of the table, shaking in pain. This woman was full of hate, and I felt it down to my core. Even my toes were vibrating.

"Oh God! Bloody God!" I sobbed. It stopped briefly and I curled my knees up. The room was still loud and my ears were burning.

"Do I know you?" the woman asked, her pointy teeth laugh through her mask. She stood above me, hands on hips, easily my superior. I knew in that moment, who she was.

"I try not to make a habit of getting to know evil thanks," I said sarcastically. I realized how dead I was when my voice echoed in my ears.

"Oh smart mouth are you?" she said. Her wand hand was completely relaxed and I felt mine poking into my back. I let out a groan and rolled over, as if in total pain. I snatched it up and screamed: "_Crucio_!"

She laughed at me. "Never tried one before have you girl? _Expelliarmus_!"

I rolled across the ground towards Remus, missing the spell narrowly. "_Imper_—" She laughed rather loudly and I couldn't help but stop in mid-curse. "You're an evil, deceiving toad!" I screamed with as much malice I could muster. Surprised I was still alive; I looked up at her once more.

She ripped off her mask and her dark hair hung over her brow in a sweaty line. Her eyes were dark and heavy lidded, and there was a slight gleam to them. Her skin was oily from sweat, and appeared to be dark and dirty. "I'm afraid that this was your last day." She cut herself off in mid-gloat and her head looked a little behind me.

I whipped my body around to see the little girl there, snot still hanging on her nose, her large eyes whining brightly.

"And who're you?" she said, still holding me at wand point.

"Don't hurt her!" I said loudly. My voice cracked and it was obvious how scared I was.

"Awh, sister or cousin or something?" She laughed. "I don't see the resemblance. _Avada Kedavra_!"

I watched in dismay as my little damsel ogled for a brief moment, her chocolate orbs flashed in shock and she shrieked in horror. Her body slumped backwards and I heard a death like crack from behind the overturned table.

I looked back at this woman's angular face and back at her feet. Rolling forward I grabbed at her ankles, and she let out a hiss before stumbling backwards and dropping her wand. I scrambled upright at the same space as she, and held my wand at her chest; hers was gripped tightly in her fingers in her left hand, which hung rather limply. She was much taller than I (but really, who wasn't?), and looked upon me.

"You think you can beat me girl?" she hissed. There was a sadistic nature to her voice and I looked directly at her face, with a piercing glare.

"Yes." I almost wet my pants.

"Ha!" She went to jump on a spell, but I beat her to it.

"_Silencio_!" I wasn't a wonderful spell, and I laughed for a moment—although I should've done something. Bound her up, or the like. She mouthed a few times before realizing she had no voice, and then smiled wickedly. Realizing how delayed I'd been on the uptake, she pointed her wand at me, and a flash of blue light came directly at torso.

Suddenly there was blood, piles and piles of blood, dripping everywhere from my body. I screamed and screamed while she turned away from me, laughing.

"_Expelliarmus_!" I shrieked. It hit her in the back, and her wand came flying to me. I caught it in my bloody hand, continuously screaming. She turned back.

"Not a good time girl." She paraded towards me, and I held up my wand. I began to feel dozy; my head was hard to hold up. Everything was turning red and I couldn't see.

"Do you think I can't perform magic without a wand… Bethany?" I gasped. "I remember now. You were _our_ girl! I thought you were going to turn out so well too." She shrugged and held out her hand in front, and pointed her palm upwards. "_Avada_—"

In a flash she went down, a man on top of her, pinning her to the ground. Harry's head of black hair was covered in sweat and I fell to my knees, the blood covering my body. I looked beside me at Remus.

His eyes were glossed over, but he blinked.

"Hi Remus," I whispered, my head falling on top of my arm. I lay on the ground beside him and continued to talk until I couldn't anymore.


	26. Chapter 26

_Okay here's how it works, want me to update on Tuesday? Then review when you visit. Alright? I expect at least 8. At least! Haha. I get almost 100 hits per chapter, so it's sort've sad that I only get reviewed by three or four of those people... and yes, I do check the hits, because I'm a nerd 8-) Is it because I update too much? Because I can start updating once a week like everyone else... just kidding. I'm too excited to get my stuff out there!_

_ And although I don't like to advertise my own work, I've written a pretty funky one shot (Numb), so if you've got the time, give it a visit._

_Anyways, on with it then._

**Chapter 26**

Members of the ministry came in not long after that, and I lay there immobile but quite awake, my body set into shock. I looked at Remus, also immobile and counted the space between his blinks.

Ten seconds. Seven… four… I held my breath every time he closed his lids and prayed for them to open again. There was no visible damage, but his features had a rather pale pallor, and his cheekbones stuck out of his incredibly gaunt face.

I had laid there for what seemed like forever, gathering in a pool of my own blood. I could see my reflection in it, and at that point I was positive I was going to die. The pool got larger and larger until I couldn't support my head, and rolled onto my back, no longer able to see Remus' face. My robes were absorbing it, and I felt filthy. I was going to drown in a pool of my own blood.

I gradually lost feeling in my toes and up my legs. Finally there was someone talking to me. I couldn't see their face. He was talking rather quickly and I stared up at him dazed. I blinked, and he turned and shouted, and looked at me again, shaking his head bewildered.

"Sleep…" I whispered. His face came into a golden haze.

"What?" he said, his face confused. "Look miss, we're going to help you the best we can, but I need you to try and stay awake." He looked at me closely and I saw his eyes were green.

"Pain… let sleep," I said again, trying to make my point clear. My lips felt much to big for my face, but why was he scratching his head? I felt my shoulders lifted first, and then my body down all the way to my feet. Why couldn't he understand me?

"I think she might have been attacked up here," the man said, motioning to his head. A rather large woman was now standing over me, apparently his assistant.

"No!" I said a little louder. "Hell- p pain." I knew my words were incomprehensible, as they looked at me oddly.

"We're going to get help alright sweetie? Just keep talking," she ordered. I wanted to smack her big fat face!

"Make me sleep!" I groaned. " Get Remu— No pain!" My words were loud now, and my voice was scratchy and desperate.

"I think we should put her under," said one. _Yes!_ I thought, _but get Remus first._

Everything moved and flipped. I started to see elephants and owls and monkeys, and I groaned. Everything swirled into a sweet void.

§

I groaned and moved, letting my lids open on their own time. The room grew increasingly familiar except for the light curtains on either side. Numerous vials and containers sat on the dresser to my right. To my left was a dresser stocked to the top with cards and candies of some sort. A rather awkward button floated in mid air.

The ceiling was speckled with white, and I managed to blink a few times, getting used to the light.

I awkwardly maneuvered myself to a sitting, breathing heavily. I extended my arm to press it, and realized I was covered in bandages. They were wrapped up both arms. I lifted up the sheets and saw that both my legs were as well. I sighed and pushed the red button hard.

Immediately there were two people in my room, each in violent lime green robes.

"We'll let your father see you in a moment Beth. I'm Healer Greene," said the woman. She had gorgeous dark skin, and her green eyes slanted on her face, heavily lined in black kajul. Her assistant was a scrawny little thing, with cheekbones up to her temple. She blinked at a rapid rate, her auburn hair tied back in a messy bun.

"I need to see," I gulped and the soreness of my throat struck me. "What day…?"

"It's August seventh Beth. Now I need you to tell me, are you sore or itchy anywhere?" She held a clipboard close to her large bosom and smiled kindly.

"I… I'm fine. I need to see Harry and Remus," I panicked. "Oh God! Remus! Where's Remus!" My heart skipped a beat as I screamed his name. "He was hurt. He's a werewolf I need—REMUS!" I screamed. I swore I heard him answer, but it could've been in my head. There were suddenly dots scattered in my line of sight. My arms flailed widely and my cheeks burned.

"Beth! Beth!" Her voice was surprisingly loud, and the trainee healer walked towards the bed. She grasped my hands with her bony fingers and smiled. "Everyone's fine. I need you to answer the doctors' questions first, and then we'll answer yours."

She continued to rub the top of my hand as I answered all the questions about where I lived and what I last remembered. She asked my name and my birthday and personal questions I would never have answered if someone else had asked them. After looking at her clipboard a final time she dropped it to her side and looked upon me from the end of my bed.

"Now Beth, what do you need to know?"

My pulse raced but I gulped in a large breath of air. "My friend Remus Lupin. He was hurt, I need to see him."

The healer gave me a broad smile. "That I can do." She strolled over to the curtain on my left and pulled it backwards. It revealed Remus, in all his glory, bandaged to under his armpits, but otherwise alive.

I burst into tears. "I was counting, you were blinking! And then—and then they couldn't understand…" I trailed off, my breath coming in large gasps. Remus gave his grim smile and I saw a tear roll down his cheek.

"We're alright Beth. I'm here and I'm quite fine. Stop crying… please." His voice was deep from his stomach.

"I—I just," I stuttered. "Okay." I let out a sigh and hiccupped. I wanted to spring out of bed and go and hug him, but I couldn't feel my toes. The healer went to close the curtain and I jumped.

"Don't! Please," I lowered my voice. "Please don't close it." She looked at Remus.

"Is that okay with you Mr. Lupin?" He nodded his head, as I knew he would and I grinned helplessly, the salty taste of tears on my lips.

"Erm… why can't I feel my toes?" I asked quietly. The healer looked back at me grimly and stood professionally at the end of my bed.

"The hex that was thrown at you caused a lot of nerve damage." I looked at her startled and she quickly continued. "You will be fine, but the cuts will sting quite badly when we take the numbness off, however, because you are awake you can take a pain killing potion. We couldn't do it to you while you were asleep because chances were slim that you would wake up because it is such a heavy medication. However, like I said, there will be some potions you will take now that you are awake because the circumstances are different. Is that it?"

"Is it… will it leave scars?" I asked quietly. I hoped Remus wouldn't over hear.

"Only on your forearms. Your face and legs might have thin white lines for a while, but they'll grow fainter, and we actually are quite experienced with tiny scars. Unfortunately, your arms are cut deeper, so when all is said and done, you'll probably have a few faint lines, but nothing very noticeable. Anything else?"

I shook my head and she smiled. "My trainee—I'm sorry, this is trainee Healer Rose," the red head waved ecstatically from behind the Healer. "She'll be administering your medications. You'll heal quite fine." I nodded.

They left the room quietly and I looked over at Remus, whose head was leaned back on the pillows, his eyes closed and slightly dozing.

"Remus?" I whispered.

"Yes?" he said, his eyes still closed.

"Has my Father been here?"

He looked at me briefly, and then turned back. "Yes, he has. So have Harry and everyone else. They're constantly coming back and forth between your room and George's. He was stabbed, but he'll be fine," he reassured me hastily. "No one was… seriously hurt."

I knew from his voice something was wrong. He had always been stressed to a point beyond belief, but his voice was not just stress or over protection, it was a deep pain.

"Remus?" I said again.

"Hmm?"

"Who died?"

There was a silence as he didn't move for a moment and confirmed my worst fears. Remus opened his eyes and pushed himself up in a sitting position. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and limped over to mine. He grunted while sitting down, and when I leaned forward to give him my arm he shook his head. He managed to get as comfortable as one could get. Turning to look at me, Remus pulled himself a little closer.

"Ginny, Hermione, and most of the Weasley children are fine."

"_Most_?" Fear coursed through me.

Remus took a deep breath. "… Bill was hit with the killing curse. He couldn't dodge it."

I gasped and hot tears streamed down my cheeks. "Hell." I whispered. I couldn't believe it. He was gone. My scar faced ally and dancing partner had left this world for good. I gulped in a deep breath of air, my face burning.

"He… we think he's happier Beth," Remus said, now crying. "He's with his bride now, remember?" He smiled sadly through his tears.

I pulled a pillow from behind my head and plunged my face into it, bawling.

"No!" I screamed into it. "No, no, no, no!" The muffled screams in my ears were painful to hear, and pain chopped my heart in half.

"Beth?" I looked at him. "Don't do anything stupid. Not for Harry, or the Weasley's, but for yourself. Just promise me."

I stared at him, confused yet totally aware. _He knew_. "Promise."

Remus paused for a moment, looking into another world. His gray eyes looked me out. "His funeral—"

I cut him off. "There isn't a funeral! He's NOT dead! Do you hear me?" I put the pillow to my face and screamed again. Remus moved forwards and pulled my body towards him. I took the embrace with what little dignity I had left, and cried into his shoulder.


	27. Chapter 27

_I have nothing to say to the 128 of you who didn't review but to those of you who did, thanks! I feel guilty for killing Bill, if that's any consolation whatsoever however, for all you girls out there who have been begging Harry/Beth... I know you'll forgive me. :)_

_Warning: Bittersweet chapter up ahead!_

_I'll be updating Thursday!_

**Chapter 27**

I had already seen my Father, and he seemed quite relieved I was all right, although I could tell that underneath his calm, smooth surface, he was boiling with rage. I could see the explanations now, and I knew it was not long before he banned me from seeing them. I took his hugs with remorse and regret because I knew what was behind them.

Harry came and visited me later that day, his eyes red and puffy. He was perfectly well, and had not been hit by one curse. His opponent however, was not so well off. He had killed one person, and the other had escaped. Snape had gotten away, faking death and disapparating. Bellatrix Lestrange however, did not fare so well. After I had fallen, Harry had committed one of the worst offences in the wizarding world.

"I killed her by the same curse that killed my parents," he whispered, sitting on the end of my bed. "I murdered her. And it's not even hate that I killed her with…"

It was noon, and Bill's funeral was the next day. There were people wandering around the wards, delivering objects from loved ones, cards and flowers. I talked to Harry until two o'clock at least.

"She… she was a bad woman Harry. I don't think she deserved to live."

Harry ground his teeth together and looked down. "They hate me."

I looked up. "No one hates you Harry."

"Yes. I was responsible. I killed Bill." I sighed.

"You didn't kill Bill Harry, it… this stuff happens. It's not your responsibility to save the whole world you know." He glared at me for a moment and then I saw his gaze flip to my arms and back.

"You can't go back home. I won't let you."

I snorted. "You're crazy. There is nothing wrong with me going home. Little bruises. So what Harry? I don't want you to take away my home."

His gray t-shirt hung on him like a hanger, and his tiny frame seemed to be slouching under the pressure of his lifestyle. "It's not right. I lived in an… in a household like that Beth, and it's not right. Besides, the Weasley's won't let you either. They'll want to take you in. They'll want someone to…"

"Harry Potter!" He looked at me. "I will not— I _won't_ be Bill's replacement. They don't need a job t-to fulfill their time and help them live. They need time. They need to grieve and remember. _We_ need to take time to remember. They love you Harry," I took a deep breath. "Don't make it worse than it already is." He nodded his head and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. It seemed like I was always crying.

Harry stood up and walked over to me. He gently placed his hand on my chin, cupping it, and tenderly wiped the tear from my cheek with his other hand.

"Don't." I turned away.

"Why are you so…?" Harry shrugged his shoulders. I pulled my knees up to my chest.

"…I don't want to be your pity project Harry. It's like… it's like what you said about me being a replacement for Bill. Nothing can replace a person like that. It's like me. You love to be the hero Harry, and you can't deny it, and it _is_ your weakness. It won't be me, who is your damsel, your something to distract you from the real world, because as soon as someone else comes along in ten times as much pain as I am in, you'll rush to their aid, leaving me in the dust. I'm ugly, and I'll always be wrong in some way, and I'm…I'm just your pity project and—" I gasped a little. "I can't be Harry. I just can't."

He shook his head and walked out of the room.

§

Bill's funeral was a somber, guilty affair. Clothed in black it was like we walked into a room of darkness. Candles were lit in scattered places, floating along the walls. We all came in separately having been allowed to leave the hospital earlier that day. My father had not said anything about the situation, except that he would accompany me to the funeral.

His hand on my shoulder, my Father led me to where we would sit—his choice. Mrs. Weasley bustled up to us, a kerchief in hand.

"You're sitting with us dear," she said hushed. Her voice was very quiet, and I thought that she might burst into tears any second. "I'm sorry, there aren't enough seats, we didn't know you Father was coming, or else we would have… I'm sorry, Molly Weasley." She held out her hand but my Father simply nodded his head.

"I'm sorry for your loss Madame," he said stiffly. Mrs. Weasley burst into tears and pulled me into a tight hug. I glared at my Father over her shoulder.

"You-'re there," she said, pointing to the third row. My Father nodded his head, and proceeded that way while I held Mrs. Weasley's hand and made it appear as though she was leading me to my spot, not the other way around.

Her black veil covered her eyes which I knew were read and puffy and she brought herself to a silent reservation as I gave her a final departing hug and walked to the other end of the bench and sat down beside Harry.

The reception hall they chose was gorgeous although bathed in gloomy shadows. The marble walls had a sparkles engraved in them. Bill's casket sat at the front of the room on a black pedestal, closed. A picture of his face was floating in an oak frame above it, a beautiful platinum blonde smiling beside him, her head on his shoulder.

At the end of the row I leaned over discreetly. Harry to my left had his face in his hands while on his other side Ron was a nasty shade of green. Hermione was leaning on his shoulder, her normally frizzy hair pulled back tight, her eyes glossy. Ginny sat in-between George on Fred, each one of the twins trying their best to comfort their sister, who was crying silently, tears rolling down her cheeks, one after the other like soldiers marching. Charlie and Percy were the last of the children, each with their heads leaning on a hand, gazing at the casket.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley leaned on each other, the usually splendid father quite distraught. His disheveled robes normally look out of place because of work or some other technical reason; but here he appeared to be unable to function. His red hair, now down to a bit of a fringe, was tousled and uncombed, and his spectacles were covered in little patches of dirt.

Mrs. Weasley was unreadable, her black veil and robe covering up any emotion other than the sniffing sounds coming from underneath. She had a single rose in her lap, and fingered it tenderly.

The ceremony started shortly after I sat down, and I found myself engrossed deeply in my own thoughts, willing my cheeks to stay dry. People began to speak at the small alter, Bill's friends and family. Everyone was crying, and at this point Ginny had collapsed onto Fred's shoulder.

During one particularly touching speech, Harry stood up abruptly and I saw his face for the first time that afternoon. It had been buried in his hands which had now moved to his pockets, and his hair hung rather lank, as if interpreting his mood.

"Harry…" murmured Hermione. She went to follow him and Ron clutched her arm tightly.

"Don't… just leave him be." Hermione nodded silently and sat down. Without looking towards Ron I stood up and slipped out after him, up the aisle and past my Father who seemed too distracted by the sniffling crowd to see my exit.

I opened the solid door soundlessly, and slipped through it.

He was standing on the white front porch of the hall, leaning on the railing. His hands were cupped together and his elbows balanced directly on the post, his back hunched and a breeze ruffling his hair.

"Harry?" I asked. He didn't turn to look at me. "Harry…" I repeated.

"Go away," he said.

"I—Harry, it's okay to be upset."

He lifted his arms up and masked his face with his hands. He didn't say anything for a moment, and then made a sound somewhat like a gasp. For a moment I thought he had sneezed, his whole body moving with the noise until he took away his hands and I saw the tears plastered on his cheeks.

I moved towards him and pulled his shaking body into an embrace. He held me closely and I rubbed small circles on his back, hoping to soothe him. Gradually his sobs turned into sniffled and we remained there, my head on his shoulder, his hands around my waist, gripping me tightly.

He let go finally, and wiped his face. He turned around and faced the setting sun. Its glorious rays bathed us in a color undefinable, contradicting the sadness that rested in our hearts.

"Harry…?" He didn't turn to look at me but merely nodded his head. "Do you… do you want to talk about it?" I said the last seven words so quickly that he turned to me, an eyebrow raised in questioning. I sighed, flustered and he shook his head and turned back to the sun.

"I feel... guilty," I started. "He died after I was attacked by that Lestrange lady. If I hadn't been all hopped up in getting that little girl home… she died you know." Harry looked at me. "The little girl that was bawling, that I was going to try to get to the fireplace—I drew attention to us. If I hadn't shouted for Remus, the girl… she probably would've lived."

I said these words with a strange sense of clam. My voice had a pallid tone, and was strangely out of synch with what I had told him.

"It's not your fault Beth. That… that doesn't even make sense." I looked at him.

"Sure it does! If I hadn't distracted her, or revealed where I was, she wouldn't have gotten all wound up, and I would've been conscious and able to help." I argued this with a sense of awareness.

"It's not your fault," repeated Harry mildly, and from me again.

"Than whose is it?" I whispered.

"No one's," Harry answered automatically. "It was an accident. That's all. A tragic Accident."

The silence overcame us once again. The rays of defined light began to fade and I found myself wishing they would come back, and that the hopeful light would bathe us in its glory once again, portraying so many things I could never explain: happiness, peace... anything. But it didn't.

"You don't believe that though, do you?" He had walked directly into my trap. The truth was, I knew we all felt guilt, and I knew it was buried deep in every singles person heart somewhere, but with Harry it sat first and foremost in his brain. He would feel this guilt until someone told him not to.

"I—I… you tricked me," he mumbled, a little bit of color returning to his cheeks. I moved up alongside him and leaned upon the railing. It gave a squeak, but I continued to place pressure on the old peeling beams.

"It's pretty isn't it?" I asked, pointing to the sunset. "It's almost as if… as if it's a reminder that you can start new tomorrow; it's a new page. Bill didn't die because of you Harry. He died because of some... some wickedness that still remains in the world." My anger came through my words, and I felt my cheeks flush with the rage I hadn't been able to relieve up until that point. I hadn't realized how angry I was. It boiled deep inside the pit of my stomach and the hot tears that now covered my face represented that. They burned upon my cheeks like an evil curse that affected my whole body. "He died because a person was craving power and took people that could've been good and turned them into… puppy dogs. Helpless puppies that followed him bloody everywhere."

"I don't feel guilty. I mean I do, everyone does, but what you think about my supposed guilt… it's rubbish."

I stared hard at him. "I don't believe you." He snorted through his tears and looked at me, removing his round specs and wiping them on his shirt.

"Of course you don't."

"Rubbish. I believe almost every word you say, but I know when you're lying."

"Really? And how's that do you suppose?"

"When you lie, your voice is this super scratchy monotone, and you answer in really short sentences instead of trying to defend yourself—like you do when you know you're right, or you're angry." He glared at me and didn't say anything. "Don't get all _knotted_ at me…"

"I'm not angry, I just… if I hadn't gone that morning, it wouldn't have happened. If I hadn't have been there, everyone could've enjoyed a lovely breakfast. Seven people died that morning out of all twenty-nine in the room. It's… it's just not right. And Snape…. I just think that—"

"Don't think for a moment. Come back to the real world Harry. It would've been attacked anyways, just," I gulped and started again. "They find it fun. They would've done it to stir up trouble. The fact that you were there was just a plus, an idiosyncrasy if you will. It was coincidental. And if you hadn't have been there, there probably would've been more deaths, so stop it right now!" He looked at me quite boldly and I turned away, covering up my face with hair, and chewing on a piece while I was at it. "I'm just saying," I said a little quieter, "that you need to stop taking the blame. Your friends are sitting in there feeling the very same way, and I _know_ you've had a lot of stuff happened, but that's why you need to stop, or the guilt will eat you."

He remained in a still motion, his eyes clinging o me. I continued to look away, but his hand brushed the side of my face. I jumped away instantaneously. He sighed. I remained gazing at the grass, but shuffled close to him, regaining the space I had caused jumping away, plus a little more.

His arm moved over my shoulders and I moved into his embrace. At this point my brain started sending signals to my heart, the true decision maker. Things like _pity case_, and _age difference_ were screaming through my mind at a rapid rate, however my heart seemed prepared for this ambush. It had barricaded itself in, and won the battle—not the war mind, but the battle.

His face leaned down towards mine and he brushed my lips gently with his. I smiled at the softness of it and he pulled away.

"My first snog was sort of like this… but it was the girl that was crying and not me." He laughed awkwardly.

"Were you that bad a kisser? Because it wasn't that bad to me." Through his troubled face, he grinned.


	28. Chapter 28

_Happy Birthday Mike! My dearest brother is a teen today! haha. He wants you to know he's also single and not a geek like me. Two chapters left people!_

**Chapter 28**

We stood there for a few more moments before I tugged on his hand.

"We have to go back inside," I said.

Harry's chin jutted out defiantly. "No."

"Harry… it's rude, and… I want to say goodbye to Bill." I gazed at the forever setting sun. He finally clasped his hand in mine and we walked back towards the heavy door. I opened it and allowed him to lead down the aisle, standing to my left and blocking me from any seats on that side.

I peeked around his lean torso and saw my Father glaring at me from his row. His face was livid. I stood back up straight beside Harry and allowed him to lead me to the front. Apparently he saw the glare; his grip on my tiny fingers tightened.

When we sat down no one in our row looked at us, they were all engrossed in the scene up front. Mr. Weasley was speaking in a slow mumbling voice about his son.

"… I remember this one time, he was talking about how he felt his wife. She died during the last battle, and they had only been married a sh-short time." He sniffled and rubbed his face into his robes. "They're together now. We'll… we'll miss you Bill. We really will."

He stepped back from the small alter and everyone stood. Bills casket burst into a pit of blue flames and I heard a loud shrill from Mrs. Weasley. She was standing behind her husband and pushed her face into the back of his robes, sobbing.

"Bill…" she sobbed. "Bill!"

§

I flooed home with my Father from Harry's home. I could see him itching to say something, but thankfully he kept it to himself and discreetly kissed me on the cheek before we left. Once again, my mind screamed insanity.

"Where did you go Bethany?" he asked. We had been sitting in the family room, and I stared into the glowing fireplace. The day had turned rather dreary for early august, and the heat felt good. My larger jumper was pulled up around my knees and I stared into the embers.

"What do you mean Daddy?" I asked quietly.

"You left the ceremony—which is rather rude—and then returned with that Potter fellow. Where did you go?" His voice was deadly cold.

"We just went out front Daddy. He… it was his birthday yesterday and he's been to so many funerals that he got up and left, and Hermione and Ron didn't go after him so I did." I continued to stare into the fireplace although I felt his eyes drilling into the back of my head from the kitchen table.

"I don't like you acting like a-a prostitute Bethany." He tumbled over his words.

I rolled my eyes, hoping he was just giving me a warning. "Daddy, who would… I'm not pretty enough to do that." I let out a laugh.

"That's not the point."

"Daddy. Honestly, I would never do anything like that. I swear." I finally turned my head back to face him.

The moment we made eye contact I was seeing things; death upon layers of death. My cat hanging from a tree and my Father apologizing, my bloody face, and then they slowed down. Harry kissed me, gently, salty tears on his lips, and I smiled in remembrance.

"SLUT!" He screamed. My head made contact with the wall behind me and I didn't scream, but allowed myself to fall limp to the floor. I knew the crack that came from myself was bad, but my first instinct was to stand up. I pushed up with my arms and let out a gasp as the blood rushed to my head, which felt extremely heavy.

"You EFFING prostitute!" Another blast and my nose crunched with the floor. I made no attempt to move.

"She died for you to live! When you were born she died and now you can't even live a normal life! Your mother would've been ashamed! Ashamed!"

I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come; I had run out.

"She'd be happy," I mumbled into the floor. The ceramic tile and shattered underneath the force of my body and the spell combined. The concrete was freezing.

"What? What did you say?" His voice echoed throughout the cold room.

"She'd be happy!" I screamed into the floor. "She'd love me!"

There was a silence and I heard footsteps rush towards me. He was on the ground beside me, rolling me over and cradling my head. "I'm sorry," he muttered. Over and over again he muttered those two words, his face screwed up with emotions.

"You're not."

He stopped rocking. "What?"

"You don't care." My face was still dry, and my body was so cold. I started to see things appear in the room; the once dull ceiling was covered in wings. "You never did."

"What?" he uttered again.

"They don't hurt me… Hermione and Ginny and Fred and… and…" I groaned. "They like me."

"Beth, your hurt and confused. Yo—you fell down the stairs…" I opened my eyes and peered into his. They were like windows to his soul: dark, wicked, and confused.

"I didn't fall down the stairs Daddy. I just didn't."

The doorbell rang and there was a banging. He dropped my head, and unable to hold it up myself, it smashed onto the concrete once again, causing me to let out what little of the shallow breath I had left.

Obviously unaware of the damage he caused me, he covered me with a blanket off the shabby couch. He rushed to the door and I heard it open with a creak. A few voices mumbled and shook through the tiny hallways.

All of a sudden there was a blast that was so loud and forceful it caused me to roll over once again onto my face. I let out a cry as my already crushed nose ground underneath the weight of my head.

"Where is she Jack?" I heard Remus' voice echo and let out an internal cry. They didn't understand. _He does love me… I'm wrong…._

My thoughts were scrambled in my brain. I didn't want to leave, but I didn't want to stay either. _I deserve what I get… but no one deserves Hell_. My teeth started to chatter and I laughed at the irony of it all; I had gone from Harry Potter heaven to Hell and didn't want to leave… at least I didn't think so. However, my ironic laugh came out as more of a cackle, and I found myself groaning and pleased at the same time._ I'm insane,_ I thought, _absolutely mental._

I heard my Father talking in a hushed voice, husky and obviously stressed. "… sleeping, she's tired from all the events. Just stressed."

"Go look." I heard Remus' voice as clear as day, and smirked at the charge of the situation he had taken. Immediately after I felt guilty for my Father.

Steps moved along beside me and around me before there was sharp contact with my thigh. The cover was removed and tossed aside hastily. Gasps and mumbles over my state were obviously heard although I wasn't fully aware.

I was looking into another world.

"She isn't going to live," said someone, "there is no way."

"Yes she will," said Remus. "Don't say that."

"She'd better," said another voice. I was almost positive that it was Ginny's fiery temper I was listening to. "Or I'll bring her back and kill her again." The sharp sound of a smack followed and Ginny gave a yelp. "Don't!" she said shrilly.

"Did it ever occur to you she could be still listening? Beth? Bethany? Can you hear me?" Hermione's voice echoed throughout my cracked skull.

I wanted to give them some type of signal, but found my body unable to listen to my pleading. Through clenched teeth I gave of some type of a hiss.

"I can't believe he was so right," said a male's voice. "His knickers would've been twisted right up tight if he saw this. Her dad's a thundering loony!"

"It's probably a good thing we didn't bring Harry along then… I'm assuming this is who you're talking about?"

The voices continued in the background as I felt myself being poked and prodded. The slender fingers passed over my face not three, but four times and I was progressively able to open my eyes easier. I stared around in panic, my eyeballs rolling like mad in my skull.

Remus' face was to my left, leaning quite close, stroking my hair. He was crying softly and I wanted to console him. _Don't cry Remus; don't cry for me…_.

A woman's face was on my right,and although I couldn't focus I was stricken by the sternness of her face for someone so young. Her gray eyes were almost dead looking, and her eyebrows were almost knitted together in the center the way she held her face. He brown curls were pulled tight to her head, and she easily looked to be in her mid twenties.

My body slowly pulsed out and I groaned once again. The pain was beginning to be recognized by my brain, and my head felt squishy. The disfigured nose that now overwhelmed my face felt the same way, and I wanted to push it back into place. The ladies continued to mutter and use her fingers overtop my body.

A loud voice suddenly echoed in the background and I wanted to dissolve through the floor.

"WHAT THE EFF! Oh god… Beth!" Harry's voice dropped to a panicked whisper.

"Leave the lady to do her work mate," said who I assumed to be Ron. "She'll be fine, I promise."

"No," Harry grunted, "Let—me… GO!"

"Not going to happen," said two say-sos simultaneously. I received a mental picture of Fred and George holding Harry back.

"They held me back earlier mate…"

"It was most diplomatic of us—"

"If we do say so ourselves."

"Harry, calm down…" said Ginny, her voice shaky. I giggled as a particularly tender part of me grinded. It was an awkward giggle, and I knew it sounded mental.

"Where is he…? WHERE IS HE?" Harry's voice echoed in my head and I couldn't suppress a groan.

The pitter-patter of footsteps moved across the floor and I spared a glance upwards, at Remus' face, which was now pointing towards the kitchen behind me.

"You'd better live Beth, you hear me?" The matching face to these words appeared overtop of me and I felt a tear roll off my face. "Good. Because if you don't—"

I cut Ginny off using what little strength I had left. "… You'll kill me."


	29. Chapter 29

_I've surpassed 100 reviews! Thank you to anyone who's ever reviewed!_

_ Final chapter goes up Sunday everyone!_

**Chapter 29**

I locked myself in my room; the ceiling turned the palest shade of gray. My skull was not fully mended, but my nose had been set right by the medic. I never did figure out her name. I woke up yesterday and knowing where I was, I locked the door magically, concealing it with mixed emotions.

"Beth! Please, you have to eat something."

"I hate you!" I shouted through the door. They weren't letting me go home. I was stuck at Grimmauld Place. I wasn't going to see him ever again. My only family, and they had taken him away.

There was silence again. They had been knocking at my door constantly for the extent of my consciousness. Angry, apologetic, sad and confused; all these pleads had seen the other side of my bedroom door. I wouldn't hear any of it, and although I had water at hand (my wand), they were sure I would starve to death.

The truth was, I had no appetite. A strange numbness had grabbed hold of my body, making the recent loss of food rather small in comparison.

"Beth?" I frowned. According to the time, Remus shouldn't be nagging at my door for another hour. "Are you decent?"

"It doesn't matter, you're not coming in," I said bitterly.

"Are you?" he repeated.

I sighed. "Yes."

The doorknob jiggled up and down. I smiled grimly. It had taken up a great amount of energy on my part, but the charm I had placed on it was flawless. The only way they could get through that barrier would be to blow it up, and I know they wouldn't do that in fear of hitting me with wreckage.

The handle jiggled once more and I giggled, proud of my charm work. To my astonishment, the door disappeared with a 'pop.' Remus stood there, his face both concerned and angry.

He slid into the room, oblivious to the fact that I was embarrassed and humiliated.

"Eat," he ordered, setting down a plate with different types of fruit and a variety of vegetables and meat. The smell invaded my body and my stomach growled much against my will. I knew I was hungry, but I was almost positive that I would be sick and turned away.

"I can't.

"Do me a favor. Eat just one piece of fruit. I don't care about what it is, just eat it and I'll get off your back."

I scrutinized him. "I don't believe you." I picked up a piece of melon grudgingly and nibbled at the corner. The sweet juices hit the senses on my tongue at full force and I gagged.

Remus patted my back forcefully and I swallowed.

"Happy?" I asked sourly.

"For the most part." He looked at me and then sat down at the foot of my bed. "Why are you angry? Is it because you don't feel well? Are you embarrassed? It's okay to be a little scared."

He said this in a rush, as if saying it faster might make it less intrusive. Wiping his sweaty brow he turned to look at me in one repulsive yet eloquent movement.

"If you don't… I don't know why you would separate me from the only thing I've ever known." I fiddled with the bed covers and sniffled.

Remus stood up in a sudden rage.

"He was _hurting_ you Beth. Hurting! Physically and mentally attacking you!" He ran at the wall and kicked it in anger. "Do you not remember the light? Do you not get what we represented that day? He is _everything _we oppose! _Everything!_" He turned to me, a once white scar turned red across his nose. His voice went softer. "Do you remember? _We_ are together now Beth. Everyone in this house; people suffered extremes, and we understand that because we are part of the very few brave ones remaining…. Just because he's everything you've ever known, doesn't mean he's right."

"I didn't… I wasn't with the light." The moment I told him I felt dirty. I felt disgusting and dirty. There was an awkward pause.

"What?" he whispered. The ceiling had switched from gray to a very murky blue—fog of some sort.

"I thought… I just figured if I went back, everything would go back to normal, after a little while anyways." He looked at me shocked. "I don't have a dark mark or anything," I assured him quickly. His face went slightly more relaxed. "I just thought that maybe, our lessons… they might decrease now that it's over, a few here and there. He wants the best for me… and when he—" I wiped my nose on the blanket, "when he sold me out, it was just for a little while. Just so he could find us a new home."

Remus walked at a snail's pace to my bed, his eyes wide. "I still don't… I don't understand."

I snuggled farther into the corner of the wall and pulled the duvet up around my knees before he sat down.

"When my mom died, I was only two days old. She was a squib. She was perfect in every way except for the fact she couldn't perform magic. Her parents abandoned her, and my Dad fell in love with her. It was the perfect story until I killed her."

"What? Beth, you didn't kill her, she died at your birth…"

"Just listen!" He stared at me, as my voice grew louder. "He told me I had killed her, and he was right. They do this test, when you're born into a magical environment, to analyze you. It was almost guaranteed I would be a squib he said, and my mom put so much into my birth—there was something she performed on me as she died. Not with a wand or anything, but a-a love charm of some sort. And that's why I'm a witch not a squib. I wanted him… he wants me to be perfect, like my mom, and I said I would be because she put so much energy into that charm," I stopped and wiped my face on my blanket and stifled a sob. "She died. She died giving me magic."

Remus looked at me, his eyes sad. "Is that what he told you?" he whispered.

I nodded my head.

"He lied."

Those two words echoed through my head. They were isolated and placed into my brain, repeated over and over again.

"She died because of loss of blood afterwards. When we… when we turned your dad in, we talked to doctors afterwards. It said in reports that she was weak coming in, and she caught an infection—a disease of some sort—"

"Shut up." He looked at me, obviously unsure of what to do. "You can't just… that's why she died! I _killed_ her! She died for me! He always said that! ALWAYS!" My voice was high and shrill at this point, my brain pounding. "He gave me up to them because he knew I could handle it because he trained me! He trained me with—"

"Beth! What he did was wrong! Physical violence is wrong! He performed illegal spells on you! You mother died because of an infection, not because of a charm. Your father… he's deluded."

"YOU'RE LYING!" I screamed. I stood up violently and jumped off the bed and stormed to the other corner, as far away from him as I could. "You just want me to think he's BAD!" My heart pounded in my throat.

"Where did he send you Beth?" His volume increased as mine did. "WHY WOULD HE SEND YOU SOMEWHERE YOU COULD DIE? Because that's where he sent you didn't he?" He walked towards me. "Where did he send you Beth?" he asked, his voice deadly low.

"The death eaters," I said quietly. "He gave me up to the dark so he could… so he could find us a new home. Because he knew I could handle it."

"No Beth, he sent you there to save his own skin. He sent you as a replacement. He was a coward."

"No. I can't… he wouldn't do that."

Remus pointed to the bandages that wrapped my head. "What wouldn't he do Beth?"

I looked at him quite faintly. "He loves me," I objected quietly.

"Has he ever said that? Ever?"

I didn't know what to say. I shook my head and I felt steaming tears successively running down my face. "No," I whispered. "Never ever."

Remus opened his arms and I fell into them, bawling. He held me for ten minutes before walking me back to bed.

§

I stayed in my room for the next few days, gradually eating more and more until I could fully digest a meal without losing it. Only Remus let himself into the room and I didn't tell him anymore, afraid that the rest of my past had been one big lie. We talked about everyone else, and once I caught what appeared to be a flesh colored string under the door, but thought it to be Kreacher or something, and ignored it.

Remus and I began to bond closely than before and I felt more at ease with him although it had taken some mad rage to make me realize what had gone on. On one of these days we had been taking for a particularly long time when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I said softly. My whole demeanor had become softer. I tended to look at the floor when speaking to people, or try to make myself as small as possible. I long lean leg entered first and I knew immediately who it was.

"Hi," Harry said softly. His face was rather pale, and his eyes had a dull gleam to them although they were partially covered by his black hair. "I just wanted to come check in."

"Hi Harry," said Remus cheerfully. "I was just on my way out. I'll come see you at dinner alright?" he said to me. I nodded and he turned and strolled out of the room, whistling.

"Hey Beth," said Harry walking towards the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I half-whispered.

"That's good."

The silence was unbearable.

"Are you going to come out and see the rest of us soon?" he asked bluntly. I shrugged. "Oh, okay, because they all want to see you." I nodded. "Are you going to talk to me?"

I looked up at him and found myself drawn into his eyes, the mass of green much to wise for a twenty year old.

"How do you do it?" I asked.

He looked at me, startled. " Do what?"

"Live," I said simply.

He frowned and sat on a chair that had been placed beside my bed and looked at me. "Quite honestly, I don't lock myself up in my room. I used to do that, but I don't anymore. To isolate your self… it's bad. You get to thinking to seriously which can lead you to—" he shrugged.

"So you're not just saying that to get me out of my room are you?" I asked.

"No," he said quite seriously. "You should be with people… look, Beth, this thing with your dad—"

"Don't." he looked up at me.

"Pardon?"

"Please don't bring him up. I'll talk about it when… when I want to. But I don't… not right now."

It dawned on him what I was asking and he gesticulated with his hands for a moment. "Fine. Come down for dinner."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"I'm quite happy in here."

"Beth, can I tell you something honestly?"

"If you lied I would have to smack you."

"The room is starting to smell." He smirked awkwardly. There was a pause and my body started to shake. "Beth? Beth are you alright?" He was instantly up on his feet, trying to lift my head.

I snorted. And then I laughed. Not a giggle or a chuckle, but a deep laugh from my stomach.

"That is the most—" I chuckled, "That is one of the most honest, funniest most awkward things anyone has ever told me."

The wrinkles that were sitting on his forehead disappeared and his eyes crinkled around the corners as he too let out a laugh.

"So I'll see you at dinner then?"

I nodded. "I think I'll shower first though." We burst out laughing and he hugged me before leaving the room, not closing the door behind him. And guess what… I didn't mind.


	30. Chapter 30

_So this is it. I suppose I should come up with some clever and witty saying, but truly, I'm stumped. I'm really pleased that there were so many people who like this story, it is really an honour. And, kudos to you, for putting up with my cliffy's and rather sarcastic AN's. _

_Anyways, watch my page because I'm not done yet. A new story will be posted within the next month and although it is nothing like this one (comedy!) I really do hope that some of you tune back in._

_Alas, on one last note, I say farewell and thank you!_

**Chapter 30**

I made my way to the bathroom slowly, and closed the door behind me with a click. I had picked out the clothing I would wear to dinner carefully, both scared and excited. However, I was not prepared for the bathroom parallel.

My nose was slightly bigger than before, but then again so were my eyes. My face which had once been rather round was gaunt and even more pale. No longer china white, but tinted green. My eyes looked hollow, and the once rather pretty blue had reduced itself to a ghost; a pearly shade of baby blue made my eyes appear as almost one color. The black eyelashes appeared rather out of place and my largest scars still remained, the biggest and deepest most visible and swollen a nasty pink.

I striped slowly and turned on the tap to the shower, mildly rubbing the hollow off my stomach. I stepped in and felt grateful for Harry's suggestion. The warm water felt good and my greasy hair which had been clinging to my head mere minutes ago obviously felt the difference, and let up. I stood in the water for at least twenty minutes, increasing the heat steadily until I was afraid I would burn.

I dressed in the purple long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of black trousers. My hair, still wet, was pulled back with a head band and I applied a little of the make-up Ginny had supplied for me so long ago—although it didn't help much.

I went to my library, silently slipping past the stairs leading down to the kitchen and tiptoes throughout the house, like a mouse. My book was where I had left it, bookmark still in its place. No one had been in the library since I had left, that was obvious. I turned on the small lamp and read my book until dinner.

§

Around six o'clock I headed downstairs to the kitchen. Self-conscious of my newly healed face I arranged my now dry, wavy hair overtop my brow. The steps were the same, although my outlook on the whole house was different. Apparently aware of my joining the dinner table, the Weasley's were in the house, prepping the table and dinner. I wondered why they weren't mourning in their own house, but shrugged it off. They were the only family that Harry and Remus had, and it made sense for them to be there.

I entered the dining room to an awkward silence. I assumed this to be the new mood of the family, and immediately regretted being in the place where he died with them.

Percy was setting up cutlery as I walked in. He looked up at me, and although I knew him to be slightly shabby when he dressed, his appearance was rather raw. Black collar, black pants and black robes, his bags underneath his eyes seemed to be the only dot of color.

"Hello Bethany," he said formally. I jumped back.

"Please call me Beth," I said delicately.

"Bethany is your full name is it not?" he asked.

"Well yes—"

"I will call you that then."

Fred walked into the robe, or I assumed him to be Fred, a black band sewn onto the arm of his emerald robes.

"Hey Beth. Perce, what's this?" he asked as he had wandered in on the last half of our rather stiff conversation. "The girl wants to be called Beth, so do it." He nodded solemnly. "And stop acting like you're the only person who knew Bill." Fred's face softened when he turned to look at me.

"Hey Fred," I said, once again quite softly. He walked forwards and squeezed me tight. Then, whispering in my ear he said, "Don't mind Percy. He thinks… he thinks that it is all his fault and is being a real prat about it." I nodded.

"Can I help in the Kitchen?" I asked while pulling out of his embrace.

"Erm... actually I think Ginny, Mum, and Hermione have got it under control. The guys will be back in a sec. They went to get glasses as I'm sure you—"

"GET OUT! OUT OF MY KITCHEN!"

Mrs. Weasley's voice came penetratingly from the kitchen as Harry, Remus, Charlie, Ron, and George were ushered out, each carrying glasses for the table. Fred shrugged and went to grab a glass from Charlie, who had apparently tried to balance it on his head. They placed them down on the table before noticing me.

"Well," I practically whispered, "Where do you want me to sit?"

"Well Harry's sitting there," said George, pointing to the head of the table, and Ron will probably sit there… so why don't you sit to Harry's left. Mum will be out with dinner in a moment." I nodded and sat down in the chair assigned to me.

Sure enough, Mrs. Weasley hovered things one by one to the table, followed by Hermione and Ginny, carrying the smaller dishes. Mrs. Weasley was rather thin, and almost as gaunt as I. Her cheeks had very fake rouge plastered onto them, and her eyes seemed dull and rimmed in a swollen red appearance. Tears were permanently welled up in her rather large orbs, and her hands seemed to be constantly quaking. Ginny looked much like her mother, her once shiny and healthy hair ruffled and sitting on her head like a wig. Her shirt seemed to be much too big on her and read 'Life of a Curse Breaker' and listed different words beneath it. It was then I realized it to be Bill's.

Potatoes, ham and all sorts of side dishes were scattered throughout the table, and the smell almost made me sick. No one said a word as we sat down to dinner, and one by one, everyone held out a hand.

Harry held his out to me, and I took it, confused as Remus sitting on my left took mine.

Mr. Weasley, who had arrived at the last minute, began to speak. "Thank you for those who are still with us today, and everyone who sits at the table to share this wonderful meal. We'd like to say hello to Bill and Fleur who are in our thoughts on this night and always."

Everyone bowed their heads for a moment and then let go of hands, although Harry's delay leaving mine for a moment longer. Although this was no religious act, the thoughts lingered like Harry's hand in my mind for a few moments more before I listened in on the conversation at the table.

"…reunited with his family. It was heart touching. I'm not even part of that department, but they asked me to speak with the little guy. It's quite scary really. They wanted a family man, and although they could've asked Baubles or Smyth, they asked me." He smiled a little proudly. "We found the kids' parents in no time at all, although how he lived for all these months by himself, I'll never be quite sure. Handsome little boy; only nine years old."

"That's great dad," said Charlie unenthusiastically. Bill's death had hit him hard. Closest to him in age, Charlie and Bill were always whispering and sharing opinions; it's too bad it took death for me to see how close they were. Charlie's once nicely cropped hair was messy and looked too much like Harry's. He, like Percy, was clothed in black and had a fearful look permanently plastered on his face; like a mask.

I poked at my ham lifelessly, and nibbled at a carrot. The conversation continued over to reconstruction in the homes around the Burrow, and how Diagon Alley is fairing. I stayed silent throughout the meal, but kept my promise by sitting through the whole thing.

Only before dessert did I leave, claiming a sore stomach, and going to bed. Once in my room I crawled under the covers softly and pulled them up to my chin. Afraid to turn off the light, I closed my eyes with it still on and fell asleep.

§

_"You take their word over mine?" he was asking. "I've been in your life for how long Bethany?"_

_I looked at him shamelessly. "You lied to me!" I screamed at him. "You lied!" His voice echoed in my head as death eaters appeared around me, chanting a word I didn't recognized, but knew. _

"_DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!"_

_I watched helplessly as my Father held my hands suspended behind my back and they killed off each member of the Weasley family before my eyes. Lastly Harry came to the center of the circle, his eyes rimmed red. He looked at me, pleading._

"_Don't let them do this to me Beth," he said sadly._

"_I can't help you!" I screamed, struggling in my father's grip. I shrieked as he went down slowly, his head bouncing up off the ground twice._

"_No! No!"_

_The man who killed him laughed and removed his white mask. Snape, the man whose first name I didn't know stood there laughing at me, a face of pure hatred and evil. _

"_Remember me Beth?" he asked. I screamed again and kicked my Father in the groin with the bottom of my foot._

"_There isn't a part of you I haven't seen Beth!" his voice dropped to a low menacing tone, "I've seen you cry, and I've seen you fight. I've seen you face death, and I've made you face death. Don't fight me Beth." _

_Behind him Bellatrix Lestrange was pointing and laughing at me, the eyes underneath her heavy lids flickering. That was when I realized it was a dream._

"_You're dead! You died!" I shouted. "And he killed you!"_

"Beth! Shh! Beth wake up!"

Harry's face looked at me palely in the night. My lamp had been shut off and all I could see was the reflection of his eyes in the moonlight streaming through my window.

"It's alright."

He helped me sit up and I gasped for the breath, leaning into him.

"Come with me. I want to show you something."

I threw my legs over the side of the bed and let out a little gasp as my feet collided with the cold surface. Pulling my jacket up off the floor I pulled it on and allowed Harry to lead me out down the hall in my night gown.

He too was in his pajamas, his face both excited and scary.

"Where are we going?" I hissed into the empty hallway.

"You'll see," was the only reply I received. "You were dreaming about death eaters."

I didn't say anything, but continued to stroll forwards at a slower pace.

"I do. All the time." He continued casually. "When I can't sleep, or when I'm… you'll see." We continued through the house and he took me to the front hallway, motioning for quiet with his fingers. We proceeded to leave the manor.

"Harry." I stopped and he turned to look at me. "This is craziness! I'm in my nightie!" He smiled.

"It suits you."

"Harry."

"Just trust me okay?" I looked at him, tears glistening in my eyes. I don't think he realized what he was asking. A breeze swept across the ground and realized how the cold concrete was on my bare feet. He walked closer to me, still not letting go of my hand. "Please."

He moved forward, dragging me from behind. We walked half a block and he turned right, pulling me into an eerie field of grass. A swing set stood isolated in the middle of a small sandpit. We walked past it and onto the grass, once again, I felt nervous walking through the darkness barefoot. After another three minutes we stopped. Harry let go of my hand and laid down, right there in the middle of the field. The outrageous behavior started to scare me.

"Harry? What are you doing?"

"Lay down. Just trust me." I sighed, but copied his movements, careful to keep my nightie down around my knees. I placed my head in the grass and closed my eyes. "Now look up."

I did, and was not shocked, but mildly surprised by the sight. A crescent moon hung in the sky; it's moonlight bathing me in a glowing light.

"I come here all the time. It's peaceful, and I can think." He whispered. I still didn't understand. "I talk out loud about stuff, and no one's here to listen or object."

It dawned on me. He knew about my time with evil. I had only told Remus, and he had promised not to tell, and it was very unlike Remus to break a promise. "How did you know?"

"Fred and George have these things that allow you to eavesdrop. The kind of look like string." I nodded.

"So you listened in."

"Yes."

"So you want me to talk about it?"

"Only if you want to."

I looked at him, and if he felt my stare he didn't show it. He continued to stare at the moon and so I turned back as well, the grass rustling underneath my head.

"I was a test subject. They used me as an experiment for new curses." My face seemed strangely dry, and I continued. "The man you call Snape, he was the leader. He did the most yelling and cursing other than Voldemort himself. I only saw him once. His face looked like… like a snake, and he was walking down the corridor I was in with other 'testees'. That's what we called ourselves. Did you know they tested… they tested kids." I continued gazing at the moon while memories flashed in my head. "Six and seven year old girls and boys… they continually died. In front of me… like the girl in the eating-place. They were like that. And they all had—there was this look on every single one of their faces, as if they thought the green light or blue light, or whatever flash of color the spell on them might have been, they thought it was pretty.

"Have you ever seen a little one die?"

Harry sighed, but didn't reply.

"It's so much different then watching someone older die. An older person knows what is coming and… I don't know. The old man with the beard, he sighed when he saw the green light… But the little girl with the red hair and her twin, they looked almost happy. As if they wanted," I gulped. "As if they wanted to touch it.

"I dreaded the light. I saw it coming and held my breath, praying for death or… death. Just death. I'm a coward. And now…" I trailed off, steam rising from the wet tears. "My face is going to go as wrinkled as a prune if I-I k-keep crying at this r-rate!" I sobbed in one breath. I sat up, and looked away from the moon.

Harry heard the rustle and sat up alongside me, his reaction barely visible in the night.

"And then, when I woke up in the hospital, my face… it's like this!" I motioned with my hands. "And I woke up beside a dead person! And people just keep dying, and when my Father was there, when he found me…. I just t-though that I would be all right. I thought that the constant forever-living man I had known all my life would be my savior. W-why would he be one of the m-most evil things I've ever known Harry?" I asked, "Why is it just not fair?"

Harry scooted over beside me.

"Why do people lie?" I cried, unable to keep my voice in a whisper. "Why am I always lied to? They lied to me when they said they were going to free m-me, and they lied about the pain a-and…. Did I do something bad?"

He placed his arm on my shivering shoulders, rubbed my back in circles until I could breathe normally.

"We won't lie to you Beth," he whispered. "Remus, Hermione, Ginny, Charlie, the twins—we won't lie to you. We've all lost something or someone. If you trust us, we'll trust you. We won't hurt you, we won't yell, and we won't lie."

I looked at him, his eyes glowing in the shine of the night. I knew he was telling the truth.

"You can live with me. We can make it official, and Remus can be you surrogate dad," he said with a smile. "That man needs to take on some responsibility other than himself. And I know you're almost of age, but you're not yet, and… well give him a chance."

I snorted and rocked back a bit.

"I'd really like that."

"We would too."

His expression was one of promise; a truthful, bruised and battered face, but a promising one none-the-less. I wondered what he saw while he looked back at me, his gaze strong. A mistrusting, abused, and scarred face, one unsure of anything and everything. It seemed that he didn't care. He leaned in and kissed me, not as soft as last time, and not as short. We sat there for a little while, and gently he pulled away, smiling and holding me.

I felt the side of my face, over top the rough skin with my hand. He placed his hand overtop of mine, and tenderly traced the scar on my cheek. He pulled our hands back and kissed it. I saw a tear roll down his cheek, echoing mine.

"It'll fade," he said.

"Do you promise?" I said almost inaudibly.

He gazed at me, and almost as soft as my voice, he gently replied: "I promise."


End file.
